It seems like we should be still getting sand out our trainers, still be able to peel ruler length strips of sunburnt skin from our torso, still trying to make up with your girlfriend after that bird from Torryglen gave you that rash in Ibiza and still trying to convince yourself that you like golf, cricket and the Tour De France.
We are back so quickly that Dundee United are the only Scottish team out of Europe and Chic Young’s tan is on Cuprinol Hazelnut and not Cherry Red.
The short break has been good. Get back into the swing of things quickly to right the wrongs of last season. You may have noticed that we have played some friendlies. We look to have hit the ground running. 3 wins and 3 clean sheets.
Kelvin Wilson has bedded in and Adam Matthews has been welcomed. Plus Samaras has only been seen once and Hooper and Stokes have scored. It’s all good.
The lack of quick movement on the keeper front. Cool Hand Luka will be forever blighted by his association with Mogga. He was his number one he was capable that night at Midden Park. Also, Utrecht last season saw him jettisoned for a stoned giraffe.
While we haven’t signed Stipe Pletioska is puzzling as much as it is bemusing. He ticks all the boxes we need.
I’m unsure whose hands will be the clammier at 12:30 on Sunday. Probably, Cool Hand Luka’s. Well, he has gloves on.
How will Kelvin Wilson handle SPL Law that a centre forward can kill and mane but any centre back in a Celtic jersey cannot touch?
They have a manager who sounds like monolithic troglodyte Real Radio competition winner and who everyday is hoping to confirm his super saver rail reservation, one way only, to Nottingham.
There pre-season business has seen them lose their best players and try to replace them with Tony Mowbrays class of 2005 who are slightly older and a lot more wayward now.
Sproule has returned to increase my blood pressure and while some claim – if you live in Leith or the dark side of the cheese moon – O’Connorovski is an outside bet for top goalscorer in the SPL.
Since he was unable to out-run the plod from an Embra’ car park after dropping some Vim I would only bet on him doing some porridge. Surely Dan, Kelvin or Glenda can catch him?
They seem to be in crisis. Perfect opportunity for us to hand them a boost then….
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