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Introducing Gary Parker

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The Diary is predicting a shock to everyone’s favourite Germans.

One of Neil Lennon’s first duties last week when he returned from holiday’s was to confirm his backroom staff. The clipboard holders and cone arrangers. Justin Lee Collins delivered Johan Mjallby and Alan Thompson and is now trying to get the original cast of Byker Grove back together.

We have an emotional attachment to Lenny, Thommo and Johan. So much so that their lack of experience is sweep aside with the flippancy that comes from being part of one the greatest ever Celtic teams.

The “they know the score” seems to be justification for their appointments.

But the ‘team’ has a new kid on the block. Garry Parker is the one that we have no clue about or emotional connection to. It’s very difficult to have an emotional attachment to someone with a face only a mother could love and that is coming from someone who should know.

So what do we learn about Mr Parker that he has kept secret from Mary Jane?

The day Neil Lennon got the Celtic job I broke my leg then had a stroke” we are told of Mr Parker who must have run over the same black cat as Shaun Maloney or broke a mirror, which is very likely.

He say’s his “health is ok now” and that he’ll “soon be ok to do some running soon” which lead us to the question what will he be doing at Celtic Park as backroom teams usually follow the De La Soul mantra that 3 is the magic number?

Parkers duties haven’t been “clearly defined” but he says he is “a first team coach along with Thommo” and that he “won’t mind going with the reserves“. That’s good of him since Celtic sacked a long term servant who was happy “going with the reserves” to bring in Parker.

Still, it all sounds new to him as he continues that he “believes he will be in the dug out” and sometimes will be “upstairs, just to see what is going on“.

That clears that up.

What has he been doing for the last few years. Seemingly not being a brickie or a painter and decorator but scouting for Martin O’Neill.

I’d like to think I have a good eye for a player” boasted Parker, with, probably, his unusually large ears flapping like Dumbo trying to take off. This may come in handy with a ‘reported’ 5 players on trial for crimes against football at Lennoxtown this week.

Martin trusts me. I could have stayed there working for him” continued Parker giving a sense of coup to his whole appointment as if justifying the need for him.

Still, The Diary remembers him as a player. Decent and dynamic midfielder who was an impressive addition to the midfield of Nottingham Forest, Aston Villa and Leicester. The impression being dripped is that with him working under Brian Clough, Martin O’Neill and, eh, Ron Aitkinson plus David Pleat then “demands respect for his football judgements

A story regarding “unpredictable” Clough is a great footnote for the writers to finish off with. We can’t get enough of Cloughs “madcap methods“. But when it gets reported that Parker told the tale “with a glint in his eye that suggests part of his remit will be creating the right atmosphere around Lennoxtown.” then it’s difficult not to get a shiver of the passing ghost of Terry McDermott.

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