The Diary will be trying to find American feeds for on-line games from now on. JP and Kyle. I salute you.
Remember it was just a friendly. One of those games that our American soccer summarizers describe as “getting in the minutes.”
True, Georgios Samaras played well against a Manchester Utd third string academies X1 – at least I thought it was him, it was really just an elongated pixel that looked a bit Greek (think ZX Spectrum Match Day Graphics) – and last night it he helped Celtic in a case of “third time lucky” in Seattle.
“He’s an bit of an enigma and has certainly given us food for thought after the Man Utd game and now this one” mused Lennon while Peter Lawwell pointed at Sammy’s contract which has ticked into the last year, a potential “£2m” windfall from an Alicante club desperate to be relegated back into La Liga 2 and waved a picture of our new number 27 in the air.
We should also wave his soiled underpants and invisibility cloak that are seen on occasions during the season.
Goals from the aforementioned Greek and the “enigmatic Paddy McCourt” – subjected to a “£300,000 bid” to join Charlie Adams Candy Floss and Chips Brigade but available at “£750,000” though our manager points out, in that way managers do point out that “I‘m aware that there’s interest in him but we’d like to keep him” – saw us record our first win on this “fast buck chasing” “gruelling transatlantic tour” against The Seattle Sounders.
This tour has got the members of the press all hot under the collar. We are asked “could Celtic regret chasing buck bucks this summer” by a paper that was preaching that “the shift to frugality is complete” and “prudence should not be rejected out of hand” when discussing our neighbours, like so many golfers at St Andrews, failing to land an Eagle at the weekend.
For those of us who can’t work Google Maps it’s explained that by travelling to Seattle – “every second flight heads for Alaska” – then “Celtic have travelled a long way from the beaten track here” and with “six hour flights across four time zones“.
“On Thursday they played in Philadelphia, on Saturday it was Canada, last night it was Seattle and on Thursday they’ll be in action in Boston” bleated one hack before concluding that next week in Portugal we shouldn’t “blame them if they look disorientated and even a little knackered.”
ok, yes these pre-season tours are a joke but “any chance to make a quick buck has to be embraced” even if that means playing on field turf or on a baseball field and travelling by Tardis to galaxies far, far away.
Last night we saw Ki Sung Yueng as captain (Paddy McCourt ended up with the armband), a “4-4-1-1 formation” and the sight of “Cillian Sheridan as left-back leant a mildly bizarre feel to the occasion“.
This sense was heighten when the MIB gave a great audition to join the Scottish League with a decision to send off The Sounders goalkeeper a decision described as a “triumph for petty FIFA jobsworths everywhere” and had our manager scratching his head and bemoaning that “the referee should have just let the goal stand as it was and common sense prevails, you know?”
The farcical and unreal nature of the game was also highlighted when Paul Ward – the MIB in question – gave his written responses, like some old woman writing to the Sunday Post regarding good cheesecake recipes, to his decisions in a local Seattle on-line paper.
“The red card is mandatory” “under Law 12” and that he “did not feel the Celtic player was going to retain possession“. With those types of excuses Hugh Dallas will be on the phone.
Though Lennon says “the travelling is unfair on the players. It takes a lot out of you, mentally and physically.” he is him and his coaching staff are old hat at these trips. They know how to handle them and The Diary can be assured they won’t be blamed for defeat against Braga.
“A lot of pleasing performances. Hooiveld, Misun, McCourt, Hinkel, Ferry” Lennon observed after the game. Hinkel apart I don’t think we will see any of those players against Braga in a weeks time.
Who say’s he is not already got a handle on this gig?