Albinos, Exodus and the word Rumour

I love a good rumour me and I’ve always been the same no matter the source. I remember when I was 17 years old I heard a belter from the most reliable source of all (my Dad).

Roy Orbison was an albino he informed me that had pure blonde hair and pink eyes, only masked by the fact that he dyed his locks jet black and wore the big shades to match. In fact such was my fathers persuasiveness this rumour became fact in my mind and I was soon relating my wisdom to all the women in the factory I was working in. Eight cans of juice were the bet and a letter was sent into the Daily Rangers Showbiz Sam. Soon enough I was supplying the old hags with liquid refreshment as Sammy basically ridiculed me in print (funny how Sammy’s have the ability to piss you off…)

But that was when your Uncle Buck was only 17, now I’m much more gullible and easily confused. Don’t tell Peter Lawwell though he’ll take advantage. But yes its me and I’m back to talk crap with you every Wednesday after wooing you in my little blog-sitting spell last week. Now I’ve got the gig though I can reveal my real persona so cuddly Uncle Bucks oot the windae, got it.

So rumours, rumours, rumours. More rumours of Celtic comings and goings than actual players deserting Mordor…just…Bellamy, Keane, Stokes, Lawrence, Kanu, O’Hara, James, Speroni to name a few. Of course we won’t and can’t get them all but like a wee boy picking something off every page in the catalogues toy section at Christmas I’m praying we’ll get our main prize(s), which has to be Bellamy or Keane (both would just be outrageous and would mean no presents on our birthday). The pursuit of the Welsh heidcase/maniac/genius won’t be helped with the ridiculous collar on the new hoops jersey though. For anyone thats forgotten, Craig liked to rip off the offending material like a crazed leek fueled incredible hulk in his last spell at the club. Talks are at an advance stage is the rumour here however and the leek’ed Celtic away jersey minus collar is surely a pointer to this.

Such are the rumours that have surrounded Robbie Keane in his career I think he would have made the bench off my all time Celtic dream team even if he hadn’t come in February. Some of our greatest ever signings have never worn the jersey actually and will go down in folklore as being icons of the support such will the fantasy and truth be married through the mists of time. “That Chico Charnley wis a real diamond and was probably the greatest ever non-captain that hated the huns”. Keano proved that dreams can come true though so just stop fannying about and get back up the road Robbie bhoy you won’t be loved elsewhere.

Anthony Stokes is another rumour that has me torn as we try to create the best Irish and Welsh 5-a-side team Lennoxtown has ever seen. I think Murphy might need to go in the nets though. Stokes is one of these guys that slapped us in the coupon as he headed for the bright lights of Las England only to find he had been duped and to return north with his tail between his legs. Do we give him a second bite at the Big Apple or has his Time Squared at Easter Road (I have no idea what that means either). Well I’m leaning towards giving him another chance as I think he would be prolific in Paradise and if the rumours are to be believed Rasmussen, Fortune and Samaras are all available for transfer. Will any of them be missed, probably not.

This takes us on nicely to the rumour that half the team have been telt ‘thanks for your lack of effort now piss off” Today we hear Hinkel has been told not to be fussy with the caller i.d. while Caddis and Ferry are set for Swindon. This has rankled some in Celtic cyberspace who think Andreas was one of our better players last season. Being one of the better players was easy but still wasn’t good enough. Your position has been filled already by a Mexican and the most terrifying Korean I’ve ever seen, time to go and be quite good sometimes somewhere else I think. Caddis I’m afraid will have the words ‘never let us down’ (which is code for did OK when he got the chance without really looking like he would set the four leafed clovers on fire) engraved on his headstone. Paul you tried your best but again its time to move on and its probably best for your career, see you at Hibs, Hearts, Aberdeen, or DUFC in two years time. On the other hand Ferry is just one of these guys playing in a position that you need to be truly outstanding in to make the grade at Celtic Park, chances were limited but thats the big leagues son, hope it works out well for you wherever you end up.

Who else might go ? who knows really but I think most players will have realised by now that its Lennon’s MON way or the highway. I think we as a support need to stop being sentimental about Celtic players like the junkie mate we have that was a top bloke at school. No matter how much you want them to be something else they’ll always let you down. Its time to just cut loose and move on with our lives in separate directions.

Lennon MUST build his own team and crush the rest this season as the mass exodus of rats on the other side of the city is getting to biblical proportions. We can’t be complacent but I think the rumour of a big thunder-storm brewing from within Parkhead has me as excited as I have been in a very long time.

Harper