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Better meddle wi the deil than the Bairns o Fawkirk (The Good, The Bad & Ugly Of The Communities Cup Semi)

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The Good

I was reminded why I loved the gemme of football the other evening. I was falling out of love with it as I watched the El Classico. For all the talent, ability and sheer brilliance on show it was being marred by the play acting, cheating and just downright bawbaggery of  Luis Mira Pepe, Serigo Busquets and co.

It was also hard to get excited over watching Liverpool getting to their first Wembley final since 1996 at the expense of the nouveau riche Man City, no matter how good it is to see Kenny doing well. He has spent a shed load of cash also. It was hardly a victory for the little man.

The MOMENT came in the Estadio Da Bata in Equatorial Guinea. The hosts were playing Senegal. A team tipped for greatness and full of individual talent that showcases it’s wares in the biggest leagues in the world. The pitch looked like it was beamed in from a Sportscene re-run from 1957 (it even had tractor marks on it) as torrential rain turned it into a mud bath. Some parts could have been used as a weans paddling pool.

With the game poised at 1-1 each (Equatorial Guinea had taken the lead through Iyanga Travieso – or Randy as he is otherwise known – only to see Moussa Sow equalize) going into the forth minute of injury time Senegal had thrown everyone forward as their need for a WIN was more. They lost the ball. The Equatogenarians broke up the park.

David ‘Kily’ Alvarez Aquirre (the right back) charged through the rain sodden pitch like an extra from War Horse. When the ball was played to him (I don’t think we knew that he was going to be the most famous man EVER from Equatorial Guinea in Blog Towers since Simon Mann and Mark Thatcher) it looked like he couldn’t run anymore so HE DECIDED TO HIT THE FLAMING THING FROM 25M – PEAKING AT 98KMH – RIGHT INTO THE TOP CORNER.

It was the BIGGEST SHOCK ever in the history of the African Cup Of Nations (well until Sudan scored their first goal in the competition for 36 years and UPDATE Gabon beat Morocco 3-2 with a goal from Daniel Cousin). The celebrations lasted for at least 5 minutes. Equatorial Guinea’ s center half Laurance Doe was sent off for over celebrating, the stewards in the stadium left their posts joined in the celebrations with the team and some fans invaded the pitch (only to be chased off by gun touting soldiers).

It was pure Roy of the Rover stuff. It was the innocence of it all. It was so different from anything I have seen in ages.

What has this got to do with us and a date at Hampdump?

Well, weren’t you – like me- beginning to think that this semi final was a bit of a distraction? We are on an unbeaten run of 12 games (I think WE may have mentioned that a few times) and the thought of a cup game, especially one against lower league opposition in an empty national stadium wasn’t stirring stuff.

The reminder of the innocence of the game that we all love changed my view. Lennon is attempting to take us to our third cup final in a row. We have a hate/hate relationship with the Co-op Coca Cola CIS Skol Communities Cup. I think it’s about time we improved our record in it.

We are in form. We should play a strong side. Let’s enjoy it.

The Bad

The motto of Fawkirk (the title of this blog) sums up the situation that the SFL side find themselves in. Youth Academy products mixed with some grizzly old timers and guys – still young – who have something to prove (Mark Millar). They have the highly rated Murray Wallace who is attracting attention from Huddersfield, Brighton and Ipswich.

Don’t mock. Daryl Murphy is at Ipswich.

In Farid El Alagui they have a player that has scored 22 goals this season (6 in the league cup – 2 against Them and 1 against DuNT) who was playing for Romorantin last season. It’s as close as you can get to picking up a tramp from the street, asking him what size of boots he is and if he can play up front.

A lot of us had a problem with Steven Pressley when he signed for Celtic. A lot Never Loved Elvis. It wasn’t a surprise when he signed. WGS had gave us enough indications of the ‘team player’ he liked. The manager showed his sinister streak when he appointed Elvis captain for a visit to Swinecastle.

Looking back, without any bitterness whatsoever about him being captain in the first place , it was a massive GIRUY to the Maroon Meanies who hate everything that we stand for and for a bonafide club legend – his picture was hanging in the home stand at the time – to lead us to a 2-1 victory (and be a rock during the gemme like he had been so many times for them) then salute the Celtic support must have been like them being force feed a $hit sandwiched served with added $hit.

Makes me sad that I didn’t enjoy it more at the time.

Elvis the manager has had a rocky ride. The more bird brained in the Falkirk support wanted him sacked after relegation from the SPL in the 2010 and failure to win promotion the following season. The only reason he didn’t get the sack was probably the clubs lack of funds to pay him off and get a replacement willing to work with a team that resembles Fagans gang .

One of their first team squad – Steven Kingsley – is ‘winching’ a girl that stays in my street. I see him walking her home from school. I remember in the good old days 1st division defenders would have left bigger $hites in the cludgie than him and the old been-around-the-block-wingers would eat him as a between meal snack.

Begs the question that if they all resemble him then how are they 2nd in the SFL, in the Scottish Cup 5th round and managed to beat R*ngers and DuNT on the way to the Semi Finals of this cup?

Is Elvis really a genius? Are they just that young they haven’t been gripped by the FEAR? We have previous in games like this (I’m sure someone will remind us about that)

The b*ggers even had the cheek to draw 2-2 with Raith Rovers in their last gemme. Are they trying to take the proverbial already?

The Ugly

I wasn’t on message when Fergus McCann went to war with Jim Farry and Co over the need to refurbish Hampden. Fergus said it was a waste of money while CP and IPOX were in the city. I thought we needed a national stadium due to the diminishing status of the Scottish gemme and that a super dooper stadium would mask that we were pretty crap at football.

Fergus was kind off right. The SFA got it ALL wrong.

Hampden is a dump. The only part they got right was the South Stand. The East and West stands are too far away from the goals. In the North Stand you get a fine view but the facilities and leg room lend to the feel of a cheap job. The need to pay for the facility sees two games being played on consecutive days in the middle of winter this weekend. The park hasn’t got a history of being a bowling green to start with.

While the Ayrshire Troglodytes will see the culture of physical violence and random acts of shin worrying as fantastic Saturday afternoon entertainment, I would rather see a bit of football being played.

The weather, the pitch and both managers saying that semi finals are ‘fraught’ affairs mean that we are getting conditioned for an instantly forgettable slog in not the best conditions.

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  • Jocky says:

    ‘as close as you can get to picking up a tramp from the street, asking him what size of boots he is and if he can play up front.’
    What like Goian,’hee hee’.

    • lordofthewing says:

      Saying Goian is a tramp is an insult to tramps. He is one of those genetic Eastern European mutants who are programmed either to be lower league henchmen, night club bouncers or general nasty shotgun holders for drug barons.

  • Sean says:

    Ive always promoted my prose that Papac is more bond villain than footballer, its good to see on my foundations houses are being built.

    In addition may I add ‘lol’ tramps!! Ironically when elvis signed for us I always had him labelled with the ‘Ive just stepped out of a soup kitchen’ look. A friend of mine actually met pressley at a charity golf day hes quite an intelligent chap apparently.

    • lordofthewing says:

      I have always pictured Papac more as one of those accused transgender athletes. It’s it a man or is it a woman? I’m sure he has probably been chatted up in Glesga by a drunk looking for his nat king.

      But, he does REALLY looked like a female Nazi Officer from Raiders Of The Lost Ark – or was it The Last Crusade.

      I do have a story about Pressley, which I will incorporate into the match review. This gemme has now taken an EDGE (though, it did have an edge beforehand with a cup final place at stake) with both managers admitting they don’t like each other, which is a really surprising and unexpected bit of meat to feast on.

      BBC Hootsmon called Elvis: “studied” yesterday. I think they meant it as a compliment.

  • ianin440 says:

    Waiting on your match report. 🙂
    Hampden was blue yesterday, the colour of the Scottish government. We had a blue badge on our beloved green and white hoops and the club crest was put on a big blue flag.
    Bring back Coca Cola red! 🙂

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