Date: 3rd August 2012 at 11:12pm
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Monday 31st July 2012

I was completely consumed by the fallout from the ‘Game Behind The Hedge’ today, much to my disgust that after months and months we are still being force fed news concerning a club that was playing it’s first competitive game (a fact that was recognised by nearly all news agencies).

Still, despite those feelings of disgust the aftermath of Glebe Park was jaw dropping.

It wasn’t that we found out that Charlie Green had another suit (a black pin strip number, very 1980’s Leeds Nightclub) but that this Ramsden Cup tie was overshadowed by songs about child abuse, banners about child abuse, suggestions that the league will be reconstructed in The Rangers FC favour and accusations of bigotry.

Green’s claims that the decision that have effected The Rangers FC are born from bigotry are as laughable as they are see through. Green would have been as well walking through the traveling support yesterday shouting: “Butt scratchier!, butt scratchier! Ger yer butt scratcher here!”.

He then followed it up by boasting they would be debt free and back in the SPL soon – a claim backed up by the loose tongued Ian Black and makes sense of his signing targets – and publicly being seen attacking the SFA.

Strange tactics for a man whose new club are being very well accommodated by the SFA who are doing everything in their power to transfer a non transferable membership and ensure that The Rangers FC are not choked on the umbilical cord. Has that membership fully been signed over yet?

I was puzzled by The Rangers FC taking to the field as Rangers FC (now deceased) at Brechin. I took to twitter to find out if this was allowed. Paul McConville said it is allowed, while Rangers Tax Case tweeted a document saying it may not be allowed. A look at the HMRC website clearly states that liquidation means Rangers can start with a clean slate.

Are the HMRC that bothered about the name? As it was put to me why would they jeopardise something that in the future – if run correctly – would bring them massive tax contributions?

The game itself was a poor affair. In truth I struggled to notice any difference between the standard of The Rangers FC performance and that off Rangers Deceased at numerous points last season. The agricultural nature of the lower leagues will suit Fat Sally’s lack of tactics perfectly.

To cleanse my soul and to remind myself we got a credible draw against Inter Milan, I decided to pop over to the Affiliation Of Registered CSC site and read the match report by Rhebel Rhebel.

That was lunch over then.

Tuesday 31st May 2012

We awoke this morning to the sight of Peter Lawwell & Neil Doncaster striding through an airport in like some sort of The Apprentice wannabes. They were ‘doon the smoke’ sealing the deal with Sky Tv (& hopefully ESPN).

This surely must have annoyed Doncaster. He has spent the last few months telling us that Sky wouldn’t be interested without Rangers and that the game was facing extinction. What a great starting point for negotiations, eh? What a bellend of a man he is.

Though, seeing him and Peter together does bring me out in the cold sweats thing about how much we were behind his cockbutler behaviour. This feeling of disgust is overawed by the glee I feel at the rage the Sevcovians will muster seeing this modern day version of pinky and perky concluding deals for the benefit of the Scottish game.

Sky have confirmed 30 games (25 SPL & 5 SFL) with the deal rumoured to be about £13m per season. Yes, it’s crap but it’s not Armageddon and a 5 year contract will give this mealy mouthed and flat footed business men who run our clubs the comfort of guaranteed income.

I hope ESPN come on board as well. They recently have announced deals for the French, Italian, Russian and German leagues, while saying that they are signed up to the scottish game as well. For £10 a month it does- for me anyway – give you better value for money than Sky which is so EPLcentric that you find your talking all southern and believing Fulham v Stoke is a Super Sunday.

Our game against The Sheep has been confirmed as a 12:45 kick off next Saturday. I do hear that the Yorkshire Scrabble Club are disappointed that they won’t get Scottish Football’s allotted slots.

Top level competitive football returned to the airwaves, with Motherwell getting beat from Pana. This means a return of Stephen Craigan who last season gushed at Fat Sally that his Motherwell were beat by just looking at the size of the Rangers team. Tonight he sounds like a family liaison officer telling a mother her son is dead.

Wednesday 1st August 2012

Despite us facing our biggest game since we faced Braga the press thought it would be great yesterday to get Neil Lennon’s view on Charles Green bigotry claims. Lennon stated that he thought it was ‘funny’ and we await him being asked his views on whatever East Stirling’s chairman mutters during the season.

Both him and Joe Ledley called for an earlier start of the season or summer football to help us in the quest to make up the numbers in the biggest tournament in club football. My biggest gripe or fear would be that moving to summer football means that we would no longer attract players. Mind you, further questioning and thought to that fear makes that null and void as we can’t attract top players anyway.

A season that starts in June and ends in March anyone?

Most of the press over the last few days has been focusing on the financial need for us to win this game while completely ignoring that Neil Lennon REALLY needs to win this game. The press would love us to lose this. They are already trying to sell Wanyama to Arsenal or Man United.

I spoke to my good friend Arseblog about Wanyama and his view is that Arsenal are well stocked in the midfield and they wouldn’t pay £10m. Both of us smell agent dung.

I’m typing this before I leave to go to paradise. I’ve just watched Bradley Wiggo Wiggins win a gold medal. I’m actively supporting Wiggo by drinking a can of lager on my couch. That’s support!

Paul Morgan’s fantastic scouting report on Video Celts leaves me well versed and hopefully surprise free.

Mon The Hoops!

Thursday 2nd August 2012

Fall out from HJK. Here is the match report and post match session (carb and hangover FREE!). There was surprises but we are still alive.

Tonight saw Dundee United draw with Dinamo Moscow. It seems a new wave of goodwill to other teams has came all over us and we were all wishing United well. Seemed to be a serious punch up at the game, which took Alan Prestons mind off Chris Hoy’s thighs.

Going back to the Olympics. Team GB winning medals in rowing, shooting and equestrian is just so middle England. So, Trevor and Jemima. The policy of throwing money at elitist sports is working.

Friday 3rd August 2012

This morning I had the unfortunate pleasure of hearing Graham Spiers moaning on Radio Shortbread that the Celtic support were facing a bleak season without Rangers. While I agree with his assumption that our board would rather Zombie FC were in the division and that there is a mild panic over finances I have yet to meet a Celtic fan who will miss the now defunct club.

Spiers has been one of the biggest doomsayers about our game since it became clear that the Govan Gubs were going down the Gary Glitter. Spiers career actually is a bit like his boyhood heroes.

Once he had the world at his feet. An impressive young journalist who could perform perfect ten’s in language gymnastics and wasn’t afraid to take on taboos. He attracted attention of the big boys and left this small pond behind citing: “for every 1000 words you write, I’ll write 2000 using fancy big words”.

Once he was behind The Times paywall he became an irrelevance. He started appearing up north again on low market phone in’s and trolling twitter. The Rangers saga saw him gain prominence on our Tv screens but he was a parody of that intellectual young buck and is beginning to resemble Piers Morgan. He now covers golf as his main subject matter.

He’s been liquidated.

ESPN confirmed that they will show 40 Scottish games next season and they have agreed a contract until 2017. As I said they give great value for money but they need to sack Craig Burley. As he attempts to climb the greasy pole of media he has become an insufferable bitter ersehole who really shouldn’t be let out the house nevermind near a mircophone.

I love the feast of football ESPN give us over a weekend end but would love to shove a Feast up Burley’s bottom. So, this post comes with the #tag #sackcraigburley.

To end this That Was The Week That Was here is the Pre Match Session for our game against The Sheep.

How was your week?