Craig Makes Glasgow Move

Baldy headed, stocky bloke about 5ft 10 in height, kind of un-shaven, likes shiny tinsel, foil, coins and balls of string, yeh he swore at my camera.

Nevermind ‘Roon the Loon’ Ive been doing that for years. Everytime somebody brings a camera out and points it at me I tell em where to shove it and it isnt towards a nice place either.

Lunacy is rife. Walter Smith reported tonight this gem –

“We hope to have Madjid Bougherra and Lee McCulloch back within the next week or so,” he said.

Two lunatics, quite similar to a very speed, tramadol, cocaine filled Starsky and Hutch that have been created in a lab and had their genes spliced with every essence of tyrants of football and politics since the turn of time itself plus the slime from a dying slug covered in salt. In conclusion to my point I am a massive fan of their exploits, especially the bad ones concerning their injuries, plight, woe and their regular visits to transgender glaswegian pay-per-pumpers.

No wonder the gers are in so much debt with things like the above being credited for, nevermind the mention of Laffertys date already pencilled in for breast augmentation and Naismiths operation to remove the “you little f** ker” tag that follows him about, I think the latter will be unsuccessful as he was born that way, well that and the fact he was born sideways which means his mams blit looks like a  flimsy tent with a broken zip entrance at a windy, muddy and tenaciously weathered Glastonbury festival. Some riders of her have said she actually looks like a rough, withered pinkish brown poncho down below.

Speaking of ‘blits’, Scottish entrepeneur, Castle owner and swiftly combed haired Craig Whyte is “On the verge of taking over Rangers.”

Not new news really, but to my delight he may also pull out of the deal. In an exclusive  image (which would probably appear in the daily record if it was run by people who made it past primary school) Craig Whyte reveals all: –

The deal is resting in a £2.8 million (what we know of from the press, its probably more than this) tax bill and if it is not got rid of or Whyte has immunity from paying it out of his own pocket, the deal looks like it could be a Robert Maxwell, dead in the water. He would be a lunatic to buy Rangers, god knows why he would buy them, he is either a wealthy buffoon trying to be a poor mans Roman Abramovich after a play toy or he is just a sheer lunatic that is on a level of lunacy of a dog when you shine a torch on the carpet and it tries to pounce on it, aye effin nuts.

On more of a Celtic front we have the pleasure of playing the happy Hibees in our next match. Mark Wilson has been quipping on the next match and the fixture pile up that faces us he said: –

“We’ve got almost two players for every position, so we’re pretty fortunate,”

“I think we have a big enough squad to deal with it.”

Fair game Wilson, state the obvious but I do not necessarily think that is our main stumbling block. The main issue will be how weathered the pitches we face playing on are and whether or not the clubs we especially travel away to have looked after their pitches throughout the conclusive rain Scotland has got and will get more of.

Thankfully our next two matches are at home so we need not worry about the state of pitches, just yet anyways. The hibs need to be beat all the same. A home fixture, in front of a possibly packed Celtic Park, no other result is an option, especially with it being so close on points with our main rivals.

My prediction, a Celtic win, 3-1. Not comfortable, but content with some flowing football and hopefully a start for Stokes up front.

So Celts what do you think?

• How can the diddy teams we go to, prepare better pitches?

• Is astroturf the way forwards, again?

• Will we beat Hibs comfortably?

• When will we expect to see wee Shaun again?

• Will we roar to a great victory at home once again?

• Will the gers have a new owner soon or will Ibrox soon be a multi-storey shopping centre, with possibly better finances than the gers ever will have?

• Finally, any predictions on the Celtic starting line-up against Hibs?

Comments please as always.