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Celtic tactics leaked

Date: 30th November 2010 at 11:51 pm
Written by: | Comments (16)

The replacement refs did come, so did the snow, fixtures done then Dougie Mac did go and who cares we are better off without that HO.

I decided to open with a little rhyme in the festive spirit but then a referee got involved and I was yellow carded but after some consultation with his linesman I got a 3 match ban and also I have to spend the rest of the football season sat in a cesspit with the loose women and Wagner from the X factor waxing each others un-mentionables.

(For those of you who don’t know who Wagner is think Lorenzo Amoruso and a mangy Afghan hounds offspring and you will be pretty close to what Wagner is. If you don’t know who the loose women are think of the quadruple outcome of a swingers party between the spice girls, the ninja turtles and lorenzo amoruso)

Before the exclusive news I have to reveal I found this brilliant piece of news in the BBC football gossip column: -

forward Kyle Lafferty has apologised to manager Walter Smith after breaking his hand while clowning around coming off the team bus. (Sun)”

Does anybody think they left out the word “on” after the word “coming” on purpose in the above? It makes you wonder what predicament they had got in to lead to such a hand break, five finger shuffle marathon? or further more  were they playing twister on the team bus with the winner getting a go on Davie Weirs zimmer frame? Who knows?

In the wake of the great news that Dougie McDonald has hung up his whistle I can sensationally reveal an image of what the future holds for Celtics defensive and offensive on free-kicks and corners.

This picture was revealed on the great Mark ’ twitter to my utter amazement: -

Tactics revealed

As you can see this is obviously the ‘parachute break glass in case of emergency set piece’ method of how to get a clear head on the ball. Ironically its something we havn’t done for a wee while. A solid headed goal!

Notice the typical exquisite Catalonian balance of Crosas on Big Glenns shoulders, beautiful some might say. If I was Lenny I would be saying jeepers creepers Glenn don’t drop wee Mark now he will be out for months falling from that skyscraper height of your shoulders.

Since I have seen this image I hoped we would sign the big fella on the right in January to keep the defence fresh, but I believe due to weather conditions in Scotland in the summer, he would never come to ‘cos Glasgow is too f**k!ng cold for him. Regards to Mr Crosas for being a sport and letting us see his massive snowman.

Next stop where we might get a goal from a set piece?

At this point in the proceedings I now pass the wordily ‘microphone’ for you to shout your hearts out to whatever content.

  • Will be struggle against the Dons?
  • Will a draw be on the cards?
  • Will Lenny play it safe with a solid formation this time with no questionable substitutions ala Hooiveld being taken off against ICT?
  • Any score predictions or views all welcome from Celts or other footballing brains alike?
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16 thoughts on “Celtic tactics leaked

  • lordofthewing
    3 years ago

    Why I never saw Wagner and that Baileys addicted fucker I will never know. I’m disappointed in myself being an x-factor widow.

    Fuckwittery being injured is a boost for them. The senile auld goat then doesn’t get the notion to play him. Their chances of winning the league have just improved, unless he plays Foster.

    Hooiveld is shit. Him being taken off on Saturday had nothing to do with the collapse.

    Plus there is more chance of that snowman scoring from a set play than us.

    Reply
  • sixtaeseven
    3 years ago

    • Aye
    • Aye
    • Naw
    • 1-1

    Views: No longer feel good about winning the league (or anything else come to that this season).
    If Barca are the Orgasm Team, I just can’t bring myself to write what we have become…

    Reply
    • lordofthewing
      3 years ago

      The naw, regarding the formation. Today’s Garunaid has a blog about Redknapp and Clough. Lennon should read it as should we all.

      We are the pemerture ejaculation team.

      Reply
  • Sean
    3 years ago

    @LOTW
    Premature ejaculation team? More like “the teenage lad who has discovered his groin sausage can stand on end for the first time” team, a lot to learn and practise will make perfect, eventually.

    I would take a one ‘nil-er’ right now if we get to play the dons. We all would like to smash the dons comfortably, but even though I am a positive person, in this case I cant see it being comfortable at all. Ki to score a winning freekick, one nil win.

    Reply
    • lordofthewing
      3 years ago

      I just thought we peaked too early.

      Reply
  • sixtaeseven
    3 years ago

    Game off for the Frigid Team
    (and awe the others tae, including Wattie’s Anti-Orgasm XI)

    Reply
    • lordofthewing
      3 years ago

      Get the boys away to the sun for a few days. Some golf, beer and training. Get Desmond to pay.

      Surely the Huns are the corcet xi?

      Reply
  • lordofthewing
    3 years ago

    The Sheep sack McGhee. Call off came at the wrong time for him it seems.

    Reply
  • Sean
    3 years ago

    what odds would you give me for dougie mcdonald being named the next dons manager?

    Reply
    • lordofthewing
      3 years ago

      With Hugh Dallas as Director Of Football changing his team sheets.

      Reply
  • Sean
    3 years ago

    …and randomly bert konterman as transfer representative, his first signing quite obviously will be fernando (p)rickson.

    Reply
  • Bobo
    3 years ago

    Rangers weakened badly by injuries with a couple of tough games coming. Then it snows unexpectedly. Whats God playing at? Should he be sacked? Celtic seek clarification.
    Forget Lenny and the team, they are what they are, you get what you pay for. The board lack committment to the fans. A golden opportunity to rewrite the record books has been passed up in the past decade. A two horse race, with one of the two financially lame, and they still wont put their grasping hands in their pockets.
    To the fans Celtic represent tradition, achievement against the odds and a focal point for resistance to oppression (percieved or otherwise).
    To the board the club is a source of income which provides a high profile to a handful of mega millionairs. Say what you like about Murray, he put his own money where his mouth is and under Advocaat provided a team which played top class football.
    Aim at the legitimate targets.

    Reply
    • lordofthewing
      3 years ago

      While I fully agree that the plc have been the route cause of the last 2 seasons your Murray and Advocunt exampled is so flawed that it could be a storyline in Hollyoaks. Both Lucky Eck and The Senile One have better records at home and abroad than Advocunt. Throwing money when you have none is not the answer.

      Having a plan, sticking to it and making correct choices is the key. We don’t do any of those.

      Reply
  • lordofthewing
    3 years ago

    Watched Abu Dabi FC in the Zooropa last night. Knowingly shit….

    Reply
  • Bobo
    3 years ago

    Correct LOTW. At the time Murray had about half as much money as Desmond. Murray spent his in an attempt to achieve European glory and failed. They did however dominate utterly in the domestic game whilst playing great football. Desmond and his cronies are more intent in taking money out of the club than investing. And this at a time when Rangers are really vulnerable. Remember the £20,000,000. Desmond crowed about when O’Neil took Celtic to the UEFA cup final. Where did that go? Remember the seasons end profits and the gloating about that because of the Rangers debt. Well the shareholders got dividends, the fans got empty pockets and Rangers walked away with the trophies. How do they get the fans back onside?
    Appoint a fans favourite, again, at cut price whilst shouting cheats and conspiracies at every setback. The gullible got onside whilst the club became a laughing stock. The trouble is that, unless a genuine fan comes along with serious money, then nothing will change.

    Reply

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