They huv to be saved Dave, they huv to be saved…
Dave hud heard this awe before..
Fae the end of the bar tae the work place floor
This time it wisnny gonna to pass him by
This time he hud to ask why
Is it because you hud an egotistical owner
That Joanna Lumely gave a boner?
Cause the relationship wie the bank wis doomed to fail
So tax advice from Paul Blaxendale?
Cause Marvin Andrews wis a man o’ god
“An EBT, well thank you lord!”
Cause Souness wis the one that took the bung
Claiming he hud a nose joab to be done
Cause yir dual contracts ur no big deal
Ostenstad and Vanoli wir really steals
Cause Little Dick showed ye the light
Spent the cash oan a big Norwegian shite
Cause Lloyds TSB wanted thur cash
And Wonga widnae gie you a loan in a flash
Cause Craig Whyte duped yis during the night
Him and Prince Albert are laughing awe right
Cause Duff & Phelps are nuthin but crooks
They’re gonna escape wie the loot
Cause the players ur asking aboot thir tax dough
Whytey boy is spending it, doon in Monaco
Cause Paul Murray hus great hair
But Brian Kennedy disnny seem to care
Cause Bill Miller wis a truck billionaire
Well send him a few e-mails to see if hes fair
Cause cash for yir sash and loot fir yir flute
Hus seen yir fighting fund nearly kapoot
Cause Charlie Green seems to be in pole
But no one knows if he hus any dough
Cause Doncaster and Regan know yir worth
Your cheating and lying will see that become mirth
Cause biy not paying transfer fees fir years
Clubs less than you huv shed numerous tears
Cause no matter the rule whits mine is mine
Dundee United ur noo getting paid oan time
Cause no paying tax is a tactical innovation
Jonathon Wilson is currently writing aboot this sensation
Cause no Casino and no pitch on the roof
And Billy Dodds hus told the truth
Cause Barca and Manchester wis awe polis brutality
Hitting the disable and no thug like reality
Cause threats from Sally aboot the club he loves
Sees mail now being opened wie rubber gloves
Cause the media need you to be saved
They all huv mortgages to be paid
Cause small businesses youse huv also failed
Newsagents no longer delivery the daily mail
Cause punish us and we will take you all down
The court of session is the only show in town
Cause your debt is 134 million round
A CVA will see pennies in the pound
Cause you owe awe of Scotland 5 pound they announce
I’ll take cash as your cheque will bounce
Cause you are the people and yir doon on yir luck
Sorry but we dinny gie a fuck
Cause yir apology has been loud and clear
It’s still curtains for says Elizabeth my dear.
Aye, They huv to be saved Dave, they huv to be saved…
You’re a poet and you don’t even know it (sorry).