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Academic Player Ratings, Buffalos And Scott Brown.

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The Terrorism threat is not imminent, but the threat is constant” mumbled a Murdoch news reporter yesterday (it was something like that, I could be paraphrasing) regarding America’s announcement that travelling Americans, especially those in Europe, should take care in public places.

Our manager must have been feeling the same danger, not imminent but constant, on Saturday. ” We had to give it to them at half time” our manager grumped after a ‘slack‘ performance.

He may also be feeling it as our neighbours are being quite impressive, ok, as impressive as a bunch of excrement eating, pig-shagging, in-breeds can be. “Oh look they have learned how to walk, Bob. That’s progress Jim, wait until they can talk then we will be in bother.”

Why the ‘slack‘ performance? We are beginning to look like an A&E on a Saturday night. Loss of hair gel has seen Kayal and Lizzie MacGuire ruled out, we are missing, I mean really missing, James Forrest and Paddy McCourt and Thomas Rogne are held together by sellotape and bluetack.

Though injuries have affected our managers thinking some of the unforced changes have been puzzling. An element of keeping players happy perhaps?

Saturday, with injuries to Lizzie MacGuire and the Lampost most thought that Lidils Own Brand Jackie Mac, Mark Wilson, would play full back. Wilson is not the greatest player in the world but a game, at home, against Bottom Six Feeders, should have seen Blind One Legged Fred from the bookies, take to the field without much disruption to the team.

It would have caused less disruption than playing Joe Ledley there. Ledley is our best player. There I’ve said it. He’s the glue in the middle. Taking him out the middle leaves Scott Brown and Efrain Juarez fumbling about like two toddlers trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle.

Ki Sung Yung was tried there on Saturday. The problem with Ki, like Marc Crosas, is that intelligent footballers, don’t appeal to unintelligent watchers. Ki has a one-paced style that will see him wander through games, no matter if we winning 5 nil or losing 5 nil, at the same pace. He is the Magazine Rack footballer. Tidy and will always be in the corner doing a decent, un-noticeable job.

Up top we saw the a partnership that was vertically challenged and both were wearing ‘haud me in pants’. Hooper had a frustrating afternoon. Frustrating in the sense he was caught offside so often he was turning Australian. His partner Shaun played like a cat getting poked with a knitting needle.

He conjured up a free kick from old. Their was kids there on Saturday who had only been told that he could score a free-kick. They were often referred to the paintings in the Campsie Hills that showed small man with fat ar$e bending a ball round buffalos.

Still, that wasn’t enough to suppress Scott Brown who gave a MOTM performance of drive, determination, character and had a musk of former captains about it.

He still got booked. One swallow doesn’t make a summer.

The ratings:

Fraser, had to work for his wage, 8. Cha, a head shaving 6. Glenda, like a diplodocus wandering around looking for it’s mother, 0. Danny, steady, 6. Ledley, out of sorts, 4.

Juarez, early season promise has faded, 2. Brown, Scotland performance, 8. Ki, tidy, 7. Crosas, unnoticeable, 2.

Samaras, flakey scalp, 5. Hooper, rusty, 5. Maloney, sorcerers apprentice, 8. Stokes, unlucky to be benched, 2. Murphy, PIE, 2.

Welcome to Dating 2.0, the 21st Century way to make a date.

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  • mo says:

    bring back the samaras diares

    • lordofthewing says:

      Wrong site, mo. You can get a refund on the way out as long as you didn’t mess the carpets.

  • Pujol says:

    I’m not having that ‘8’ for Scott Brown.

    The 3rd goal came when he helped press a defender, but on another similar occasion he went through the guy, relieving the pressure completely. That’s him in a nutshell, it’s either sugar or shite, but you don’t know what’s coming next. Must be hellish to play beside.

    IMHO, so far, Neil Lennon has been Mr Sensible apart from sticking with the captain. Here’s hoping his constant praise and playing of SB is one long ad campaign for January.

    • lordofthewing says:

      @pujol

      He’s definently marmite. It’s interesting that since Lenny hasn’t highlighted him this week no one has mentioned his performance, which was far better this week than last.

      Lenny in mind games shock.

  • sixtaeseven says:

    The team still has a ropey look to it.

    Goalie – Fine

    Defense – Glenda shouldn’t be here and neither should Cha. Is Jos THAT bad? When’s Izzy back
    Keep Ledley in the middle, and put in a reserve full back, when one’s needed (surely we have somebody).

    Midfield – another stab at finding a combination that works? Crosas shouldn’t be here. Pity about Kayal.

    Frontmen – Stick with Stokes and Hooper. We’ve got Sami and Paddy-when-fit for impact. When’s Forrest back?

    Don’t feel that confident about the Hun game at the minute, just as well the rest of the SPL is crap.

  • lordofthewing says:

    The warning signs a out Jos were there when Johan never uttered a word about him.

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