Coffee & Tv: Celtic V ICT: Highlights And Player Ratings. I Just Can’t Get Enough.

This is a bumper edition. Instead of getting highlights then ratings you are getting them all at once. I know that you all lead busy lifestyles so their is no need to thank me for being lazy and having, really, nothing to moan…….

Due to lack of interest I was removed from my usual perch in the crows nest. I found myself so low and so close the players that I’m sure I caught a whiff of Fraser Forsters musty jock strap in the rain. Being behind the goal I also had time to ponder if Shaun Maloney get’s a junior tracksuit when he is a sub.

Lenny called the performance “exceptional” and he had a point. Those more scholarly, or even those less scholarly, will notice that this new ‘pass and move’ wasn’t hampered by Scotchness.

“Saturday against St Mirren is more important to us, than this ever was” said Butcher flippantly after the defeat. Information Computer Tuetcherology looked like a self proclaimed big-boned person attending a Weight-Watchers meeting.

Dougie McDonald gave Celtic a penalty. It was a stonewaller and he didn’t have an option. His face was contorted like he was eating penguins testicles and he listened to Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nails ‘Hurt’ on the way home instead of Rick Astley.

The level I watched the game at gave me a different perspective of the work-rate of our team. Constant movement, with and without the ball. This performance was not in the same league as the turgid fare served up on Sunday.

Ledley confirmed he is worth more than the few sheckles and a Ugly Betty box-set wages that others are on.

Scoring a hat-trick would usually make you a stick on for MOTM. Not with Sammy. His game was laced with a nonchalant arrogance that only someone with that ability deep down inside can muster. His second goal summed up all that is good and all that is wrong with the player.

Gary Hooper is built like a barrel. Players roll off him and his intelligence sees him find space and his ability sees the pass. Fred Astaire feet for his goal and an understanding with Stokes that only well used library tickets brings. The Tokely’s of this world can’t handle brain matter over brawn.

The Murphy maybe bitter.

What can we say about Glenda? He had the look of someone who has been taken hostage and had to film a ransom demand. Someone pay and put him out his misery. Some Somalia pirates want an HD 42 inch widescreen.

So, who was top of the pops?

Fraser, wet dog, 5. Wilson, had to Sky Plus Ghost Whisper, 4. Danny, baby sitting duties, 5. Glenda, losing that loving feeling, 1. Mulgrew, background noise, 5.

Juarez, partyboy, 6. Ki, shuttle bus, nasty tackle, 6. Ledley, didn’t need a shower, 6. Crosas, CSA to pay, 2.

Hooper, please don’t have Porcelain Paddies luck, 8. Sammy, nicely trimmed hair and beard. Job Interview?, 7. Stokes, 3 in 2, 7. Shaun, night off, 2.

MOTM: Gary Hooper.

Next see’s John Hughes bring his melting ice creams to the table. Can’t see anything bar a comfortable few goal victory. Why, cause the sighting of a humping causes us to be as happy as a pig rolling around in excrement.

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