Posted on Wednesday, 26th September 2012 by The Match Reporter

Drink!

An early morning drink.

I did partake in an early morning drink before this game in memory of our long lost foes who we were meant to be playing. Being BLOOTERED by 10am was common on such occasions and one that we shall miss.

And we are missing.

As we cartwheel and skip to the league title there is nothing for us to get excited about. How can you not miss the bigotry, casual racism, cheating of a Masonic conspiracy, a rise in domestic violence and a rise in drink related stabbings? All the things that make our country the best wee country in the world.

The proof is in the pudding or the swathes of empty green seats. Peter has a problem as the fans vote with their feet. The players cant do much more. Neil Lennons Celtic put in a performances, which was full of zest and verve and should have been worshipped by 60,000 faithful fans.

Instead it was watched by green plastic flapping in the wind. The ones who missed this game really need to look in the mirror. Celtic were charging kids £17 for this game. £17 for kids to watch The Celtic Way in action and play football that had Tito Vilanova quaking in his loafers as it was beamed back to La Masia. As a parent not turning up is akin to child cruelty.

Celtic should take the picture of everyone that was there and hang them up along the corridors of Celtic Park. It would then serve as a reminder to those that waver with their support that there are those who while indulging in over obsessive behaviour and seem to hate a club more than they love their own will turn up to support no matter if Debenhams has a sale on.

I call on Celtic to return to their charitable roots and allow those who missed this game free entry to the next one. It’s Celtic duty to educate in the beautiful game. Sometimes you have to lead a horse to water…..

How did Celtic produce one for the performances of the season? Let’s find out.

We lined up with Forster, Matthews, Wilson, Mulgrew, Izzy, Commons, Brown, Wanyama, Forrest, Hooper & Lassad who was joining the legendary ranks of Payton, Biggins and Slater by pulling on the Hupes for the first time. With those forefathers the weight of expectation could cripple lesser mortals.

Club 12? Well they looked very like Dundee. A uniform that reminded me of Boys Brigadiers. A fair number of fans traveled to pay homage to the part played by Celtic in getting them into the SPL and also to the vast Irish Catholic community that helped the Jute Mills prosper and shape the city of discovery.

It was a pilgrimage for some while others chose to wave Union Flags showing us that while they don’t agree with our rampant republicanism they appreciate that we part of the fabric of Dundee and of Scotland. It was also pleasing to see that they highlighted Police brutality by cheering and pointing when Celtic fans were wrongly ejected.

The irony is not lost that Dundee replaced a club that died due to financial meltdown. The club was once in such a state that it employed Craig Burley and a junkie South American who looked like one of Keith Richards lungs to save them. When you scrap the barrel of arseholedom then a one way ticket to Dignitas is the only way out.

They flirted with death and survived. They now hark back to the days of the Dundee whaling industry by giving Colin Nish who is made from 90% whale blubber and 10% whale testicle a wage. And what’s not to love about a team with a relation of The Pope in their ranks. Kyle Benedictus will have a tale to tell El Papa.

It was agreed pre-match that Dundee would be no contest for the Hupes and that an exhibition match would take place so the Celtic faithful could give the legend that is Rab Douglas the send off he wasn’t afforded when he was bundled out the door and forced to work under Craig Levein at Leicester.

Celtic decided not to play with a centre forward even though both Hooper and Lassad were on the park. Both players stayed out the box in what was a reminder to Barca and all other Iberians that we created this tika taka playing without centre forwards style. We played without centre forwards for a number of years after 1990.

Forrest, Hooper and Brown all brought easy saves from Douglas. The weak hit shots allowed the keeper to throw himself theatrically to the left, right and in the air, tipping balls round the post, palming the ball away or catching the ball allowing him to rise and acclaim the fulsome praise of a support who know a legend when they see one.

Brown even telegraphed the scripted penalty to Rab’s good side. The keeper returned the favour by ensuring that we at least scored with two of our shots. He allowed Hooper to score his first of the season sensing the player was devoid of confidence.

It was not the first time Rab had gave failing players confidence by allowing them to score easily savable chances. The man is a true professional and unselfish. It was all played in the spirit of Celtic and will be remembered with a play at the Pavilion in 50 years time.

It was an attacking joy as we flicked, tricked and passed our way through the game. We never forgot our humilty though and we ensured – well Jamesy and Izzy ensured – that Dundee got plenty of practice to clear crosses that never got passed the first man or got a lesson in how not to cross a ball when numerous attempts went out for throw ins on the opposite side of the park.

It was a good day. One that strengthened our image that we have been the true entertainers in the Scottish game for 125 unbroken years. Those who missed it will claim to have been there in years to come.

Godspeed you total football Hupes.

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