The post match review of Celtic v Kilmarnock welcomes back a feature that has seen grown men cry at the madness or stupidity of it all. Yes, the player ratings return. How did the United Colours Of Lennytown do in the shakedown?
Not well.
I was past a note this morning from a wise old sage. It had written on it: “We would have lost that game last season“. He has been passing that note for years. It’s now pee stained, crumpled and looks like George Michael has been using it to clean his cell.
So, this game won’t be purred over by purists. No late night discussions, fuelled by alcoholic tipples, remembering passages of play. The game was so tedious that discussing the merits of Flo-Rida long into the night seems more appealing.
Strange as both teams have gained merit badges in playing the right way. Both managers are happy with their lot. Lenny was thrilled with “the character” showed as we suffered the first setback of the season. Paatelainen, who looks like a baby hippo that has lost it’s mother, claimed it was a “bright performance“.
It’s no argument that Kilmarnock are now better looking than at anytime in the last 10 seasons. The stench is still there and will always be there as long as beasties such as Wright and Hammill are playing for them. They contributed to the bore by having one tactic. Drop deep and give the ball to Eremenko. They will finish comfortably the best of the bottom six.
Craig Thomson has a new haircut. Didn’t change his performance levels. Gave one penalty and missed another. Stopped play building up any sort of steam with any niggle being punished. Missed Juarez; diving but saw fit to book the Kilmarnock player to hide his embarrassment.
I’m sure the Celtic players were happy with the win bonus. Though, if payments were made on performance levels then some, ok most, would be facing unhappy partners, both female or life.
Emillo Izaguirre can be satisfied with his first few weeks. The worry is that the little Honduran is going through something of a Cha Du Ri bounce, which will see all his good work disappear when we realise though blessed with pace he can’t defend.
Going forward he has a wingers eye for space between defenders and a high work-rate. I’m off to Lidils to get a 25 gallon drum full of hair-gel for him and Kayal to share. We don’t want any of them to get upset at the lack of hair products available.
On the other side of the coin, Glenda suffered from the Sammy’s Curse. The curse that after you talk yourself up in the press you then prove that you really are a donkey. His drunk Uncle at a BBQ impression for Kilmarnocks goal makes his claim that he is “lucky to still be here” very true.
You would have hoped the presence of the now titanium boned Thomas Rogne, Version 2.0, sitting on the bench would have scared him into a performance.
The rest, well let’s see what the ratings bring.
Fraser, an easy 5. Cha Du Ri, a competent fade from prominence, 4. Danny, TACKLE, 5. Glenda, a Tel Aviv-tastic, 0. Lizzie McGuire takes the plaudits with an 8.
Porcelain Paddy, had the look of a man that doesn’t wear the tag Cult Hero very well, 1. Kayal, despite looking as if he should be washing hair for Vidal Sasson, 6. Ledley, knows his job, 5. Brown, hello? Anyone in?, 2. Ki, I take it the game was being showed in South Korea, 3. Juarez, collapsed with exhaustion in the 2nd half, need to cut that out, 1.
Maloney, splurts, 4. Murphy, you deserve a Jeremy Kyle show all to yourself, 2. Stokes, why the tongue?, 6.
MOTM: Lizzy McGuire.
Want to star alongside Pam in a short feature film?
what a negative article, comfortable win for Celtic in a game they completely dominated. Loovens though is terrible!
@richard
Not negative, just pointing out that it wasn’t impressive and quite…boring. Yes, we dominated but against Killie, whose tactics were to allow us to have the ball. Apart from the goals the only other chance we had came in the 85th minute.
What positives apart from Lizzy McGuire do you take? Don’t say 3 points, that chestnut has been claimed.
I agree Richard what a negative article! Yes we werent at the races, but we grinded out the result – thats what matters! It was these kind of games, these kind of performances that allowed us to win the league under MON
Very unrealistic if you think we are going to play like Barcelona every weekend!
You seemed to be more concerned about their hairstyles.
Frankly this article is pish.
@andypayton
I have scanned the offending article and where do I mention Barca? Oh I don’t. I mentioned that last season we would have lost the game. This season we didn’t. That’s progress but I gave a view on the merits of a game not the season.
Still, frankly it’s nice to see such a constructive disagreement that you took the time to compose. Touché.
Maybe in keeping with the nature of the blog you would like to offer an opinion on apart from the the three points what was good and who was good.
ok so killie are a very average team but lets face it how many times have we done worse against worse teams because there was no spirit. Yes there are still a lot of problems there but this teams in very early development so come on give them a chance.
Their not goin to get anywhere if ppl keep slaggin them off thats so called celtic mens job like messrs walker provan and burley
I belive in this team its early and i believe will take about 3 to 4 years to fully develop but great times are ahead
HAIL HAIL LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!
@Colin
3 to 4 years? This is a question. Do you reckon if Juarez and Kayal reach the potential that they have shown we will hold onto them that long? I say Jaurez will be off next summer.
I believe he is that good just not yesterday.
I think the article is quite negative, I was happy enough with the performance overall but tend to agree with you that with the amount of possession we had it would have been nice to have made the win more convincing. Killie let us play but we didn’t create very much at all given that the game was played in their half.
Dare I suggest it but would Samaras have made a difference as a sub?
I have seen enough so far that tells me when can play some nice football and score a few goals, mainly at home, and would take this kind of result away from home more often than not.
Tiny gripe with Ledley getting 5? I thought he was one of our better players, great passing and comfortable on the ball, everything Brown isn’t, I would say 7/10.
@connell
Again, it’s one game not a season review and, truth out here, I wonder how many would have been pleased with the performance if we had dropped points. We didn’t but that’s not going to stop me calling the game as I saw it. Poor.
Seems to be some unwritten rule that you can’t have a pop as it means you don’t back the team. What shit. Stop being cowboy decorators by papering over the cracks.
Liberate yourselves and embrace the truth. Admit we were poor and move on. I have.
Ledley, was decent but in the whole whole context just being decent is a five scoring.
@Conall
I think Lenny’s plan was to bring on Sammy for Murphy. But after two forced substitutions, his options were restricted. He had to replace Kayal whose behavior was taking him close to a red card.
So Ki came on for Kayal to help play the game out & make sure of the 3pts (and, as mentioned, satisfy the Korean CSC).
I must admit I was overall disappointed with the performance but realize the players are still getting to know one another. It will take time but all the signs are there.
Had a laugh this morning when I read that Murph punched the head of the Killie mascot at half time — that’s the spirit 😉
Three away games where I have been pacing about waiting for the final whistle. Thankfully three wins but a less lucky manager (Sir Alex?)could have started with away draws.
Next away games let`s see some daylight between the Celts and the game triers.
See you all at CP for the next three matches!
Only saw ‘highlights’ of the game so can’t say much about it. Sounds like Celtic were average without being in too much danger after equalising.
Delighted with the 3 points but a wee bit concerned that Lenny doesn’t seem sure of his preferred central midfield partnership or is too concerned with keeping everyone happy. Think it’s been a different pairing every game. It’s great to have decent options but I think a setted centre mid will help the whole team gel more quickly.
Mibbe a bit of a strange observation having just won 13 league games on the bounce but in a 2 horse race there’s no room for error and we need to be settled and confident for the forces of darkness coming next month.
Saying that, they’ve done everything that’s been asked of them (domestically) so far. Long may it continue. Hail, Hail!!
I agree with a lot of what your saying Lord, it wasn’t a great performance but those type of games aren’t always going to be crackers and they’re vitally important if we are to win the league. Killie were hard to break down and sat in their own 18 yard box for the last 45 minutes.
I doubt many of us would have predicted maximum points and only one conceded after 4 games. Especially after going out of Europe so early so I’m quite happy, generally our play has been good, and nice to watch as well.
Looking forward to Hibs at home, they should give us our biggest test at the back so far and won’t sit in like most teams which should allow us to score a few as well.
Do you think this is Champ Manager?! Do you expect to be able to bring in 11 new players & turn them into a great team instantly?!?
So the performances are still far from perfect but when your previous manager dismantles the first team & leaves you with less than a shell to rebuild from scratch, do you really expect this to be sorted overnight?! 11 new players in, strength in depth like we haven’t had for years but it’s going to take time for them to properly get to know each other – hence passes still going astray, 2 players still going for the same ball… etc.. but we’re still winning, even while we’re working on it. One of our best players so far is Izaguirre as everyone is agreeing, yet he barely even speaks English yet – can you imagine how good he’ll be when he can actually talk to his teammates!!
And Juarez didn’t dive by the way, he got out of the way of a player diving in with his studs showing – there doesn’t actually have to be contact to make it a booking, just recklessness, check the rules.
Europe came too early for us this season but domestically it’s definitely a case of so far so good. And it’s going to get better.
@cultyiredtim
No, champ manager is for geeks who can’t access porn on the timternet. I know this is not champ manager.
While I’ll cast doubt on your strength and depth claim – not enough evidence says this judge – I tell you leetle secret. For the reasons you state…if Lenny wins this league it will be one of the most romantic, dramatic and memorable ones in our history.
Lizzy not speaking English is not a problem. Nether can Scott Brown.
well all am gonna say to that lord is am quite happy with things are going and so long as theres doom and gloom merchants like you we will get nowhere fast cause one things for sure we certainly wont get any any big names unless we start building for the future which is exactly what we’re doing now and im happy to let ppl like you slag them because i do believe in this team and ill be the first to gloat when they start winning leagues etc so lets start getting behind the bhoys cause we’re never going to get anyhere fast if we dont
HAIL HAIL LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll reply more in full when I have time. But this needs to be said. Again
This game was reviewed as a single entity. One where I thought we should have done more with the amount of ball we had. It is not a take on the season or the direction the club is going. I agree, I know it’s work in progress but it won’t stop me calling games and performances as I see fit.
I’m away to poke a squirrel with a stick to see if I can get more sense. Faryl Mutph says it’s ok to be cruel to squirrels.
@Colin Garvey
Colin, I love the infectious enthusiasm you bring to the comments. If only I had a doctor who would give out the same happy pills. Debate is great and your more and welcome to debate here until your heart goes boom. But………
I have never said we won’t win the league so why you would feel the need for gloating is beyond me. In fact, when we do win the league you can come in here and I will buy you a cyber pint. Deal?
I back the bhoys with all my baws. Like tomorrow and Saturday, then the Saturday after that so on and so on.
To say I don’t because I said, like Neil Lennon, that we were poor on Sunday is like a dog barking at the moon.
totally agree with cultyiredtim this is a totally brand new team under a brand new manager who thankfully is celtic thru and thru and isnt afraid to be honest about his teams performance which is more than can be said of a lot of previous managers once things click lookout everyone cause this team will run riot believe me
HAIL HAIL LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION FOREVER!!!!!!111