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Hand on Heart – An honest preview

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Jim Jefferies proposed formation for Saturdays match

They’ve got a Driver, we’ve got a Ki (I’m not talking about Top Gear although presumably their fans may have some).

They’ve got a Black, we’ve got a Brown (Nothing racial nor is it about snooker, even though Roger Black could do a better job for them).

They’ve got a Balogh, we have a pair (A ballsy side that is).

We’ve got an Irish following and O’Dea, they’ve got Elliot and David Obua (Isn’t he from Donegal?).

That’s right folks the net big fixture for the Hoops are Hearts. Once they were like a constant gigantic thorn in our side that Alan Titchmarsh would be proud of but now they are more like a jabbing three year old that wants a go on the swing next but they ain’t having a go ever. In footballing terms recently and in playground terms we may as well have been saying “Now feck off and play on the seesaw like you normally do”, even though they did come in-between (Don’t worry its not a Wayne Rooney story) the old firm  finishing below Celtic and above Rangers, they never seem to keep hold of that small Gulf they clawed back that very season.

In the seasons that followed they seem to lose their stalwart players as such. They lost Hartley, Gordon, Bednar, Pressley, Laryea and now in the present they seem to be losing the battle, and from my opinion, to keep their only real asset that is left, Andrew Driver with a string of English clubs linked to him.

We need to remember though that on the occasion Hearts do up their game against the Old Firm sides, no matter how weak their squads have seemed. Look at last December when Hearts youngster Templeton set up the winner in a 2-1 loss for the Celts. Lennon will be wary of what Hearts have to offer and what they could do to us as a team unit if Celtic lose concentration and primarily ball retention.

The Hearts manager Jim Jefferies is as experienced as any lady any english premiership footballer has paid good money for, he will set out a side to stem Celtics attacking options and more than likely a team that will counter the Bhoys upfield advances.

Loovens and Majstorovic could have their hands full with Kevin Kyle and Stephen Elliot possibly running the frontline for the Jamtarts, so they will have to be on their games. I believe Majstorvic and Glenn will have enough to control that proposed attacking option with Majstorovic being able to track Kyle using his great experience with strikers similar to Kyle which he has run into on the continent. Big Glenn will have to call upon his previous experience and his English Championship run ins with Elliot whilst he was at Cardiff and Elliot at Wolves and Preston.

Another point in Celtics favour is the fact that Hearts team captain, Marius Zaliukas, seems to be having some contract trouble at Tynecastle and with his future in doubt, Jefferies may be forced to push Zaliukas down the pecking order as his concentration is not on his football. Zaliukas is a key player for Hearts and without him their side is a tad weaker. They would lack a solid leader and lose out on the capabilities of a decent defender which would all play in the Bhoys favour come the weekend.

The only place to turn to now is what state the Celtic squad will be in after the International break. Will we have injuries? Hopefully not (Fingers crossed), will we have a team full of tired players? I should not expect our finely tuned players to have a problem with tiredness nor do I expect our returning lads to be any more the pumped for the match ahead than they normally would.

I expect a win against Hearts, obviously, but it will be again another closely contested encounter I predict. I think we will edge it with a goal coming from Big Sammy.

I now pass this out to the masses.

Do you think Hearts have the capabilities to spoil another Celtic outing?

Do you think the international break will have its effects on the side?

What are your expectations on the match ahead?

Please put your answers on the back of a Irn Bru bottle in pink ink and send them to your nearest Woolworths or secondly and most of all easiest, just post a comment.

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0 comments

  • Joe says:

    I think your wrong, you may believe we are strong but we are not, our defence is a shambles just waiting to be ripped apart.

  • Sean says:

    @Joe

    Where exactly do I say “We are strong” in the above post feel free to quote where I exactly say that.

    You need to cheer up and back your team to create a good defensive partnership with praise rather than focus on a negative that the players could potentially read up (see butterfly effect, chaos theory).

    Everybody wants an instant hit nowadays, but that rarely happens, the defensive players will formulate eventually into a stable of consistant performers, have faith in WHAT we have at the back.

  • lordofthewing says:

    In light of not having an irn bru bottle or a pink pen I will post here.

    Hearts will be their usual cunty selves. Auld Mutton Chops invented the 9-1-0 formation when he was manager of Bedrock United.

    We are not good enough yet to dismiss their threat. I see two unbeaten teams facing their first BIG TESTS of the season.

    That gargoyle Kyle worries me. I hope he is bound and gagged by Mutton Chops tactics.

  • gerard says:

    How can you have faith in WHAT we have at the back..
    Did you not watch the Europa cup qualifier in Holland? It was a shambles.

    • lordofthewing says:

      @Gerard

      I never think we have complete faith but sometimes if we wish hard enough the worst doesn’t happen. That night in Holland a sometime Dutch International didn’t play but he has played in 3 out of the 4 clean sheets we have had this season. Now, that’s scary.

  • gerard says:

    But to be fair i do believe this team is strong enough to win the SPL at a canter and will dispose of hertz quite comfortably. I also stick by my original prediction that the huns will struggle to finish runner up.

  • gerard says:

    Seen so much shambolic defending in recent times, my faith has deserted me.

    Thinking about gonna see a shrink to see if he can get this fekn europa cup game out ma head. what do you think?

  • gerard says:

    Oh god could you imagine? If he managed to bring back a memory of everytime Celtic had fucked with ma head i would be straight oot that chair into a taxi and straight over Beachy Head (and your paying the taxi)

  • sixtaeseven says:

    First against forth in the SPL: should be a cracker 🙂
    Home game so we really should be looking to pick up 3pts.

    Don’t think the tarts will be weakened at the back (with Wallace out), cos they will have two banks of 5 protecting their goal anyway.

    Could be close and might need a bit of magic from Paddy late (not as late as 97th minute mind you, cos if the teams are level on 90, the MIB will rattle his pea).

    2-1 for me (Stokes and Paddy, Glenda own goal)

  • Sean says:

    @sixtaeseven

    In light of the news Wallace is out for the tarts and with him being their vice captain, plus with skipper zaliukas focus not fully on his football that could have a domino effect on the way hearts go into the match. As on the pitch they potentially would lack leaders. A leader lynchpin character can obviously have an influence on the match via it word of mouth or leading by example without their leader/s who knows what the affects maybe.

    As it has been mentioned, I agree, J-Jeff may just shut up shop from the start with a defensive formation to his team, Celtic just have to score a couple thats all and they will cave in.

    I’ve heard Hooper may make the team this weekend? Can anybody shed light on that?

    • lordofthewing says:

      I think I detect the first Big Game Tension of the season. This flip flapping about The Jam Farts is a worrying thing. Realisation that this has got ‘banana’ and we don’t know what Hoops will turn up.

      Hooper is coughing into a bag in the hope he is found fit while my hard earned pound is going Stokes direction for him to open his account.

  • Sean says:

    I am as tense as vanessa feltz’s strides, but without the brown runway.

    Its a biggie but im stayin positive.

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