This second part of our Highland Come Dine With Me was more hospitable than the first. Last week we were treated to a $hit sandwich with added $hit and had dirty bathwater to drink but our hostess with the mostess this week was all Aberdeen Angus steak, red wine and ‘off course you can have a shot of my busty Swedish wife and her twin sister”.
I like the later far better.
So, how did we do it?
Six changes from giving Helsingborg hell. Forster, Lustig, Wilson, Mulgrew, Izzy, Matthews, Wanyama, Twardzik, McCourt, Hooper & Watt. Subs were Zaluska, Bangura, Forrest, Chalmers, Slane & Irvine. Most had signed permission from their parents to stay overnight in the highlands.
Inversenkie we in a blue and red number. The white seems to have disappeared this season. Their habit of changing to non descript kits so often I put down to because they are the result of a union between two cousins. They have all ready pi$$ed over any history. Are they the original mutant club?
They have lost Ross Tokely but replaced him with a guy called Raven who looks like a cross between Ross Tokely and Carl Pilkington. He plays like an idiot abroad and seemed to be bemused at players running by him.
It’s safe to say that Terry Butcher has had harder craps than this ensemble.
The game kicked off and we attacked. Then attacked. And attacked some more.
In the first 10 mins Hooper had shot and been saved, Victor had scored, Watt had a howk towards goal, Mulgrew had hit the bar, Paddy looped a shot over the bar and we had seen two assaults go unpunished.
This was before Inverness had got out their own half.
Dominating? Think Panzers facing a weepy French village with a sturdy Victor and a unruffled Twardzik commanding the battle field. Victor won the ball at will. Twardzik just regained possession and recycled it so smoothly that he didn’t need to separate papers and cardboard.
We were unrelenting. Lustig weaved up the wing, Matthews was joining in the fun while Watt and Hooper skipped through the fields without a care in the world. There was no farmers with shotguns to stop them. Only cowpats. Paddy wanted to do some sowing but failed to find the eye of the needle.
Forster had to save a long ranger and The Senkie got two corners and felt faint. The lambs. We soon put a stop to that. The smelling salt was supplied by Tony Watt.
Worked from our corner flag the ball went from Mulgrew to Wanyama who poked it to Twardzik. A superb curve ball released Watt who was on fire as he “got his move on, you got to move on, you got to hit ‘em to the hip and get your shake on”, which he did with a finish so cool that it had shades on.
Who and Watt is this kid? Whatever it is we need to put a blanket over it and make sure it keeps cool. Maybe we should hide him in the cupboard like they tried to do with E.T.?
The game then lulled a bit. An impasse. We had the ball. They had the ball. The air went out the balloon for a spell. Quite right as well. We haven’t seen so much excitement domestically this season.
Watt nearly got a second after great work by Twardzik who also showed he could get his shake on but Tony got his angles wrong and a post got in the way.
Half time was called and Inverness seemed unwilling to entering the dressing room. It would have been like entering the dragons den but with a testicle eating dragon.
Chico Mulgrew put the game out of sight early in the second half. A training ground set play saw our Charlie score his second goal of the season thus meaning that bookies will be reducing his anytime scoring odds here on in. Bah.
From us last season looking like a team who stayed away from practising set plays like a lactose intolerant staying away from cheese. Is this the Garry Parker influence? Our the anti Alan Thompson? Who cares. Long may it continue.
Tony Watt was causing panic in the backline of The Senkie. One move saw Hooper hit the front door when the side window was open. His second goal was a poachers goal. Izzy shouldered after a charge up the wing and picked out All Action Adam whose poor attempt at goal kindly feel back to him. He laid it off to Watt who hammered it home.
4-0 and the changes did ring. Forrest, Bangura and Chalmers all entered the fray.
We switched off. Wilson had a moment when he hacked at the ball like a blind man trying to get a golf ball out a bunker and Chalmers and McCourt decided to forgo defensive duties for the two consolation goals.
In the main there was no failures. Yes, some of the subs didn’t swing the correct way but the big boys had already wrapped the swings round the bars.
Forster was unused and lost two goals, Izzy looked like his old self, Wilson and Lustig were better than previous, McCourt wandered around like a builder pricing a job and Matthews has chipped in with 4 assists this season. That’s impressive.
Mulgrew chipped in with another goal and stepped up and played when needed. Hooper seemed freed and buoyant while I don’t want to talk the bhoy up into orbit but Watt’s love got to do with it?
Everything peeps, everything.
Godspeed youse young hupes and hopefully Big Cup passports required!