It’s that time again!
The end of a year. A montage or compilation was always going to happen.
In a very pathetic effort to try and be ‘different’ – Here is an A to Z rundown of all things Celtic – on the pitch, in the stands, on that internet – the lot!
A is for : Attendances.
Let’s start with something very very tedious. Attendances! For years, it was well known Celtic hadn’t been pulling in capacity crowds for SPL games. In the horrible Mowbray season, just over 40,000 punters witnessed games in October 2009 against Kilmarnock and St Mirren. The figures dwindled all season. Even when ‘THE THUNDER’ was brought back in 2010/2011, roughly the same number of fans bothered to brave the elements for matches against Aberdeen in November and St Johnstone in December. The poor attendances this season is nothing new whatsoever. Nothing was said in previous seasons. However, with Rangers and their bitterly hostile fans bearing a gargantuan chip on their shoulder from the outcome of their troubled summer, the only thing they can do is snipe away at how rubbish our numbers are at Celtic Park in the SPL, while they proudly boast record breaking crowds in sheer defiance at home to your Elgins and Montroses. Frankly, I have never ever cared about how many fans bother to turn up to the ground or not. If our ex rivals took such an interest in figures when they went into administration, perhaps they would have never been liquidated.
B is for : Bloggin!
It was in early January this year, I read an article online which was absolutely terrible. It was a guy saying how Ki was capable of being better than Paul Lambert. I’ve tried to find it since, but it’s clearly that deluded search engines refuse to acknowledge it. It was then I decided, if this idiot can hit out with demented patter, so can I. Towards the end of the year, I decided to get involved with @The_Celtic_Blog, which I feel should be far more popular than it currently is. Perhaps 2013 will see it’s rise. Anyone can write. I suggest you get in about it, it’s fun.
C is for : Champions League
Undoubtedly the years main highlight has been the progression to the last 16 from a very tough group. The way some of our players have stepped up has also been great to see. Many, including the experts at ITV, gave Celtic no chance of even third place when the draw for the group stage was made in August. But this determined squad of players had other ideas, and with some hard work, clinical finishing and an element of good fortune (Benfica at the Nou Camp, come on….), we find ourselves facing Juventus next year in the Knockout round. The fact that the majority of the team who faced Barcelona crashed out in Switzerland last year, tells you just how much they have came on leaps and bounds since that Sion debacle.
D is for : Daniel Fergus McGrain
A wonderful man! In October 2012, Neil Lennon made this remarkable human first team coach. At 62, there’s still every possibility that Mr McGrain would still do a job on the pitch. At 27, I never got the chance to see Danny McGrain as a player, I’ve only went on the word of family members that he really was world class and could have played at any club. YouTube clips are few and far between, and no one at Celtic seems to have to have thought to release a tribute DVD of him, so it was excellent to see him recognised by the current set up. The more legends working with the players just now – the better. There is no bigger legend at the club just now than Danny McGrain.
E is for : Euro Hangover.
Getting to the point – I already did a piece on this. Here it is once more : https://thecelticblog.com/2012/11/blogs/guest-blog-the-euro-hangover-a-valid-excuse – there was far too many poor performances after European matches this season. People said it was ‘the hangover!’ – I put it down to bad attitude and laziness. Worse Celtic teams have racked up more points domestically after European fixtures for this to suddenly be an issue. Thankfully, we now seem to have made up for this with six wins in a row and we’re now way out in front at the top of the SPL.
F is for : Fraser Forster
If, in 2010, someone told you that in two years, that a guy who would look more at home at Madison Square Garden would be a more accomplished goalkeeper than the outgoing Artur Boruc, you would be forgiven for deleting that person from your life and ensuring a few years in Leverndale was the minimum for such a moronic slice of patter. Amazingly, Forster has went from strength to strength since his loan arrivals in 2010 and 2011. A permanent signing at the start of the season, his performances in Europe have been nothing short of phenomenal, but he’s also excelled in the SPL too, with some terrific displays that have been so impressive, Roy Hodgson has called him up to the national team. At the rate he’s going, he’ll be surely overtaking the overrated Joe Hart as undisputed No1 for his country.
G is for : Gaffer (The)
Here’s a wee story. Where I live, there’s a Sainsburys five minutes away. There’s a manager in there I see everyday. One day I decided to walk up to his guy and call him ‘Gaffer’ – even though he wasn’t in the slightest bit in charge of me. He told me to wait at the dairy aisle. He then proceeded to pick up a 6 pint carton of milk and pour it over my head. He threw some Flora at me and told me to never call him that again. This may be a fabricated story, but the point is that the fact our manager, Neil Lennon, is known as ‘The Gaffer’, is utterly cringeworthy. There’s grown men on Twitter, responsible parents in respectable jobs, double my age, who desperately call on THE GAFFER for a retweet. He’s not a workie. It’s not 1995. The gaffer patter is more outdated than denim jackets and Levi’s slip ons. Can we please please stop addressing him as this ?
H is for : Hampden
Urgh. Not since the 94/95 season have we been so sick of the sight of turning up to the national stadium. Lennon’s Celtic endured two major failures in 2012 at this particular arena. The League Cup final loss to Kilmarnock and the Scottish Cup semi final defeat to Hearts were very disappointing in a season when we really ought to have achieved the treble. We have a match at Hampden in the League Cup next year. Here’s hoping the highlight afterwards isn’t our manager chasing a ref around a pitch or having a meltdown on his Twitter page.
I is for : “Internet Bampots”
I don’t know who exactly coined this phrase, a bit like the overdone ‘SUCCULENT LAMB’ patter, but again it fairly had the pish ripped out of it. I believe it was initially dismissive and lazy ‘insults’ from the likes of Traynor and Keevins towards your more high profile bloggers. But see when you really really think about it, a lot of Celtic fans on the internet, are indeed, bampots! The internet and more especially Twitter, has given everyone a platform, which is fine in itself, but the problem I have with this is that many automatically believe anything spouted by Phil and RTC. And as we seen a few months ago, it counted for not a lot. I am not making a dig at many predictions they’ve made that didn’t come true, but more towards the ‘I’m right all the time’ mentality the likes of Phil and co possess. They dismiss many Celtic supporters with an air of misplaced arrogance. Twitter, we’re told, is a haven for interaction, but all too often a lot of people with decent points are shot down, and many valid questions are left unanswered and many fans placing their trust and time in people out there who are just extremely ignorant. Don’t get me started on the thousands who suddenly became financial experts in February onwards either.
J is for : Jordi Alba
The man who was responsible for a record number of pints being thrown in unison at televisions everywhere in one city. Three minutes and sixteen seconds into added time at the Nou Camp, this cruel man prodded in an Adriano cross from six yards to rob us of a point at the home of the Catalan club. In the end, the goal didn’t matter as we still qualified but for a few days afterwards pharmacies in Glasgow had ran out of anti-depressants due to the knock on effect from Alba’s goal.
K is for : Kris Commons
It’s fair to say Creatine boy has had a fairly productive year. Having regained his fitness and form towards the end of last season, he has recovered from a disastrous slump which saw him fall so far down the pecking order he was being considered to spend his Saturdays in the kiosks instead of on the pitch. His goal in April against Rangers, his first of the season, was a wonderful moment. He’s continued to shine in our big matches this season, even though he can still be guilty of laziness in the bread and butter fixtures. The power of work he put in against Barcelona in the win at Celtic Park has often been understated and he ended the year on a high, putting us through to the last sixteen, converting a penalty against Spartak Moscow. I, for one, am glad he is flourishing at the moment, he’s the most creative player at the club and should be played through the middle, with the team being built around him. Here’s to 2013, Kris!
L is for : Lustig.
I have always been fond of a good right back. Growing up watching Celtic, Jackie Mac made that position his own. Didier Agathe then became the flavour of a couple of years and know who else was a damn fine right back, despite the moaners – Andy Hinkel. Then came Cha Du Ri. My world fell apart. Years of seeing fine footballers covet the right back berth ruined with the arrival of this useless galoot. Even Lennon seen the sense, albiet a couple of years late, and got shot of him. Step up Mikael Lustig! The maurauding Swede has been a revelation this season, especially in the Champions League, where he has not been overawed by your Messi’s and Cardozo’s. At 26, he still has his best years ahead of him and after a shaky start to his Celtic career, it’s fair to say he has put that behind him and became one of our better performers of 2012.
M is for : Media ‘Mares.
Not a good one for the ‘MSM’ this year. Chris McLaughlin of the BBC took a bigger doing than Drago in round 15 in Rocky 4. The inconsistency and shoddiness from professional journalists were really highlighted this year. I’ve never been one to even listen to the nonsense that the Daily Record or The Sun or Super Scoreboard hit out with, but it helps not to be truly ignorant. Of the articles that I have read in the past twelve months online or in a newspaper (Are we still allowed to buy them ?), I have been truly appalled with the standard of cut and paste numbers from speculation on forums that had been published. There’s a reason that papers are going down the pan, and just taking a wild story from a messageboard and touching it up a little with a ‘source’ and an ‘insider’ won’t get pass marks at all. While this is not completely to do with Celtic FC, we play in Scotland and there’s a mutual level of expectation that you hope to read about the previous days game in a fair and impartial manner and it sadly is just as poor as it was in ten years ago. The very fact that you have James Traynor, stuck in the 90’s, taking the huff and packing it in because of social media, is depressing. Still, good riddance to bad symptoms.
N is for : Norwich/Celtic Family
There’s been many lows on Twitter. The angry internet mob retweeting of a paedophile account without actual warning to spread the images over the internet was a shocker. The fake Glitter Twitter was a farcical affair as well. Chantelle from Big Brother’s public war of words with that Alex Reid guy had us all cringing, and let’s not forget anything said by Glinner. However, these all pale into insignificance compared to the night of May 22nd 2012, the start of the infamous #CelticNorwichFamily . A routine testimonial game for Adam Drury resulted such an overwhelming love in afterwards that some tweets were copied and pasted off the PornHub comments section. Scores of Celtic fans followed Norwich supporters, no matter how rapey they looked. Norwich fans hailed Paddy McCourt as a messiah who Celtic should have been blessed to have in their team. A real shocker. Thankfully, it died down and many of us stopped kidding on we would look out of Norwich on the telly every week.
O is for : Oldfirmfacts
Bit of a wildcard here, yes, but I feel the above account is a very necessary follow on Twitter. No big ego, no scummy patter and certainly no bias – just an all round entertaining read more often than not. Rips into Celtic and Rangers with no malice whatsoever and at a time when relations between both sets of fans is at it’s absolute worst, @OldFirmFacts1 do their best to remind people not to take things all that seriously.
P is for : (It’s) Personal
Still the funniest thing our manager’s ever said. The Twitter outburst after the Semi Final loss to Hearts at Hampden is up there with Peter Lawwell’s “In another universe!” laughter fit of 2011. Truly memorable.
Q is for : Quit playing music when we score a goal.
It’s fast becoming a joke, frankly. I’ve never been a fan of it, but seemingly a lot of people at Celtic are. The idea of letting the supporters celebrate themselves, without choreographed music from Depeche Mode or the Fratellis is obviously a pipedream for the matchday department at the club. A Newcastle fan said to me last year the roar when Ledley scored against Rangers in the 1-0 win was one of the loudest he had heard, and then he laughed when the goal music came on. That’s how bad it is. When a supporter of Newcastle is making digs at your club, changes must be made! Recently we’ve resorted to playing ‘Discoland’ at a half empty stadium when we score. Someone do something.
R is for : Riots if McCourt is sold.
Perhaps the worst excuse for a potential riot since a big screen went off in Manchester. I hope our manager doesn’t listen to this chant and take it too seriously. I was hoping to see the back of McCourt in the summer but, for some reason, he’s still at the club. I don’t like to think it’s because of that idiotic song which was spawned on the night of Adam Drury’s testimonial, but you never know. It’s high time he was moved on to somewhere else, perhaps we’ll see this in the January transfer window, but there’s no guarantee he’ll turn up for his medical at his next club, never mind pass it. We could be stuck with him for life.
S is for : Samaras
Right, @Chibchenko , shoosh, this is praise! Samaras ended 2012 as strongly as he began it, brimming of confidence and self assurance. A tremendous year for the Greek. A decent enough showing for Greece in the Euros, he got his name on the scoresheet levelling against Germany. He also tore Russia’s Anyukov apart in their vital 1-0 win in matchday three. At club level, massive goals in Europe, including the winner away in Moscow, proved Sammy was our ultimate big game player. The 60+ articles on the internet about his redemption tells you all you need to know about how he’s the main man just now. The transformation is quite stunning. And I don’t think there’s any Celtic fan out there who was a Samaras critic who isn’t delighted to be eating humble pie. I would love it if he ended his career with us.
T is for : Tony Watt
A year ago, if you were asked who Tony Watt was, chances are you’d have either made something up or Googled it for the answer. He’s now the most talked about teenager in Glasgow since that lad who had his socks on in the ned porno. What a year he’s had. Tony Watt too. His debut goals against Motherwell made sure Pavel Brozek would be on a flight back to Poland right after the game at Fir Park. Clinical finishes in the league this season have only ensured his stock has risen higher. Oh and that Barcelona goal was pretty iconic as well. 2013 can only get better for him.
U is for : Unwanted List :
Our squad may not be filled with as much deadwood as it had been in 2010, but there’s still a lot of players there who are just not good enough and should be moved on to free up wages to get in better quality footballers. Putting McCourt aside, surely Andre Blackman is a must punt ? Rabiu Ibrahim hasn’t had many chances, but a loan deal would perhaps be a good idea for him. Daryl Murphy and Mo Bangura are still on the payroll – this has to be rectified.
V is for : VagelisGeo
The second Twitter shoutout for the year goes to our very own Big Len, @Vagelisgeo ! Okay, this is partly biased as he is kindly donating The Celtic Blog photos for a competition we’ll be running very shortly, but his interaction is second to none and chances are if you need a favour, he’ll be happy to oblige. Yet more top notch pictures this year again, even breaking his European duck and getting snaps in over at the Nou Camp. Whether Celtic are playing at Pittodrie or the Parc Des Princes, you’ll get Geo’s pictures on the official facebook site within hours.
W is for : #WeBeatBarca
Painful hashtag, but the fact remains, the win over Barcelona in November was without a doubt, the highlight of the year. Fitting that, in this W section, goals were scored by Wanyama and Watt. Yes, we dined on it for a good while, but so what ? Looking back on it, any other club would have. Manchester City would have announced a street parade the next day. Celtic’s squad that beat Barcelona cost £7m to assemble. Barcelona’s star studded line up cost £157m. Forget a DVD of that night, I’ve got it tattoo’d into my neck.
X is for : Xavi
A talented individual he may be , he was also shown up this year for being a cretinous little mouthpiece. Before the game at Celtic Park with the team who are not allowed to be tackled, Xavi’s comments that Celtic were an ‘anti-football’ outfit and ‘don’t like to attack’ smacked of disrespect, even if he was only voicing his opinion. It’s not often he’ll be schooled by a 21 year old Kenyan every week. I’m sure he’ll keep his opinions to himself in future.
Y is for : Year Ahead
2012 can be considered to be a relatively successful year, with the league title won and qualification for the group stages was some feat too, but to actually qualify for the last sixteen was a massive achievement for this young team. With Juventus lying in store, here’s hoping we do our homework on them and get our tactics spot on, which we’ve mostly got right in Europe this year. We’ve got a good chance to pull away from the rest of the pack in the league, and the realistic aim this season should be a domestic treble. We failed last season to achieve that, so surely we’ll have learned from the failure and from our mistakes, and make up for it in 2013.
Z is for : Zzzzzz
Still reading ? Surprised you finished. Cheers for putting up with my drivel.