African Cup Of Nations Update: The other night I was watching Guinea v Ghana and a certain Dianbobo Balde was winning his 44th cap for Guinea. The AC Arles Avignon player made my nostalgia strings play a sweet symphony when after 30 seconds he lunged widely at an attacker, missing the ball and sending the man spinning wildly in the air.

It could have been the 21st May 2003 in the Stadio Olimpico De Sevilla.

So, what’s good about this week? The end of the Transfer Window that’s what. Instead of wishing for what we want we can now moan about what we have and look into our crystal ball – that all fans have – and predict massive failure. That’s what we do anit it?

We missed out on a big striker fae Real Betis (and any BIG STRIKER for that matter). The Verdiblancos have massive financial problems (that sounds familiar) and our CEO turning up offering a couple of empty irn bru bottles, a voucher for a Pizza Hut buffet and an empty packet of Haribos at 10:30pm on DEADLINE DAY (that just needs to be bolded and put in capitals in respect of Jim Full Of $hite) wasn’t what they wanted for Jorge Molina Vidal and wasn’t going to sooth their troubled financial waters.

Leon Best, I reckon like the rest of us he realised that he was at the bottom or close to the bottom of that long list of big strikers and decided to stay in the Toon.

What did we get then for the zero pounds we spent? Aye, quite an interesting batch and we didn’t need to say goodbye to any of our top men. There was some I wouldn’t have minded getting rid of some but that can wait for the summer. They may all have a part to play. Goodbyes are easier in the summer anyway.

Mikael Lustig is the one I expect most from. 6ft 3in full Swedish international 25 times and a reason to look out those slightly ill fitting Swedish tops for EURO 2012 as he will be taking on the French, English and the Ukraine in Kiev and Donetsk.

Another defender is Jaroslaw Fojut. One of the two players Polish players we picked up this window. No reports if we attempted to bring him this window (we are well covered in the CB department) but another one (like Lustig) who at 24 has to be seen as now and not future.

The player from the Poland was Pawel Brozek who was transferred not only from Transbonspor but also from his twin bother. He has 6 Ekstraklasa League medals and was twice the league top scorer before his failed move to Turkey. That seems to be in vogue recently. Strikers failing in Spor Toto Super Lig, he’s in good company.

Rabiu Ibrahim is a child protege. Named as one of the 50 most exciting footballers by World Soccer in 2007 and Top 50 Rising Stars in The Times in 2009. Has had a glittering career at Youth Level (didn’t John Fleck?) but has only made a handful of senior appearances for Sporting Lisbon and PSV. That’s a worry but he has 3 and a half years to change it.

We are also claiming that Efrain Juarez is a like a new signing. The little Mexican has played 15 games in La Liga this season (better than the SPL they tell me) and scored 1 goal. The only reason he was punted was because Zaragoza wanted to add another foreigner and Juarez lost the game of paper, scissors, stones.

It’s hardly Viagra-like trouser moving but it’s certain enough to take notice.

Oh, also we have the small matter of a cup tie in Inverness. We are unbeaten against them this season and haven’t lost a goal. We have also won our last 2 visits to the Tulloch Stadium on Scottish Cup duty 2 goals to 1.

Surely we will stay on course to reaching our 4th consecutive Cup Final since 73/75?

The Bad.

Meeting Butchers Inverness again is worrying. I was hoping that Dunfermline would belie their crapness. They didn’t and again we are looking at the football gods asking: “Why us?”.

Butcher joined Inverness on the 27th Jan 2009. They played and drew with us (0-0) a week later. We have played them 5 times since and twice they have managed to stop us winning. Aye, we remember that one on the 4th May 2011.

Was that Butchers greatest moment against us? Did I feel more pain that day than I did on Black Sunday? Does Butcher fire his teams up more against us than he does them?

Yes to the first one. His team were as fantastic that night as we were bad (time is a great healer). Yes, I did feel more pain that night than Black Sunday. I was drunk on Black Sunday. Very drunk. I never felt anything to the Wednesday.

We had only ourselves to blame for Black Sunday. We missed chances when well in control and the team ran out of steam. It was a tired side, one that had lasted one fight to long. Murderwell fluked that victory. Skippy gave up his Albert Kidd status when he signed for us. That was enjoyable. Any Skippy Loyal that sprung up was soon disbanded in a pique of rage and loathing.

But we still have Albert. God bless and that sail in him.

Is he cheat like Stuart McCall? No. With Inverness he has a 50% success rate in stopping them winning games. That’s what makes it worse.

On to the ugly then.

The Ugly

In his pomp Butcher was an easily hateable ba$tard. Now, he just seems like a hard working manager who enjoys his bloody job, making our life miserable in the process. His teams are in his image. We have never played a decent game in Inverness (this stems back to to Pre-Butcher also) and he loves reminding us of that.

This is a HIGHLY winnable game for them and one, that wouldn’t rank as a shock if they do.

That is fecking ugly as is my lack of paranoid loathing of Butcher.

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Lhads,

Earlier on in the season we did a Live Blog for games. It was a sort of minute by minute thing where I would vent my spleen in real time.

I was thinking of resurrecting the format.

Thoughts please.

Wonga seem to have found a perfect customer case study in Mr Craig Whyte. He seems to borrow money, realise he can’t pay it back then borrow some more. With me not being a Fred Goodwin or a Gideon Osbourne even I know that if you borrow money then default on the first repayment isn’t good.

Questions are being asked where the £24.4m that Mr Whyte got up front in return for 4 years season book revenue has went. Another £5.5m was gained yesterday after selling Jellyandicecreamvic. It seems that fee is just a working float.

To the untrained and naive eye it looks like the club are now in more debt than they were before the takeover. And this is before the Gorilla in the room needs to relieve itself on the carpet.

Yesterday saw them trim the wage bill of their highest earner and a few of the Murray Park Portages that were tipped for greatness a few seasons back after winning the Scottish Youth Cup. At least they have let the children off the sinking ship.

Whyte has blamed the previous board. He does have a point. The paper exclusive that has blown his cover was narrated by a board member who knew about the EBTs and the Tax Evasion. Last night their former chairman said that he was ‘feeling uncomfortable’ about what else is going to happen.

Graeme ‘The Beast’ Souness was appointed manager of our friends in April 1986. David Holmes and Lawrence Marlborough (Lights?) bankrolled the first Souness Revolution. David Murray rolled in November 1988 and his ego took the bank rolling to a level that had it’s own moons and orbit.

The press loved him. He had them eating out of his hand. They all wanted that Ronaldo to Ibrox exclusive. They all wanted to be on that private jet when the next BIG NAME was arriving. They didn’t do their job and haven’t been doing their job correctly for 26 years.

They are like an irresponsible adult teaching kids the green cross code but using the M74 for practice. The press are safely on the other side and are now encouraging the kids to cross using what they have learned. The kids are going to get hit with that on-coming Harry Stobart. I have no sympathy. They should have learned to work Google and never trust strangers with a vested interested in hiding the truth.

Since the Souness Revolution we have numerous Scottish clubs get into financial difficulty. Dundee had the Bonkers Bonetti period when Claudio Caniggia, Temuri Ketsbaia, Fabian Caballero, Craig Burley and Giorgi Nemsadze wore the dark and plunged them into eventual administration. Motherwell also went into administration. Hearts are just the living equivalent of a Blankety Blank cheque book and pen.

Souness, Holmes, Marlborough and Murray told us Scottish Football was all boom. Only a wee guy with a bunnet warned of a bust. The Scottish press were living the la vida loca on the back of – what has turned out to be – financial doping, fraud, tax evasion and cheating. No-one told the other teams that’s how it was being funded.

I was lucky enough to be a guest on the Homebhoys Radio Show the other evening. It was mentioned about R*ngers killing Scottish Football. I hadn’t thought about it like that but I saw this tweet afterwards.

In the 80’s Scotland had 4 title winners, 2 European Finalists (both non us or them) and Hearts were an Albert Kidd off winning the league with basically a team of thugs that they brought up via the 1st Division.

A few months back Justshatered sent me his “Green Print To Save Scottish Football”. I feel that it’s a good time to let it out the bag to breath.

Read digest (it’s after the ACN advert)and tell us your thoughts.

Armageddon Day is getting closer.

A Green Print on the way forward for Scottish football

Much has been made in recent months regarding the way forward for Scottish football so I decided to put forward my thoughts and ideas.

When you hear the pundits and the great and the good discuss football one word and one phrase are always used: ‘finance’ and ‘the good of the game’ and in my mind the two do not sit well together.

The game in Scotland is in a terrible state. Some clubs, like society as a whole, have spent utterly out with their means. Others seem to have decided that the requirement to pay tax does not apply to them. The finances within the game are horribly inadequate for modern top flight football and squeezed by the riches south of the border.

This is where I feel particularly let down by our games leaders and administrators.

Is it any wonder that, in the last ten to fifteen years, Scottish kids have started to wear tops of English teams when they do not get to see Scottish football on a Saturday night!

Our own product is relegated, literally, to a Sunday night at ten o’clock. Most kids who have school the following day are in bed. This is the next generation of supporter for every club in the land and we are alienating them.

The highlights package on each game is terrible. If there are more than four goals in a game then everything else is left out. When questions are asked about the coverage we are told that the satellite channels demand a limited highlights package as part of their investment.

Well bugger them I say. The administrators of our game should set the parameters of any let contract and accept bids accordingly. This should not be a haggling process as the game in Scotland gets little enough as it is. An extensive Saturday night highlights package on terrestrial television should be a non-negotiable part of any contract.

I believe that a complete and utter overhaul of the top flight is required and these are my proposals.

The TV money, as little as it is, must be split evenly amongst the top teams. This will mean Celtic and Rangers giving up a major chunk of the TV income but if we are talking about the ‘good of the game’ then this is, to me, a no brainer.

When I say the ‘top teams’ I propose an eighteen team league playing each other twice. There are a few reasons for this;

Firstly the universally detested split will be done away with.

Secondly there will not be the pressure of relegation for probably six or seven teams allowing them to blood youngsters.

Thirdly a smaller team will only have to play well, or get lucky, against the Old Firm once to get 50 % of the points on offer. This could lead to a tighter league as I believe familiarity breeds contempt. Coaches and players get to know each others moves and tricks throughout a season whereas a bigger league would bring new challenges every week.

Of course with an eighteen team league and two Old Firm games fewer any TV deal would be worth less to the satellite companies but possibly worth more to a BBC/STV joint bid (why is it BBC and STV can’t join forces to put in a joint bid).

The new split of the TV money mentioned above would mean that the only real financial losers would be the Old Firm the other teams currently in the league would retain roughly the same split whereas the teams coming up from the first division would have substantially more to invest.

With this redistribution of wealth should come a complete agreement on ticket pricing at every top flight ground while at the same time bringing back parent and child tickets. This would help the Old Firm fans who are generally penalised when going to away games.

Going as far back as the late 70’s I was always hacked off going to places like Easter Road only to find a sticker above the boys gate with the full price written on it. I recently heard a ‘phone in’ where a Rangers fan who lived in Inverness phoned in to say that his four year old boy had been charged £25 pounds to see Rangers play at Inverness. This is completely unacceptable. These are the very clubs who say they don’t feed off Celtic and Rangers!

A standard pricing policy would assist every travelling support in the country.

Fifteen pounds for and adult and Twenty pounds for a parent and child coupled with a small return to terracing would help bring some much needed atmosphere back into grounds. Youngsters would identify with their club at an early age and possibly stick around and become adult fans.

Home fans would also benefit from a reduction in pricing in the current economic climate. Tighter financial constraints are required to halt clubs spending out with their means. This has worked well in Germany and I see no reason why it should not work here.

Of course it goes without saying that I believe all of the above is for ‘the good of the game’ but may not be financially palatable if some quarters.

Will Rangers, in their current financial plight, give up their slice of the TV revenue? Would Celtic for that matter as our current board can’t see any further than the bottom line on the balance sheet. Will the other clubs slash their prices in return for greater TV revenue?

The problem is that finance takes priority over the good of the game.

Could the predicted financial collapse of Rangers actually be a blessing other than in a footballing sense?

If Rangers do go down the pan or into administration then all contracts could be up for re-negotiation.

As I write this there is talk of a new Rangers being created from the ashes of the previous club and their immediate reinstatement back to the top league. If this is authorised, and for the good of our game I hope it isn’t, then that again should also be a reason for re-negotiating contracts.

Celtic could offer the re-negotiating of financial contracts to scupper a phoenix like rise from the ashes.

Hearts are also experiencing cash flow difficulties and Dunfermline have announced the closing of one stand for the remainder of the season. At the same time sponsors are leaving left, right and centre.

The Scottish game now stands upon a precipice and if the next big decisions taken are incorrect the game could fail to the ruin of all.

Interesting times ahead.

Up in Liverpool all eyes were on the Luis Suarez inspired stoking of M62 hatred after the talented (but vulgar tongued) Uruguayan was found guilty of racial abuse towards Patrice Evra. No matter how despicable you find Evra he wasn’t the guilty party in this incident. Liverpool’s handling of the incident resembled David De Gea coming for a corner.

Lennon’s take on Elvis was that: “As a player I couldn’t stand Steven Pressley. None of us at Celtic could.” Take THAT. The game all of a sudden got an edge apart from the obvious Cup Final spot that was up for grabs.

The incident that sparked the ill feeling was in 2006 when our manager was spat on by the vile Rudi Skacel. Elvis said Lennon brought it on himself. A national paper proved that Skacel was vile. Nothing was done about Elvis.

I was hoping that the BBC would focus on the managers when the teams came out the tunnel. I wanted to see a frosty handshake, a vacant stare and the man from Matalan looking like he had a poker up his behind (as ALL say he behaves like he has).They didn’t; though footage beforehand seemed to show Elvis already in his seat well before the teams came up the tunnel.

Lennon didn’t get the chance to as Elvis had already made a complete witches of himself after charging on the park at half time- like a randy sheep dog it must be said – to berate Euan Norris for giving The Hupes a penalty.

I was wondering what he was doing. Why was he so irate? It was the BIGGEST stonewall penalty you will see this season. Darren Dods man handled Thomas Rogne like an Ultimate Cage Fighter trying to get an opponent to taste canvas.

Rogne had already hit the post by then. We had hit post also in the first 16 minutes. We had had a perfectly good goal by Gary Hooper chopped off by then and – to top it all off – WE WERE SHOOTING THE WRONG WAY for a first half at Hampdump.

Elvis moaned like a stand in Maths teacher trying to teach third year algebra about two decision costing his side the game. By doing this he was doing his side a massive disservice.

His side in the tunnel looked like a load of extras for The Inbetweeners (only James Forrest looked like he could get a game for them. Forrest also looked like he had a pair of clown boots on). They didn’t attempt to play like Ayr United who weren’t Honest Men of football and Kilmarnock luggy,Kenny Shiels, moaned about them playing for penalties. This caused Radio Hootsmon to state that no team EVER play for penalties.

I’m sure the La Voila will disgree about that after the 2008 UEFA Cup Semi Final.

Though we ended up hitting the woodwork 3 times, missing two one on ones and looking dangerous from set players WE NEVER ONCE looked fully in control. It’s easier to mention the players that were missing. Double F had another game changing save, Rogne looked ok (though Farid El Allagui looked as far removed as a 22 goal striker as possible), Scott Broon was immense and Hooper did the work of two.

The rest? Meh.

Falkirk on the other hand had a live wire in Kallum Higginbotham that was so good Victor Wanyama was reduced to kicking him in the head during the second half. They scored a cracking goal one that ripped and targeted the weakest in our team.

Wanyama – having a game that I expect 20 year olds in their first season in Scotland to have (two weeks in a row)- gave the ball away and Falkirk exploited the space that the below par Izzy left (according to Lenny he is “just not there and needs a bit time”) to allow Jay Fulton to coolly finish with a calmness that was fitting of his father.

His father was pictured soon afterwards celebrating in his Falkirk bubble jacket. Fulton is the exception to the rule that time isn’t kind to ex-players. In Fultons case life wasn’t kind to him since he was about 14.

I must yous tube Baggio after this.

We had Stokes to thank for returning to haunt his old club (5 goals against Hibs and Falkirk since signing for us) and Elvis to thank for his breakdown ending any hope Falkirk had off beating us allowing us to reach our third consecutive cup final for the first time since 76/77 and 77/78 when – strangely enough – we lost the 2 League Cups and won the Scottish Cup.

Aye, Elvis. His on field rant sent out the wrong message to his players. It showed that he was feeling the pressure. Why blame the ref? Yes, we were creating chances (which I fully expected the better teams to do – just like when we go to Europe the BETTER teams though not playing well always create chances) but his team were going in level and in with a decent chance to cause an upset. Blaming the ref – WRONGLY – says your looking for an excuse and haven’t got the wherewithal, confidence or ability in yourself to capitalize on your opponents failings.

The Lennon quote (similar to the ones in Davie Weir’s autobiography I was told today) gave the game a twist but also gave ammunition for the more fundamentalists in our support to HATE Elvis even more than their usual rhetoric that he played for them therefore shouldn’t have been anywhere near us (it’s also a reason some dislike WGS as he liked an ex). They could read it that the Celtic players didn’t like him.

His time with us was incident free and laced with a few half decent performances. He was nothing more than an indicator of where WGS was taking us and his vision of what he termed a decent player. I had a problem with that and not Elvis as a person our an Ex-R*nger or Jambo.

Problem is Elvis seems to bring stuff on himself.

I remember seeing Elvis and Alex Smith at a Stirling Albion pre-season game. They were playing the home side in a Stirlingshire Cup tie a few days after.

What tickled me was that Elvis son had a Falkirk replica on in the home end (though Stirling and Falkirk are not really rivals they just share a bus route). This was after I had seen him in a Jam Farts replica and also a Celtic replica in the past 2 years.

A psychologist would have a field day with this as would social work.

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CELTIC SHORTS

Thecelticblog MOTM.

The excellent Scott Broonie. He reminded me of a young Paul McStay.

Removed For His Own Good Award

Izzy taking off as his powers seem to become mythical and Victor Wanyama was sent back to defence where his poor passing could cause less damage.

The Illogical Hatred Of SPL/SFL Journeymen Award Of The Week

How could I have one this week? Their keeper done his old time a favour by being a bit slow and their goalscorer reminded me of the talent that was Stevie ‘Baggio’ Fulton. They also attempted to play fitba’.

The Good

I was reminded why I loved the gemme of football the other evening. I was falling out of love with it as I watched the El Classico. For all the talent, ability and sheer brilliance on show it was being marred by the play acting, cheating and just downright bawbaggery of  Luis Mira Pepe, Serigo Busquets and co.

It was also hard to get excited over watching Liverpool getting to their first Wembley final since 1996 at the expense of the nouveau riche Man City, no matter how good it is to see Kenny doing well. He has spent a shed load of cash also. It was hardly a victory for the little man.

The MOMENT came in the Estadio Da Bata in Equatorial Guinea. The hosts were playing Senegal. A team tipped for greatness and full of individual talent that showcases it’s wares in the biggest leagues in the world. The pitch looked like it was beamed in from a Sportscene re-run from 1957 (it even had tractor marks on it) as torrential rain turned it into a mud bath. Some parts could have been used as a weans paddling pool.

With the game poised at 1-1 each (Equatorial Guinea had taken the lead through Iyanga Travieso – or Randy as he is otherwise known – only to see Moussa Sow equalize) going into the forth minute of injury time Senegal had thrown everyone forward as their need for a WIN was more. They lost the ball. The Equatogenarians broke up the park.

David ‘Kily’ Alvarez Aquirre (the right back) charged through the rain sodden pitch like an extra from War Horse. When the ball was played to him (I don’t think we knew that he was going to be the most famous man EVER from Equatorial Guinea in Blog Towers since Simon Mann and Mark Thatcher) it looked like he couldn’t run anymore so HE DECIDED TO HIT THE FLAMING THING FROM 25M – PEAKING AT 98KMH – RIGHT INTO THE TOP CORNER.

It was the BIGGEST SHOCK ever in the history of the African Cup Of Nations (well until Sudan scored their first goal in the competition for 36 years and UPDATE Gabon beat Morocco 3-2 with a goal from Daniel Cousin). The celebrations lasted for at least 5 minutes. Equatorial Guinea’ s center half Laurance Doe was sent off for over celebrating, the stewards in the stadium left their posts joined in the celebrations with the team and some fans invaded the pitch (only to be chased off by gun touting soldiers).

It was pure Roy of the Rover stuff. It was the innocence of it all. It was so different from anything I have seen in ages.

What has this got to do with us and a date at Hampdump?

Well, weren’t you – like me- beginning to think that this semi final was a bit of a distraction? We are on an unbeaten run of 12 games (I think WE may have mentioned that a few times) and the thought of a cup game, especially one against lower league opposition in an empty national stadium wasn’t stirring stuff.

The reminder of the innocence of the game that we all love changed my view. Lennon is attempting to take us to our third cup final in a row. We have a hate/hate relationship with the Co-op Coca Cola CIS Skol Communities Cup. I think it’s about time we improved our record in it.

We are in form. We should play a strong side. Let’s enjoy it.

The Bad

The motto of Fawkirk (the title of this blog) sums up the situation that the SFL side find themselves in. Youth Academy products mixed with some grizzly old timers and guys – still young – who have something to prove (Mark Millar). They have the highly rated Murray Wallace who is attracting attention from Huddersfield, Brighton and Ipswich.

Don’t mock. Daryl Murphy is at Ipswich.

In Farid El Alagui they have a player that has scored 22 goals this season (6 in the league cup – 2 against Them and 1 against DuNT) who was playing for Romorantin last season. It’s as close as you can get to picking up a tramp from the street, asking him what size of boots he is and if he can play up front.

A lot of us had a problem with Steven Pressley when he signed for Celtic. A lot Never Loved Elvis. It wasn’t a surprise when he signed. WGS had gave us enough indications of the ‘team player’ he liked. The manager showed his sinister streak when he appointed Elvis captain for a visit to Swinecastle.

Looking back, without any bitterness whatsoever about him being captain in the first place , it was a massive GIRUY to the Maroon Meanies who hate everything that we stand for and for a bonafide club legend – his picture was hanging in the home stand at the time – to lead us to a 2-1 victory (and be a rock during the gemme like he had been so many times for them) then salute the Celtic support must have been like them being force feed a $hit sandwiched served with added $hit.

Makes me sad that I didn’t enjoy it more at the time.

Elvis the manager has had a rocky ride. The more bird brained in the Falkirk support wanted him sacked after relegation from the SPL in the 2010 and failure to win promotion the following season. The only reason he didn’t get the sack was probably the clubs lack of funds to pay him off and get a replacement willing to work with a team that resembles Fagans gang .

One of their first team squad – Steven Kingsley – is ‘winching’ a girl that stays in my street. I see him walking her home from school. I remember in the good old days 1st division defenders would have left bigger $hites in the cludgie than him and the old been-around-the-block-wingers would eat him as a between meal snack.

Begs the question that if they all resemble him then how are they 2nd in the SFL, in the Scottish Cup 5th round and managed to beat R*ngers and DuNT on the way to the Semi Finals of this cup?

Is Elvis really a genius? Are they just that young they haven’t been gripped by the FEAR? We have previous in games like this (I’m sure someone will remind us about that)

The b*ggers even had the cheek to draw 2-2 with Raith Rovers in their last gemme. Are they trying to take the proverbial already?

The Ugly

I wasn’t on message when Fergus McCann went to war with Jim Farry and Co over the need to refurbish Hampden. Fergus said it was a waste of money while CP and IPOX were in the city. I thought we needed a national stadium due to the diminishing status of the Scottish gemme and that a super dooper stadium would mask that we were pretty crap at football.

Fergus was kind off right. The SFA got it ALL wrong.

Hampden is a dump. The only part they got right was the South Stand. The East and West stands are too far away from the goals. In the North Stand you get a fine view but the facilities and leg room lend to the feel of a cheap job. The need to pay for the facility sees two games being played on consecutive days in the middle of winter this weekend. The park hasn’t got a history of being a bowling green to start with.

While the Ayrshire Troglodytes will see the culture of physical violence and random acts of shin worrying as fantastic Saturday afternoon entertainment, I would rather see a bit of football being played.

The weather, the pitch and both managers saying that semi finals are ‘fraught’ affairs mean that we are getting conditioned for an instantly forgettable slog in not the best conditions.

We’re On The Run

A winning streak is far better than a losing streak. This winning streak has gone on so long that we have started looking at other winning streaks and are muttering: “We’ll have that”.

We have won 12 games in a row. This out does our winning streak in 2006/07 when Gordon Strachan saw us win 11  in a row. That run saw us beat R*ngers 2-0 with goals through Thomas Gravesan and Kenny Misser (in hindsight that was a strange day), a memorable 14 minute hat-trick for Nakamura at Tannadice and was ended by Hibs with a 2-2 draw.

Lennon has equaled Strachans best of 12 wins in a row, which WGS achieved in 2008/09.This run started after a shocking 4-2 defeat against Them at CP when Pendro Mendes was voted the greatest player EVER and was ended – AGAIN- by Hibs via a John Rankin ‘Squiggler’.

Saint Martin Of O’Neill got 14 in 2001/02. This was impressive as it included two wins – home and away – against them, John Hartson scored his first goal for Celtic against Dundee United (then went on to score two more) and this was ended with the a bizarre 2-0 defeat at The Rhodders when The Sheep played British Bulldog from corners.

I’m also putting Lennon in here at 16 wins in a row. These were spread over two seasons but…..I’m forgoing that as these 16 wins showed Lennons mettle for the job.

The cherry on the tree though is Saint Martin Of O’Neills 2003/04 team winning 25 games in a row (they also went an incredible 32 games unbeaten and beat Barcelona that season also!).

So will we get that far? The next league game is against Hearts at Swinecastle. Unlucky 13 for Lennon?

£2m For Forster Now Seems Cheap

Are we seeing the birth of a goalkeeper that is going to rack up a couple of hundred games for the club? I mentioned ‘Packie’ earlier in the week who made 682 appearances and Forster who at 23 could easily spend 10 years at the club. He probably won’t, as is the want of the board.

Since he arrived the big lad from Hexham has had 33 shut outs compared to McSh*gger’s 30. If I was using the Daily Record Transfer Fee Valuation Calculator then surely we have a £7m goalie on our hands who IS available for £2m!

The loan move was meet with groans. Most wanted us to go for a young Pole who is warming the bench in Belgium. While I understood WHY the coaching staff were quite willing to take Double F back (he knew the club and the club knew him and his weaknesses) I was also quite open to the talk that he was only filling the gloves until Craig Gordon was signed on a bosman. Not now.

It’s an over-reaction to say we have a THE ONE between the sticks. The pleasing thing is the progress he has made this season. He has found his voice. There was times when he seemed mute last season and earlier on this season.

The difference is he is now making the eye catching saves that win points.

His penalty save from Eggart Jonnson in the dying minutes of Game 6 in this incredible run was the start. We then went on to face the mighty Udinese Calcio who were flirting with the top of Serie A at that point and still are. When we visited The Friuli only Arsenal and Milan had come away with the bottoms in tact.

We were also facing Antonio Di Natalie a 5 foot 5 pocket rocket who is Serie A’s resident ‘Capocannoniere’. Aye, Double F thwarted them all. His double saw from Di Natalie ensured a point and was as good as anything The Holy Goalie EVER did.

Dundee United at home. A save from a Jon Daly header had begun to seem routine. The Blaugrane Buddies offside Paul McGowan flicked a shot goal wards but found the big man unbelievably up to the task.

His confident performances have out us at ease with spending £2m on him. That’s the biggest recommendation we can give.

He has become my favourite Geordie since Spender.

The Attacking Trident

There was moans about Lennon’s starting line up but I will ALWAYS want game changers on the bench. Having Tony Stokes and a lean, fit looking Kristen Arran Commons to come on was a crumb of comfort when we were struggling in the second half. We have been drawing at half time in 6 of the last 11 games. Having aces on the bench is a winner.

Last season no one could handle the attacking trident of Hooper, Stokes and Commons. This season we have seen Forrest replace Commons with a healthy 8 goals from the wing and we have- sort off – seen the rebirth of Samaras.

The rebirth of Samaras has come about with him floating about on the wing and us firing what I call the ‘Sammyball’ to his head in certain games (most away games). This tactic has been tried and has failed every time he moves into the middle.

He now needs to compete with Forrest and Commons for a wide attacking berth. Two impressive cameos from Commons in recent weeks could see him reduced to the role of game changer.

This could set him back. He needs to be loved and his recent run of starts –  sometimes you do wonder what he has done to deserve it though you understand when you see the shape of the team WHY he is picked – was the managers way of doing this.

What do we do now? I go back to the bench and I would rather have Commons coming off the bench than Samaras. Forrest and Hooper are undroppable. Stokes, Sammy and Commons are fighting for one spot.

Interesting times.

My Illogical Dislike For A SPL Journeyman Figure

This week it’s Dougie Imrie (the face of Herpes). I have already had a go at his selective memory but after watching the game he really I need to have a go at him THE PLAYER.

He had a decent game. He’s comfortable on the ball, he can see a pass and he also seems to find himself in decent positions, which gives the impression of some sort of intelligence. For £35,000 he is a decent signing and a bargain. It’s a sad state of affairs when Dundee United, cup winners as recent as 2 years ago, can’t afford a player THAT would improve them but a club that is financially hamstrung as St Midden can .

Still, like all twisted faced narks he suffers from small man syndrome. His clip on Ledley in the first half then his assault on Scott Broon proved this. His tackle on Broon was especially in the bad taste of a poor loser as it happened when we were 2-0 up.

So, Dougie joins Robbie Neilson in my own personal Room 101.

It has been sensationally revealed that Rangers Football Club may have opened offshore accounts in the dogs names: – Lassie, Shep, Beethoven, Sultan, Gnasher, Bolt and Scooby Doo. This proves not only is Ally McMoist (with fries) barking mad, so is their accountancy division.

Not they have an accountancy division and if they did it would probably look like the mad hatters tea party crossed with some sort of a fight scene from middle earth. Craig Whyte believes his solicitors have the pedigree (chum) to give a good defence, in that case I ponder the thought why they are not the starting backline for the gers and they are that thin on the ground that it is beyond dis-belief that Ally has not drafted them in.

Meanwhile in the ever assertive world of football the press has been turning the screw on a un-inventive tale of James Forrest being touted to Spurs. Harry Redknapp did not say much on the case but I believe he did state he thought “James Forrest was a wee tiny chihuahua who could have opened another offshore account” for him.

In no way is Jamesy going to Spurs to sit on the bench behind Aaron Lennon and co and never get a game. He wants to stay at Celtic, he has Celtic in his soul and I believe if he does leave to another club it will not be for many a year yet. I have mucho respecto for the little lad who loves playing his footy for us and I hope he goes on and gets better and better as the season unfolds.

In the terms of bolstering our front line, such names as Yann Kermorgant, Jason Roberts and Ricardo Fuller have been mentioned but one name in particular gave me food for thought.

Spanish ‘bigman’ Jorge Molina currently at Real Betis has been linked with our club. The 29 year old striker stands at 6ft 2″ tall and can push his weight about if needed, and it is needed for us. We need an extra dimension to our play and when Hoops, Stokes and Sammy are knackered or the latter being in one of his “Cant be ar$ed” moods he could definitely give us another edge to our play.

Molina is a goalscorer, I will be honest he is not exactly prolific but can be more than capable of hitting the net when its needed. At 29 he may look to move abroad and try out another style or essence of a different footballing culture, he certainly fit the bill.

Here is a video of him in action scoring against Barcelona:-

In another news bite, the type that hacks bite hands off for is the consistant touting by the press of Gary Hooper to clubs. Will these presshogs never learn, as soon as one bit of gossip is knocked down on one of our players they move onto the player on the next rung of the Celtic ladder. Again Gary Hooper is here for the cause and will not be going anywhere, he knows he is loved by the club, has a great standing position at the club, Lenny loves the bhoy and so do most of us in bucket loads.

I believe he has the potential to be a world beater and dare I say it looking towards a Larsson-esque goalscoring talented man he could become if he stayed with us and I believe he will. Lennon was right saying if Andy Carroll is worth £25 million so is Hooper. Hooper is a battler and a goalscorer, fights thick and thin and gives his all.

I cannot remember one match where I said to myself “Hooper looked lazy out on the pitch today”, that is an honesty he gives us out on the pitch and with 88 on his back, goals in the net and a partner in Stokes, Sammy, Bangura or otherwise we will be looking at a prospective silverware windfall coming our way.

It is also a delight to say that we welcome new Bhoy on the block, Rabiu Ibrahim to our squad list. He has been given a work permit and hopefully on the news given to us by Lenny, he will be definitely one to watch in our ranks. He should, like Bangura, be knocking on the door of the starting line-up and a 3 and a half year contract states that he is here with us for a long while yet.

Comments as always are welcome Bhoys and Ghirls???

“Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” REALLY?

When your stadium is here. I really do hope the DJ – who has previous for being an unfunny b*wbag -was being ironic. Mind you, he needs some brain cells for that. Still, great public relations to give the FANS who give your club one of their most lucrative paydays a bit of abuse.

We went to the Methadome yesterday (the home end was empty AS USUAL, the travelling support gave the mutant residents plenty of new motors to tan) and while the Blaugrane Buddies came out with the plaudits we left with the points.

Job done.

I have only seen the BBC Highlights so a more fuller and comprehensive 5 Facts, Findings and Thoughts will be posted over the next few days once I watch the game in full. I was working you see and had to rely on the wireless or The Tranny (if you still work in old money) for the commentary.

It was as enjoyable as being forced to eat a tramps cardboard box.

We had two co-commentators. Ex-Celt Jim Goodwin and Celtic Legend Pat Bonner. Before I get to my point……BEWARE, I may just now and further on in this blog, which HAS very LITTLE to do with our 12th win in a row – apart from the video of 2 delightful goals –  cast scorn and doubt on players that are classed as Legends at our club.

Jock Steins last signing went on to play 642 games for the club but is remember for very little due to an impressive Italia 90 and a penalty save in the Stadio Luigi Ferraris from – the aptly named Daniel TIMofte – and, for me, despite it being a fantastic memory for all of the Republic somewhat belittles what he did for Celtic. In fact it’s that MASSIVE that I can’t remember anything he did for Celtic.

Though, I do think he could have done better here  to stop Salvatore ‘Toto’ Schillaci scoring his 4th of 5 Italia 90 goals.

My point – though somewhat lost – was that due to the fraught nature of the game, I found myself being unable to distinguish the Irish brogues of Paddy and Jim. At times I found myself getting angry at the perceived anti-Celtic comments from what I thought was Packie only to find it was Jim. Off course after the event why I should be getting annoyed at a St Midden player giving out pro St Midden comments is beyond me.

When ‘Wee Jamsey‘ scored, I let out a joyus ‘Yelp’ (I was only stopped from jumping due to my headphones being wrapped round a table leg due to the hidden nature of The Wireless)  that caused most of the office to jump and for me to get a snide look from my Bluenose Bearette of a boss who is gin-soaked and permanently set for vibrate.

They knew. I didn’t care.

The description of Broonies lovely 2nd didn’t do it justice. His celebration was barely mentioned.

I could then settle to dwell on a few things THAT annoyed me before the game.

The Blaugrane Buddies new signing, Dougie Imrie (the face of herpes), used the usual ‘small minded’ rhetoric in an interview before hand talking about ‘getting in our faces’ and casting up his last game against us. It was a 1-1 draw at New Douglas Park and he said ‘they got a last minute penalty, which wasn’t a penalty.’ 

I take it he forgot about Simon Mensing being offside for their goal, Wee Jamsey being harshly sent off – though this was evened up – and Niall McGinn being wrongly booked for diving – stonewall penalty – a few minutes before we were awarded a penalty for Izzy being taken out at WAIST HEIGHT, a challenge that saw Mensing sent off.

Anyway….let’s push things forward they are getting bored at the back.

Billy McNeill. Cesar. The MAN that saw us past FC Zurich, FC Nantes, FC Vojvodina, Dulka Prague and then Inter Milan. He’s now writing for a tabloid, hopefully for cash and not for principal. He was talking about that we could now field three sides with the size of the squad we have.

I HATE this myth.

Yes, we have a large first team squad. It’s huge. It’s bloated but we can’t field three teams. Why? Easy. We have Juarez, Thompson, Towell, O’Dea, Rasmussen and Murphy ALL out on loan to – wait for THIS- OTHER CLUBS, which mean that they can’t play for us. We also have players injured. The ‘teams’ that we are supposed to be able to send out are also unbalanced and look pretty $hit.

Maybe it’s because I can remember the bombast that greeted something similar when The Little Dick took over at Ipox. We had the one team for the SPL and one team for the qualifying rounds of The Big Cup. I find us being the subject of these types of articles distasteful.

When THEY did it, it was to ensure they reminded us and them of their (supposed) superiority. That is not us. We don’t and have no will to behave like Harry Enfields legendary Loadsamoney. Now, the shoe is on the other foot. We are the ones on a financial sound basis but have been unable to convert that into on field success. We can NEVER get it right.

It’s an uncomfortable feeling that the only thing we can gloat over now is money and the lack of it in the Southside. I’m feckin glad that our team are going around it the right way to put this right.  Yes, hopefully that bitch called Karma will deal her cards but…….I want us to be TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS so they have no comeback and we don’t need to be reduced to waving fivers, tenners and bantering over simple arithmetic.

Finally…….(stop cheering at the back)

Another MYTH to dispel.

The Sheep yesterday only picked up their 2nd point in their last 18 visits to Glesga. We have been drowning in the sound that they only try against them. The last time The Sheep won at Ipox was in 1991. Since that time they have won at CP 3 TIMES. Two consecutive visits in 2004 and in the cup in 2008.

Maybe they only try against us, eh?

Here’s the goals from yesterday.

szólj hozzá: St. Mirren v Celtic 0:2 GOALS

The ‘Punters Friend’ gives the provisional squad as this:

Forster, Matthews, Rogne, Mulgrew, Izaguirre, Commons, Brown, Wanyama, Ledley, Samaras, Stokes, Ki, Hooper, Forrest, Zaluska, Kelvin Wilson, Mark Wilson, Loovens, Majstorovic, Cha, McCourt, Keatings.

May I be the first to say that is a strong looking squad.

Commons – returned last week to GREAT effect – FIFA ranked James Forrest seems, on the face of it, to be the only headache the manager has that I can see. We can take on the Blaugrana Buddies at football. Their manager has principals and unlike certain others won’t change his teams approach (yes, I’m looking at you Mr McCall).

So here is my team in a 4-2-3-1 formation. What is yours?

The Good

It’s always good going into a game on an unbeaten run, getting important players back from injury and with confidence seeping out of every living, man, women, child, dog, cat and goldfish that has a Celtic bone in it’s body.

Usually, this would see me as pessimistic as a Lib Dem MP at re-election time (which I will be later on but this the time a look at the GOOD) as all runs come to an end but can I see this one coming to an end on Saturday lunchtime?

Naw. There is the hex. Right there. Three little letters.

We have players in form. A manager who is approaching 100 games in charge – with a win rate of 73% – saw us blow a lead last season- in typical circumstances and in typical surroundings – and saw his Mowbray Moment stare and laugh in his face already this season.

We are now top of the league. 33 out of 33 points. We are smoking, Joe.

We have an aggregate score of 8-0 against St Midden this season with Gary Hooper scoring 5 of these goals. He also scored a last minute winner at New St Midden Park last season (after a bit of Paddy magic). Hoops looked sharp last week and as long as his head hasn’t been turned then my lunch money is going on him scoring again. Lennon is also unbeaten against St Midden and they haven’t scored a goal against us with him in charge.

Though it hasn’t always been pretty – see the aforementioned 1-0 slogfest – we have always taken 3 points. What can possibly go wrong?

The Bad

The above is all too good? Where is that train? Is it running a bit late or is that light we are really seeing at the end of a 3 season long tunnel?

St Mirren are a strange lot. In that pack who are looking at the top 6 but are doing their level best not to get into it. Last week’s trip to Swinecastle saw them get royally Skaceled  despite playing against 10 men for 3 quarters of the game. They – like The Marnocks – are condescendingly treated by the press for attempting to play football, trying to be the Blugrana Buddies if you wish.

This still comes at a shock to the wider Scottish populace  brought up on a diet of shin worriers and licensed thugs.

In Paul McGowan, Steven Thompson, Nigel Hasselbaink and Gary Teale they have household names – at least to those that read the Metro – who on paper should trouble all SPHell defences. Their biggest result this season was beating them 2-1 at the Fergielee Camp. Despite their recent woes the chance to beat us – getting another DVD release opportunity – ending our run and getting a massive Celtic sized monkey of their back is, really, enough reason for them to be fired up.

The Ugly  

Ok, are you buckled in? Here is my rant.

This has really nothing to do with the game but it has everything to do with the game or more the OUTCOME of this game and the others we have coming up, which will see us go to our two hardest away grounds – do I really need to say what they are? alright then: Inversenkie and Swinecastle – in quick succession and by the end of it we could be behind in the league, out the Community Crime Cup – is that a long shot? remember Ross County (Sky will remind us often enough) – and out the Scottish Cup.

From the treble to Armageddon in 3 weeks. Haven’t we had enough of that woe this season already, can we not be spared?

With us willing to be spared we get desperate. The news that Baba Diawarra had signed for Seville – something that HASN’T happened (though we won’t be signing him) – cause more than a few cases of Roberto Mancini vigorous card waving in the direction of our CEO.

Yes, we had the chance to sign the player and YES the visa excuse has been proved to be rubbish but I can’t help feel the outrage about not signing a player that 99% of us haven’t got a clue what he is about is over the top. This reaction is borne from The Fletcher Farce Of 2009.

We all know how that one ended. He’s scored 9 goals in 17 games (in the greatest league in the world(sic)) and we haven’t won the league since.

While galling and annoying it’s not the only reason we have failed. I’m over not getting Fletcher. That’s finished it’s dead to me. I’m not going to lose sleep on not getting a player ever again. It’s just a stupid notion when the global world of football is now so small and players nomadic.

I’m not bothered we didn’t get Diawarra I’m more bothered about that we seem to have been shoddy- again – in taking care of business. For every good thing we do, we seem to balance it up by seemingly coming over all bumbling, thrifty and amateur.

In the summer we had the choice. Whoever made that choice went for  Bang Bang who has only started 1 game and not scored yet. The coaching staff seem as enthused as a wean who asked for a puppy but got a kitten about him. I’m not writing the player off. He has been disappointing and that is me being generous. Rome wasn’t built in a day though (they say).

The whole Diawarra situation has made it as predictable as a Mrs Brown Boys gag to write Bang Bang off as another Sebo. It’s easy to dismiss but not as easy to give people time.

And that is what I’m calling for. TIME.

We need a 3rd striker (I have been saying that for months) . We have Hooper with 16 goals. We have Stokes with 15 goals and then Samaras with 3. Forrest has chipped in with 7 and we have Commons returning. That is not enough though but those riches mean that we are not desperate and shouldn’t be panicking.

We need a different option but maybe not THE final option, maybe NOT the answer and maybe JUST someone to do a short term job.

I’m thinking a Dion Dublin type.

This whole situation is like that time I wanted a top of the range BMX bike. I got up on Christmas morning knowing full well that I wasn’t getting that bike. I got a BMX bike and it was a bike I knew was the best we could afford. Did I enjoy that bike any less because it wasn’t that fancy one with the shiny wheels, front and back jump pegs and top of the range brakes?

No I didn’t. I loved that bike and was even more thankful a year later when I got the mountain bike I wanted.

The next 2 weeks are as important off the park as they are on.

Still let us forget all that and just stay that little bit jumpy and grumpy, shall we?

We were caught out by “The Squigglier Part II: The Revenge”. Another John Rankin inspired hit and hope that ended up in the back of the net (via the post). Our Geordie stopper was blameless just like against The Marnocks. Queue the groans, the moans and panic level of an Italian captain.

Apart from a Jon Daly header, our opponents never laid a glove on us in the last 30 minutes. 30 minutes. Not the 5 or so minutes The Marnocks had to grab an equaliser but 30 whole, long minutes. We manned up, we saw it out.

We would all love to play the silky football we saw in the first half. But….in our run (which the only team we haven’t defeated is The Sheep) we have shown a willingness to don the overalls and get dirty. That’s what was needed when we slipped 15 points (albeit with 2 games in hand) behind.

Keep winning, keep winning, keep winning.

If that’s not good enough for some – off course we need to wear fancy suits (that’s our history and heritage) but we blew that luxury when we were 3 down at The Marnocks and drawing at home against relegation haunted Hibs – then they should find something else to do.

2) When we were taking part in the “Battle Of Balmoor” I was impressed by Scott Broons charity work. He showed the assorted carpet fitters, Postmen and painters that one day you could get lucky and land a £28,000 a week contract. He was like a living and breathing lottery advert. It could be you.

While the Ledleys, Victors and Chicos of this world were rolling up the sleeves when we were pegged back our captain was noticeable by his absence. Which is surprising as a few weeks back, when he strolled on to the park against the Jam Farts, he completely bullied, bossed, galvanized and carried the team.

He added nothing ability wise. It was ALL personality. Now we can add economics as the reason he gets picked.

3) Yes, we do seem to make things difficult for ourselves. It is in the genes ( if you know our history eh?) but……how good was Charlie Mulgrew? The twin Terrors of Daly and Russell were blunted by a performance that reached the heights we all should inspire too.

The other night I was watching Wigan. Shaun Maloney was no where to be seen. It was then that the reason (discounting ability) why Mulgrew has been so successful in every role he has been asked to play for us hit me.

Attitude. If Chicos attitude was a movie it would be Die Hard.

4) The Dead Tree Press have got fed up trying to punt Jellyandicecreamvic for a club saving £10m and are now trying to sell Gary Hooper on the cheap to The Saints that sail round The Hamptons.

Hoops scoring rate for us is 0.68 goals per game. The Eastern European war crime lookalikey is 0.75 goals per game. This can be safely put down to penalties.

So, is £6m a decent offer or should we be holding out for the unobtainable £10m?

This is another case of simple economics (see Scott Broon) except this time ability get added to the mix. Our shopping bag states: “Value for money” and we have certainly got that from Hoops. Now, it’s time to pay him what he is worth.

5) With Peter Houstesticle serving a suspension in the stand (hopefully for being a massive bellend) my gaze focused on a long haired, slightly tubby and flatfooted full back whom we had meet before as my illogical hate figure (it’s illogical as the person could be really a nice guy, but we make judgments on them as we are allowed to make judgments on them that are unchallengeable cause fitba’ isnny the real world) that all football fans have for 90 mins or longer.

Robbie Neilson played as if he was charging around screaming: “I’m Robbie Neilson, I used to play for Hearts you know, which makes me very important!” while his look (sic) was inspired by Rik Mayal in Bottom.

What a f*d.