Monday 6th August
The start of the football season means the return of Sportscene. A Sunday night blood bath,which shows the world how not to make a Tv highlights program and gives the general impression that everyone involved in Scottish Football is lucky to string a sentence together using words with more than two syllables.
Last night saw a new studio set up and a new computer graphic used to take your mind off what Rob McLean is saying. The graphic is a shocking yellow and gives the impression that Rob McLean is about to be beamed into hyperspace our the studio has reached hyper speed like the Millennium Falcon did in Star Wars.
Guests tonight saw Stephen Craigian appearing in a media outlet for the 150th time this week and our Assistant Manager Johan Mjallby. Rob said to Johan before highlights of Ross County v Motherwell: “This will be off interest to you” as if our whole scouting of The Staggies will be based on a minute and a half of footage.
Also, it’s not as if we are not going to face every team featured in the program that night this season is it?
The SPL announce a deal with You Tube for their own highlights channel. I would like to announce the death of Sportscene. Rob McLean will be appearing at an indoor bowls centre near you soon.
Tuesday 7th August 2012
There must be an announcement soon regarding EBT’s and dual contracts. Why? Well, over the last few days we have seen Lucky Eck, Gavin Rae, Billy ‘I just signed the papers‘ Dodds and – FINALLY – the grand master David Murray deny any wrong doing in a way that only devious guilty parties can.
Murray attempted to muddy the waters by claiming that ‘EBT’s are not illegal’ (TRUE) and that the SPL/SFA are moving the goalposts with regards to them. It wasn’t the EBT’s that are being questioned by the SPL. It’s the dual contracts they are interested in. But don’t let that little fact get in the way of rabble rousing.
The Beebs investigative journalist Mark Daly was wheeled out to face Doddsie on Radio Shortbread. As Doddsie reached a pitch only blue whales could hear as he defended his EBT, Daly said that all the evidence he had seen pointed to contractual payments being made via an EBT. He also hinted that more Rangers (deceased) employees are involved than the evidence he has made public.
Talking of that, Fat Sally said no dual contracts existed as he has been told this. Unsure who by but this man trusted Craig Whyte, Charles Green and his ex-Wife with the gardener. He spoke on the day that Sevco FC signed Kevin Kyle, Fran Sandaza and some Brazilian defender.
The Sevco Project really is becoming the most vulgar club in football and their idea of their journey being a fairytale is most football fans idea of cheese induced nightmares that end in your family hamster eating your kids. They are behaving like the next door neighbour who is determined to show how much money they have by putting a swimming pool in their 6 square foot back garden. It’s a unnecessary show of supposed grander.
Signing any half fit, dim witted football mercenary who is willing to shed any shred of professional ambition in the name of money is not the way to win friends as they are claiming to do. Off course I know players will always move where the money is. Their limited brain cells only spark into life when the bottom line is mentioned.
The difference between Sevco, PSG or Man City is that the later two can offer top level football plus astronomical wages to ease players into the project. Sevco can over Ramsden Cup and trips to Peterhead to play plumbers, civil servants and the obligatory milkman. Basically to play players who won’t earn in a year what they earn in a month on a weekly basis.
If this is taking the moral high ground then taking a $hit on a coffee table is normal dinner party etiquette. The players they have signed are instantly dislike able due to this. They are rats who are stopping the prospect of a postman playing for a club he thinks are still alive. Fat Sally has baseball batted that fairytail so that he doesn’t need to coach his way out of a deep f*cking hole.
If they were a Pot Noodle they would come with the warning: “Will make you violently sick if consumed“.
Wednesday 8th August 2012
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An away win in Europe. Undefeated in out last three European away outings. I like those apples.
I saw this picture late on Wednesday night. I think it sums up the game.
CELTIC JULHI! Sounds good to me.
Thursday 9th August 2012
“It’s a good question – I think you need to ask Peter that. We will talk about it over the next few days.” replied our leader when asked about new signings. This was enough for the silly season clown horn to be sounded. Something that gladly has been missing so far.
With European football in the bag until December at least it seems that we are suddenly awash with money and are being failed with those who control the purse strings. I thought we had all accepted that until we sell then Double F was going to be the only signing? With Ki at the Olympics we are not cashing in ginger bottles just yet.
The coming weeks will lead to mild hysteria and the army on standby.
Friday 10th August 2012
Like most offices my workplace is an open plan, bland and depressing place. The openness means that you hear snippets of conversation, blowhardy opinions and lack of a coherent thought process when it comes to all things football.
I tend to stay away from conversations regarding football for the obvious reason that I know nothing about football.
Sevcovians have been quiet over the summer. Football hasn’t been the hot topic until recently. Fat Sally call’s it ‘the feel good factor’.
I would rather refer to it as I-cant-believe-it’s-not-Rangers-as-we-are-still-superior-to-everyone-and-are-still-THE-PEOPLE-and-not-just-organisms-like-those-pesky-taigs syndrome.
Still I had a water cooler moment today. As I arrived two Sevcovians were discussing their trip to Peterhead tomorrow (it’s very obvious that they are only going as they would be bored otherwise, their brains cannae channel having to think like normal people on a Saturday without indulging in CASUAL bigotry).
I listened for a few minutes to them arranging pick ups, carry oots and general tomfoolery when I was dragged into the conversation:
“Guid draw fir youse t’day, eh?”
“Aye, would rather play Scandinavian scamps than Latino limpets or Eastern Europeans funded by gangsters” I replied.
“Who dae ye play ra morra?” the other Sevcovian asked.
“Real Madrid in Philadelphia”
“Whit?”
“Aye, Real Madrid in Philadelphia” I deadpanned again.
I only think his face could contort to that expression again if he walked into his house and found his mother in bed with a cocker spaniel. His exuberance fell to earth like an elephant base jumping. It’s the small things…..
I leave you this week with pictures of the proposed up grade to Celtic Park. Seems to be a lot of paper waving over the proposal to knock down the Primary School on the London Road. While I cried salty tears when the Barrs Factory disappeared and would love that the school was incorporated into the grand new plans.
But..while nostalgia is not what it’s used to be and capitalism wont be stopped the building has been rundown so much that Scobby Doo refuses to go into it. The Avenue of Heroes needs to be fit for Heroes. Is this our own Help For Heroes?
How was your week?
