I’m Your Wanyama: Why Have We Signed Victor Mugabe Wanyama?

As Germinal Beerschot (has a club ever sounded more like athletes foot cream than that mob) gave a pontiff style blessing for their ‘diamond’ , Victor Mugabe Wanyama, to join us, I’m probably not alone in wondering why we are about to spend a considerable bit of our budget on another midfielder.

It’s an area that we have an embarrassment of riches. Ok, some of the jewels are not to everyone’s taste as we see with Niall McGinn making noises about leaving to a non-plussed audience who are wondering if Mick McCarthy will be daft enough to offer over a million for him again.

Are we going to see one of the main events leaving? Unlikely. Wanyama is a 20 year old that has only played 50 professional league games in his 3 years in non-descript Belgium and has only 11 caps for Kenya who, in a fit of ignorance and pithy, I’m rating as not the best side in on the African continent.

I’m not questioning the players ability. That’s for fools before he has kicked a ball for us. I’m also not going to look the gift of Scott Brown dropping down the pecking order for a center midfield berth in the mouth and refuse. I should probably meet Victor at the airport and hug him for this.

This is a long term punt. We are of the opinion that Kayal will continue at an extraordinary level of constancy next season meaning that him moving next year is more likely. We also have doubts about the long term future of Ki.

I watch a lot of Channel 5. The soft core porn and Jean Claude Van Damme movies appeal. I fully expect us to be on Thursday night Channel 5 a lot next season. This is not some dismissive view on the caliber of teams in the Zooropa League.

No, ALL teams are beatable, on paper, apart from some big guns who mop around and oil rich, usually racist, Russians. Last seasons foes in this competition were beatable. But the modern day Celtic awayday fuckwittery took hold on a new bunch of recruits. With a favourable draw I don’t expect this to happen twice.

In and around these games will see this signing cut his teeth. Games against teams whose names resemble an explosion in a scrabble factory. Suspensions and injuries will also see him get enough domestic fodder under his belt. That’s if he settles.

If he settles and spins the wheel then we have a ready made replacement for any of the movers in the midfield next summer. Victor will have a year experience.

That’s blue sky thinking though.

Here’s a video plus, having a look at him, do you think Kenya have the same lax laws of registering births as the Nigerians?

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