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The Diary suggests that Ikar Casillas is Espana’s weak link.

We are told this morning that Aiden has “now formally told” Celtic that it’s time to leave and it “will spark a £10m bidding war”. No word on how he told the club. Maybe he stuck a bit of paper under the front door or sent a carrier pigeon to Neil Lennon. Nah, Aiden would be a text man and it would have a been a “m aff :-(”

Spartak “remain confident they can get their man” for “a fee in the region of £10m” but want to pay us in instalments. They are not dealing with Littlewoods we should tell them.

“It will be difficult to replace him but one player doesn’t make a team.” mused Bertie Auld while looking like one of those wooden heads whose mouth flap open and shut, while cackling with  demonic laughter, at those fairground stalls where you have to try and throw a ping pong ball into it’s open mouth.

They need some entertainers” he continued as numerous weans fired ping ball balls at him in the vain attempt to win a goldfish that would be dead by the weekend. I reckon we need some players that don’t wander around the field like dossil highland cattle posing for a shortbread tin.

In a Pharaoh twist Ittihad board member, Sherif Al-Lelw, proves that no-one has shot him by claiming “Celtic have offered £600,000 to loan Gedo (Mohammed Nag) for next season”. The lack of Irish blood and those who have witnessed Mido mean that this surely is what can be termed a flyer or a long range shot with a Jabulani.

The press seem also obsessed with our hunt for “a replacement for Robbie Keane” and we are told that while Bolton are the “favourites” to sign Everton Striker James Vaughan our offer of “a season long loan” which “may suit Everton” as they want to see him action as he has only turned out 46 times for them since 2004.

Finally, did any of us really believe the Martin O’Neill rumour and John Terry is a dog.

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