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New Scientific Study Explains Sevco Stupidity

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Today as much attention focusses on Celtic, there’s some news which will be of great interest to the fans on the other side of the city; new scientific research has emerged to shed light on the “three kinds of stupidity” and how they manifest themselves.

The Institute of Psychology at Eotvos University, in Budapest, has revealed that stupid behaviour is broadly broken down into three distinct sorts.

First, and most common, is called Confident Ignorance.

This is what happens when you take action believing you have a certain skill-set, or personal attributes only to discover – with all the attendant consequences- that actually you don’t.

Examples that spring to mind are Dave King telling the world how he’ll turn around the Good Ship Sevco and then getting into office and finding more holes in the structure than a Tetley T-Bag; Kirk Broadfoot trying to work a microwave; Ian Black thinking he’s a master gambler (and even a footballer); Chris Graham thinking he really does look trendy in fluorescent gloves and Barry Fergusson believing he has a future in club management.

Some of these simply result in embarrassment (yes, that’s you Chris). Others have more far reaching effects, as anyone who’s looked at photos of Broadfoot can attest to. (Gilding the lily with that one, I admit; that face actually pre-dates the famous exploding egg incident.)

The second form of stupidity is Lack Of Control.

That one is pretty easy to understand.

Examples of this are equally numerous; everything from fans making Nazi salutes even as they eschew the Best of British values; rioting in faraway lands, and even closer to home; as well as rabid behavioural tics in the face of such things as crucifixes, the Sign of the Cross, the mere mention of Ireland or expressions of Irishness and an inability to control oneself when reading On Fields of Green.

It’s linked to an inability to stop spending money, or when there’s none of that to fantasising about it and it also helps explain so much about John Brown.

Lack of control has been a common factor in the last few years at Ibrox.

Sometimes it affects entire institutions at one time, as we’ve seen there.

The third is even more important; it’s called Absent Mindedness.

As in, “Oh this sectarian email? I absolutely forgot I wasn’t supposed to send those in work.”

And such as “Oh that’s right; he was sacked for sending a sectarian email. We forgot that before we asked for his opinion to run it in a national newspaper.”

This explains how Dave King can conveniently forget things in a courtroom; how so many of their supporters started out with an understanding of what failing to get a CVA meant and now can’t remember it; how directors at the club can be so lax with the paperwork and salient details like contract registration; how even their legal team can “get confused” in front of a judge about the repayment of a loan; how they can talk about mending fences with other Scottish clubs one minute and the next start threatening to “settle scores.”

This particular thread puts down roots in the Survival Myth, the Victim Myth and the Global Super Club Myth, a claim that’s been blown apart time and time again and somehow still has traction with a support that ignores evidence even when it’s piled up like a snowdrift.

The author of this study, Balazs Aczel, said “These results bring us closer to understanding people’s conception of unintelligent behaviour while emphasising the broader psychological perspectives of studying the attribute of stupid in everyday life.”

Well, quite right.

But it could also be used for other things, like screening potential applicants to be the next CEO of the SFA or SPFL; it could be used to formulate a basic intelligent test for aspiring Scottish media hacks and it could be used to test the nous of fan representatives and future members of the RFC PLC board.

In short, this could revolutionise life at Ibrox.

Yet I suspect this will go the way of so many other scientific studies which could have benefited the Children of Sevconia, such as that vast body of work entitled “How To Tell When Something Is Dead” and everything that ever had anything to do with human evolution.

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  • Cornelius says:

    Excellent! Even a child knows when the pet Budgie dies… it remains dead.

    • Steven Rowan says:

      Why am I now thinking of that famous Monty Python sketch featuring the Norwegian Blue Parrot? Were John Cleese actually prophesising the downfall of oldco when they wrote that?

      Imagine that sketch rewritten…

  • john says:

    Why bother with this today? when our own support have brought shame and disgrace on the club by starting a petition to have the manager sacked! We have bigger problems than them! They will get their way. Deila will be gone before the end of the season and these half-wits will get a real Cellik man; Moyes, Keane or even Coyle, whoever is desperate for a job and owns a Celtic scarf. They are sitting around playing the Wolfetones, praying for the return of the Rangers to make them feel alive. Celtic are not the same club and they are supported by different people to the one I was born supporting. Something died today. Celtic supporters are no different to those who support Rangers (I am giving up calling them Sevco as Celtic Fotball Club are willing to recognise them as the same club and do nothing to fight the corruption). But carry on grasping at straws, mocking them. No one is listening, no one cares.

    • James Forrest says:

      Why bother with it? Hmmmm … let’s see …

      Maybe BECAUSE we’ve spent the whole day kicking the living shit out of each other.

      Maybe BECAUSE I’ve already posted two articles on Ronny on this site today alone, and one over on Fields yesterday.

      Maybe BECAUSE a little light relief on a day like this ain’t no bad thing.

      But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe we should all be rending our garments and tearing out our hair.

    • Saint Marys Bhoy says:

      John,

      I for one am listening and care.

      Why do I?

      Because blogs like OFOG and Phil Macs are willing to ask the questions that our self serving, TRFC supporting media don’t and probably never will.

      Like those organising this petition, i also want our manager sacked. Not because he is not what some fans refer to as a real celtic man, but because he is way out of his depth.

      The games against the mighty Maribor, Molde, not to mention Motherwell are irrefutable proof of this.

      The majority of Celtic supporters i know (and the ones on blogs like this) want an even playing field and want all concerned with RFC/TRFC/RIFC taken to task in a fair and transparent way.

      Will this ever happen? I don’t think so.

      Thetefore, it is imperative that people like James continue.

      HH

  • john gordon says:

    falling on daft? ears im afraid they the superior race have no understanding of reality and never will the time has come to bring their charade that masquerades as a football institution ? to an end HH

  • Scotty thomson says:

    Is that chuckles green lurking in the background of the photo wearing a flat cap?

  • Garry says:

    Starting a petition is shameful and disgraceful? Seems democratic to me. Actually more like a PR exercise to gain the attention of a board that takes no heed of its supporters. Accusing celts of hunnery is low. Accusing them of hunnery because they disagree with your view is actual hunnery. John, your are a hun. Jog on troll

  • James says:

    John,get your facts right,
    I want Delia to go,although he comes across as a really nice guy he is whoeful as a manager.
    I never ever want to see Sevco in the premier league so don’t try and make out that the guys who want to see Delia relieved of his whoeful duties also want to see Sevco in the premier league,this simply is not true.I hate Sevo and hated Rangers before them.They are totally separate issues

  • Gerry Graham says:

    Some of use clowns get yir facts rite before you open up your one brain cell..I want Delia relieved from his job..That’s point 1..Point 2 There’s no fucking way I want those cheating bastards anywhere near the top league and anybody who thinks otherwise is supporting the rong fucking club..If any of use want these fuckwits back in the top league then your supporting the rong club and there’s no place for you at Celtic Pk so fuck off

  • Pat McCarthy says:

    Ronny Delia is a great manager. But a great manager cannot prevent a defence leaking silly goals and strikers not knowing where the goal is. Some here think that Celtic ought to win every game. That failure to do so means the manager is at fault. Ridiculous. Look at the bigger picture. Celtic have a pitifully low income. Far less than the bottom team in the EPL. They are the best team in a league that is ranked 23rd in Europe.
    Ronnie was cheated of a treble last year. He could get one this year. He is the Celtic manager and we should all support him. That is the Celtic way. Stop the petty sniping based on unrealistic expectations.

    • Frank McGaaaaarvey says:

      “Celtic have a pitifully low income”. Not as pitifully low as Legia Warsaw, Maribor, Malmo and Molde. Were you still supporting John Barnes after the Caley debacle or Tony Mowbray after the humiliation at St Mirren?

    • Sean e voy says:

      Pat,
      Profound and influential- could not agree more.
      Petitium my arsium!
      Hail Hail

  • charles crichton says:

    The obsession with Scotland’s most successful football club Rangers continues. As for being dead,all football bodies and anyone else who matters say differently so we will take their word over obsessive compulsive disorder patients on a “celtic fans” forum. Concentrate on Downsize fc bhoys you have enough to worry about with your own 21 year old club.

    • wulz says:

      Charles the zombie
      Glasgow Rangers 1872
      Liquidated 2012
      RIFC (Sevco) 2012
      The hoops have never been liquidated .
      GLASGOW CELTIC 1888
      UNBROKEN !

    • Steven Rowan says:

      It is the time of year when Christians celebrate the birth of our lord Jesus Christ, so in the spirit of goodwill, may I quote you another part of the holy bible…

      GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY!!

    • Saint Marys Bhoy says:

      Charles,

      O dear, were to start with your moronic rant. I’ll keep it short, god knows i could be here all day.

      By governing bodies, do you mean the self serving corrupt football ones?

      I’ll tell you who recognise that RFC (1872) are dead (this does get taxing) – the laws of the land!

      I also seem to remember your former captain, Richard Gough going on record and saying it definetively.

      And every single scottish new nerespaper, the day after liquidation. But, they like you, prefer, now, to live a lie.

      And, of course, your founding father of your new club when he was at court in November.

      To my mind RFC (1872) are the only club in world football that have died and then claim to be the same club!

      Still, please stay in denial, it only makes the comedy even richer. Please!! My sides are splitting!!+

  • TonyB says:

    You’re old club is dead alright mate. We know it and you know it, and despite what you claim so does everyone else. Just ask any insolvency expert.

    The present zombie incarnation was invented by Charles Green in order to relieve the gullibles of their money. Indeed Mr Green was forced to acknowledge Sevco as the present club under questioning during his recent court appearance, never mind every single newspaper with RIP headlines in 2012 when the old club was liquidated.

    So please do yourself a favour and stop behaving like an ignorant fanny, which admittedly must be difficult for you as a sevvy in denial.

  • James Hassan says:

    Every time I see that photo I lose control, I worked with the big guy for two years and he always denied being a Rangers fan then “Boom” there he is all over the telly shouting about ” The Big Hoos”, so feckn funny!

  • Nickybhoy says:

    Just because a petition was started to bring about a change of manager doesn’t mean we should support the manager who has been rank rotten. He has to go in my opinion. We are a worse team under his tenure with no sign of improvement and all the signs of regressing into an even more poor team. Simple.

    I’ve said it before, it’s not just Ronny’s fault we are so gash, it’s the board and our transfer policy as well as his tactics. It’s taking us backwards. And it will continue to do so unless radical change happens. Board, scouting, training youth staff etc.

    We are attempting to become an ethos that we are not putting into practice. A stepping stone for good promising young players with a chance for them to shine in Europe, without actually having the base building blocks to provide that platform.

    I find it funny that bhoys and ghirls on here getting all worked up over a petition being signed regarding some attempt at a change. Our issues run way more deep than that of our current manager and his backroom staff, or even that of the current squad. Our issue is we aren’t making good business decisions regarding the ethos we are hoping to emulate.

    This is why teams with less financial resources can show us up on the big stage. They know where they are coming from. We don’t.

  • Mark says:

    I agree that we are regressing under Ronny’s management – this is clear for all to see. But it was the Board who offered him the role and the buck must stop there. Managing Celtic is not a job for someone who’s managerial experience has been gained at a small club with no experience of European competition. I manage a small business (quite well I think) but that doesn’t mean I could manage GE! Perhaps Ronny should have turned the role down but blame the Board for the ludicrous decision in the first place. Their track record in managerial appointments has been marginal. And while I’m at it, when did we last see a homegrown striker or centre half?

  • Sevco's little helper says:

    Guys, guys, guys……………..calm the f**k down! This infighting benefits only one club……Sevco. Sevco & the walking dead are hoping to make their 1st appearance in the top flight next season & the only way they could possibly make a dent in Celtic is if we have gone into melt down & pulled ourselves apart. At the moment the Scottish media should be focussed on the continuing turmoils on & off the park at Sevco but instead they are focussed on Celtic, they are fanning the flames of discontent & we are letting them…….WTF!?
    We are Celtic supporters FAITHFUL through & through…….remember those words? We sing them often enough now let’s show that we mean them. Support the team, support the board, support the manager, if you want a petition to sign sign one asking the SFA to explain it’s actions regarding the demise of rangers & the rise of Sevco.
    As for Charlie boys rantings……………………..LMFAO

  • john says:

    Starting a petition is exactly the behaviour we have mocked ‘them’ for over the past three years. It is the lowest point I can recall for Celtic supporters. Democratic? Aye right, an online petition signed by people who probably buy a knock-off jersey and never go to see the team play.
    As for me being ‘a hun’ . Please. This petiiton is started by the Daily Record readers No 1. And it plays right into their hands. Alternatively, it could be started by Alzheimers No 1 as obviously these so-called supporters don’t remember, Macari, Brady or Neil Lennon’s first two seasons in charge (particularly in Europe-Braga, Sion Utrecht). Maybe they are all 12.
    Our board of Directors are desperate to have ‘them’ back. The fact that they have said and done nothing about their cheating is evidence enough of that. Too much money is being lost because they are not in the league. They will never be allowed to go down again. The Aberdeen chairman will propose this and Lawwell will back it.
    Yes , Celtic are going backwards and maybe Deila is not the man for the job. But Scotland is almost finished as far as real football is concerned. An irrelevance. One thing I do know is, Davie bloody Moyes is not the answer.

    • Nickybhoy says:

      I’m glad we weren’t faithful through and through with the board back in the Celts for change days. You seem to have forgotten that revolution must first be agreed to be enacted. If that means in this day and age an online petition then so be. I personally haven’t signed it and don’t know or care where it exists. It is mute to the point I am making.

      If we carry on as is, we will continue backwards. Making European group stages will become almost impossible if not wholly improbable.

      I agree with you that I don’t blame Ronny, I blame the board for appointing him.

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