Celtic tactics leaked

The replacement refs did come, so did the snow, fixtures done then Dougie Mac did go and who cares we are better off without that HO.

I decided to open with a little rhyme in the festive spirit but then a referee got involved and I was yellow carded but after some consultation with his linesman I got a 3 match ban and also I have to spend the rest of the football season sat in a cesspit with the loose women and Wagner from the X factor waxing each others un-mentionables.

(For those of you who don’t know who Wagner is think Lorenzo Amoruso and a mangy Afghan hounds offspring and you will be pretty close to what Wagner is. If you don’t know who the loose women are think of the quadruple outcome of a swingers party between the spice girls, the ninja turtles and lorenzo amoruso)

Before the exclusive news I have to reveal I found this brilliant piece of news in the BBC football gossip column: –

“Rangers forward Kyle Lafferty has apologised to manager Walter Smith after breaking his hand while clowning around coming off the team bus. (Sun)”

Does anybody think they left out the word “on” after the word “coming” on purpose in the above? It makes you wonder what predicament they had got in to lead to such a hand break, five finger shuffle marathon? or further more  were they playing twister on the team bus with the winner getting a go on Davie Weirs zimmer frame? Who knows?

In the wake of the great news that Dougie McDonald has hung up his whistle I can sensationally reveal an image of what the future holds for Celtics defensive and offensive tactics on free-kicks and corners.

This picture was revealed on the great Mark Crosas’ twitter to my utter amazement: –

As you can see this is obviously the ‘parachute break glass in case of emergency set piece’ method of how to get a clear head on the ball. Ironically its something we havn’t done for a wee while. A solid headed goal!

Notice the typical exquisite Catalonian balance of Crosas on Big Glenns shoulders, beautiful some might say. If I was Lenny I would be saying jeepers creepers Glenn don’t drop wee Mark now he will be out for months falling from that skyscraper height of your shoulders.

Since I have seen this image I hoped we would sign the big fella on the right in January to keep the defence fresh, but I believe due to weather conditions in Scotland in the summer, he would never come to Celtic ‘cos Glasgow is too f**k!ng cold for him. Regards to Mr Crosas for being a sport and letting us see his massive snowman.

Next stop Aberdeen where we might get a goal from a set piece?

At this point in the proceedings I now pass the wordily ‘microphone’ for you to shout your hearts out to whatever content.

Leave a Comment
Exit mobile version