International football can be a pain and a bore in equal measure.
During the domestic season the week long breaks for pointless nationals seem to drag like being asked to watch paint dry. I completely get the apathy but what I can’t grasp is the apathy to summer tournaments.
What’s not to enjoy about watching football nearly everyday for a month when there isn’t meant to be any football? Plus…..it’s not all going to be rubbish. YES….quite a lot of it might be but the chances are when you get the best players in the world together and ask them to play some games against each other then chances are you will get some good ones.
PLUS..the Euro’s is less inclined to produce the dead rubbers of a World Cup.
PLUS……you can always give anything a Celtic slant if you really try.
Let’s begin?
Group A.
Poland
Timurovision Rating: A lapsed 7
Since the dawning of European players coming to our shores, Celtic have had a healthy relationship with all things Polska. Jackie, Shuggie, Majic, Lukas and The Holy Goalie have wore the Hoops with mixed success and their is always a large Polish contingent at Celtic Park.
Interest in the Polish Eagles in this Euro’s is limited. Ok, well non existent. Pawel Brozek warmed our bench for a few months then left bad mouthing the gaffer and The Holy Goalie is so far out the picture he is having his own cold war with Polish manager Smuda.
Flippant View that will lose me money:
Poland have only lost twice in their last 11 friendlies (to France and Italy). Don’t lose goals (9 in 11 games) & don’t score goals (11 in 11).
Will heavily be relying on home advantage to sneak a couple of 1-0 wins to get out the group.
Czech Republic
Timurovision Rating: 7
Not since Jiri Jarosik played for us have we had a fully fledged Czech internationalist. Before that – if we were being really quite lax- then the legendary Lubo got 42 caps for Czechoslovakia before opting for Slovakia and that Dr Jo Venglos lead the Czech’s to glory at the 1976 Euros and also the quarter finals of the World Cup in 1990.
The basis of those successes could be linked to Johnny Madden who led the first ever Celtic forward line who coached Slavia Prague in the early 1900’s and is credited with revolutionizing the game in the country.
All that before I mention defeating Dulka Prague in the semi final of the 1967 European Cup and we currently have the Twardzik twins on our books.
Flippant View that will lose me money:
They sneaked out a bum fight with Scotland before impressively beating Montenegro home and away. They only lost 6 goals in 10 games but only scored 11. Long way from the heights of runners up in 1996 and semi finalists in 2004 and could will struggle to get out the group.
Greece
Timurovision Rating: 10
Oh Ah Samaras, Oh Ah Samaras. No need to go any further me thinks.
Flippant View that will lose me money:
Only lost 5 goals in qualifying and only scored more than 2 in a game once against Malta. Not renowned for being artisans and though King Otto Rehhagel left the style hasn’t changed under Fernando Santos. They play for set plays and hump long balls into space. We really should hate them and their playing for 1 nils but I will be backing Sammy to score at least once in the competition. Blind loyality or Fools Gold? I can’t decide.
Russia
Timurovision Rating:
The last few seasons have seen us give Moscovites Dynamo & Spartak a doing in Champions League qualifiers. Spartak were also kind enough to give is £9m for Aiden McGeady, which went a ong way to building the current Celtic team.
Dmitri Kharine also shifted his trackie bottoms around our goal mouth but the fact that a man who looks like a penguin being b*ggered by a polar bear is in charge of them makes the first team that we REALLY want to get pumped or go out in a sadistic unlucky fashion.
Flippant View that will lose me money:
The Little Dick has made them pragmatists since taking them over from Guus Hiddink in 2010. The swashbuckling great Russian side of 2008 have been replaced with a mob that struggles to score goals – 9 in 11 games if you discount the goals they scored against Andorra – and are crushing bores.
Still too good for this group though and qualification will be another impressive mark on the managers CV, which includes helping R*ngers go bust before he goes to PSV next season.
Prediction Time.
This group will be as exciting as R*ngers run to the UEFA Cup Final in 2008. It will lack quality and goals with all 6 matches destined to be as tight as a Mallards bottom. Russia have more quality than all the others and should top the group. All the other 3 teams can qualify but I’m going with the Poles due to home advantage with Greece 3rd and the Czechs bottom.