The Diary knew this day would come….
In research for this 500 odd word rambling, copy and pasting delight The Diary trawls through hundreds and maybe thousands of the printed prose by those who think they are qualified to speak about our bueatifulish game.
In those dark hours spent in the company of the trolls I haven’t seen many positive headlines concerning us or the SPL. In between reading about, ahem, leading SPL lights being told hey will “sparkle in the Championship” or clubs making “pledges” that they won’t be able to keep The Diary feels the overriding negativity of Celtic’s quest to turn the SPL into the new MLS – but without the sun or David Beckham – by offering EPL players, at the end of their careers either the chance to win things or to wind down easily and still top up their pension with a decent wage.
The scornful notion that Lennon will “happily welcome him (James) to Glasgow for a look around as he did Sol Campbell, Jimmy Bullard and Joe Ledley” is laid down with a sneer as if it’s wrong to show players what you have to offer other than greenbacks.
Sol may decided that marital bliss, less travel and the worship of the Bare Chested and Beer Bellied Geordie Nation is the correct path for him. Bullard has now taken a bang on the head making him think he is the love child of Pele and Maradona and is hiding out in storm drains in Hull until someone entices him out with some chicken, a can of lager, a pink pringle jumper, a copy of Wham’s greatest hits, a Blu-Ray DVD copy of the Breakfast Club and £75,000 a week.
What was wrong with getting them up and showing them around in the hope of appealing to their inner sportsmans desire to be successful and to play for a “club of some stature and esteem but their standing in the grander scheme of things is affected by their surroundings”.
Comments like that give you the distinct impression that some think we shouldn’t be bothering. The main problem seems to be the lack of private jets and grand gestures. We seem to be all persuasion and prudence. They won’t need to be buying Morrisons own brand Burbon Creams. It’s a fair wage they will still be, reportedly, getting. This spend will be covered on the balance sheet not just added to an supermassive black hole of an overdraft.
Maybe that is the problem.
It worked with Joe Ledley. Then we were told that we had exploited a ‘loophole‘ and space is given to arses like Peter Risdale to moan about not getting compensation while forgetting that he shouldn’t be allowed to look after a dead ferret nevermind a football club.
He has stripped more assets than KPMG that cuntbutler.
The fact that David James agent made contacted has been overlooked. “I contacted Celtic after what happened with Boruc and we are really just waiting for Lennon and Celtic to come back from America to see if it’s something we can progress.” mumbled David James 15% letting it being known to all that his client has a few days to spare before he “makes a decision on his future“.
This admittance has made James subject to some ridicule. “Being England’s finest goalkeeper is not much to brag about these days” surmised one hack, before highlighting “shoulder surgery and then a knee operation caused him to miss many of Portsmouth matches last season” making the keeper sound as virile as rickets ridden pensioner in a cold winter.
James may decide to take his afro the size of a small planet elsewhere. With Celtic living the dreams in public then The Diary fully expects this and any other knock backs to be describes as major blows. Celtic, since Robbie Keane, have done more for the SPL’s profile than all the other clubs put together.
The fact that Lennon has “signed five new players” has been meet with jaw dropping amazement in some quarters. His pronouncement that “you ain’t seen nothing yet” with Lennon expecting to get “updates on Sol Campbell, Jimmy Bullard, Liam Lawrence, Kelvin Wilson, Gary Hooper, Craig Bellamy and other signing targets” over the weekend.
This will be seen as a club flapping around like a fish on a riverbank. I’ll just report it as fecking exciting and worry about it all later.
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My initial reaction to the James rumour was “WTF !?”. Don’t get me wrong, he’d probably do a good job for us in the SPL. However, I’m pretty sure we could find someone younger, cheaper, just as good (if not better) with some re-sale value that doesn’t want the moon on a stick. He’s a total comedy figure into the bargain and anytime I’ve watched him play he looks like a disaster waiting to happen.
A sustained European campaign is, realistically, beyond us (again) this season so I don’t see the need for a big name keeper when, IMHO, Zaluska as no.1 and buying another decent keeper to give Cervi some competition would be enough. Really, there are other far more pressing issues, like sorting out the defence and finding a centre forward that can score goals.
It would be rude not to talk but while I think he would be an asset for the reason you state I would not be too sad to see him scaring spiders to death elsewhere.
Campbell though is one we need.