Well hello, howya and your very welcome to my very first day on the Celtic Blog. Please be gentle with me.
Hang on, I hear you say, Who’s this ?
Well you should just think of me as your Celtic minded version of Uncle Buck, the relative that you can’t stand that’s been sent along to blog-sit you for the next three days, the guy you hate but will fall in love with by the end of his stay. I promise you this, by Sunday evening we’ll all be snuggled up on the couch together eating cereal straight from the box like we’re American’s that have never heard of milk. If your wondering where your usual host ‘the diary’ and the self proclaimed Scottish version of Vanilla Ice (according to his debut on the HomeBhoys/LostBhoys podcast) is, well its his wedding anniversary today (sorry ghirls and some bhoys mibbe?) so he’s headed off to celebrate and to headline a gig where he will be free-styling 8 mile style with all lyrics dedicated to his Mrs. Uncle & Aunty Buck will also be celebrating their wedding anniversary this weekend, but as I was compared to a fat Jimmy Sommerville on the podcast and not some rhyming genius like Mr Ice I wasn’t invited along to deliver my beats. As if Jimmy potato-head would have a wife or steal from Queen anyway…not THE Queen of course, we all know what club is mired in that taxing controversy (allegedly).
OK lets get down to business…(or the lack off)
So if what I hear is true the latest Johnny come Ledley is now gawna sign on in Paradise (you see what I did there? your warming to me already, I can tell) on Monday and enter the revolving door that ultimately leads to the Riverside. So what do we know about Joe Ledley? He’s Welsh, prominently plays on the left, wears a wooly hat in the middle of summer while inside Glasgow airport and not a lot else really. I mean I’ve never seen him play, that I can recall with any great meaning. I watched half an hour of the play-off final and if I knew then what I know now I would have watched an entire half. I think he might even have scored for Cardiff that day but I couldn’t tell you how he played etc etc. There is also a good chance I seen him perform against Celtic last pre-season but again, who knew. After seemingly endless daily flights to Glasgow it looks like he has picked us over our now familiar transfer adversaries in the mould of garbage EPL teams, namely Stoke City this time and I think there was also a whisper about West Brom being in the hunt. Listen, he’s free much to the despair of his former employers so let’s just see how it goes and say welcome to Parkhead son, yer in for a treat because that outside left position is right beside the new vuvuzela we hate singing brigade. Oh! also, Joe is in fact Welsh for Joe and means he who likes to fly and take his time.
I must confess to penning some of this last night and in between then and now I’ve had a trip to casualty after damaging my shoulder. So the following is through a drug addled haze which leads me on perfectly to GQ style icon Jimmy the Bullard. My source tells me (twitter, same as everybody else) that this will be a double parade on Monday as Tony Hamilton prepares to fling whatever it is they fling into the flames to produce the white smoke over Celtic Park. Whatever it is it certainly ain’t cash because I’m beginning to sense we are trying to build a team with July specials ‘get one free get them all free’ vouchers that can only be used south of the border. Derry City must be breathing a huge sigh of relief. I’m drifting though from the subject matter and I can reveal today categorically that Jimmy is actually named Bullard by birth and wasn’t renamed after resembling a concrete block spending all his time not moving in the Hull City stand last season. Jimmy is an all action, all singing, all dancing dynamic midfielder when fit and he will be a useful addition to the team if he’s put his injury woe’s behind him and if not there’s always the X-Factor.
So thats Ledley and Bullard in to take us up to midfielders 20 and 21 in the squad although they can be assured they won’t be joined by any of the trialists. There’s more chance of a rain free weekend at T in the Park than a trialist ever being offered anything more than a flight home from Lennoxtown. It’s amazing how players can look so good playing for their own clubs but then muck it all up playing 5-a-sides in Glasgow.
Go on Liam Boyce prove me wrong son.
The Difene and Tylex has worn off now and if this was worth reading or not remember I’m only here for three days and three nights, while typing left-handed and breaking all my previous pain thresholds at that. Please don’t torpedo the Celtic Blog because of yer old uncle’s way of things and just to help you come round to me a little bit more, I’m going to take us all to McDonalds for breakfast in the morning. Just don’t tell the diary when he gets home. Oh and bring a chamois leather.
TheHat
“get one free get them all free” will be on Peters gravestone.