The Reason I Hate Barcelona.

I’m not going to argue that Barcelona are the best side on the planet.

They can also lay claim to be the greatest team ever. Trumping the early 90’s AC Milan team and the Prisoner Of War side in Escape To Victory.

So….WHY…..DO….THEY…..NEED…..TO…..BE….DETESTABLE…..SANCTIMONIOUS…..ARROGANT…..SELF-RIGHTEOUS…..HAND-WRINGING…..MOANING-FACED….MORALISTIC…..DRUM-BEATING….W*NK-STAINS…..about it?

Is being better THAN EVERYONE F*CKING ELSE not good enough for them?

They have to wander around preaching that their way is GOSPEL and anyone else that doesn’t play their way are SO EVIL,  they need to be drowned like witches?

It seems lost on them that this F*CKING BLEATING makes them look like the ultimate c*ck faced c*nts and the majority of the watching world would like to beat them to death with one of their perfectly formed legs that completes A HUNDRED F*CKING THOUSAND passes a game.

No one can play like them. They are A BIG B*LLOCKING FREAK OF NATURE.

They show signs of not being from this planet. Inestia looks like an unwanted alien who was left on a doorstep by some disappointed Martian. Messi would have got hung in Argentina for being a Hobbit if he wasn’t so good at football. Busquets? A serial killing Taxi driver if he couldn’t kick a ball.

For them to decry any of us – the poor $hit on the shoe of the football world – for being anti football because: 1) THEY ARE SO F*CKING GOOD WE CANT GET THE BALL and 2) WE HAVE THE B*LLOCKS TO TRY A GAMEPLAN THAT MAY SEE US NOT GET A COMPLETE RODGERING is bordering on just plain F*CKING bullying.

Their tear stained moans are akin to a bully who doesn’t like to get hit back a few times.

This fannyism they indulge in sees devotion on the scale of ONE-F*CKING-DIRECTION. Except the ones who partake in the fanboy fanaticism are far more dangerous than a 12 year old girl who hopes one day to come home and find Harry Styles in bed with their Mum. They are more delusional than those who see strapping bombs to themselves as a great way to get their message accepted by the masses. These c*nts are sniffing the skid-marked undercrackers of the BIGGEST F*CKING HYPOCRITES in the world of Football.

HAVE YOU WATCHED AN EL CLASSICO RECENTLY?

F*CKING PRIMA DONNAS taking HISSY FITS, STROPS AND ELTON BLEATING JOHN LEVEL TANTRUMS with some fitba occasionally breaking out.

Did you see their defeats to Inter and Chelsea?

Not scared to DIVE, CHEAT AND ATTEMPT TO CON THE REF.

That is more evil than PARKING THE BUS…..GIVIN 120%…..KEEPING IT TIGHT….. or NOT LETTING YOU INSUFFERABLE TWATS PLAY YOUR WAY THROUGH US AT WILL.

I want you to fail. When you fail I hope it’s to a team that park a BIG F*CKING FREIGHT TRAIN ACROSS THE GOAL and score with a MASSIVELY DEFLECTED HOOF FROM THE GOALIE, which is their only shot in 180 minutes of football.

Your F*NNYBOYS would kill themselves by shoving crayons up their nose and hammering the h*ll down on the nearest desk. My spleen would explode over my 42 inch TV and my recently painted gentle summer coloured walls cause I was laughing too much.

Then I would want your manager is forced fed his F*CKING TANK TOP THROUGH A STRAW!

Now, please forgive me for not indulging in the mass c*ck sucking that is happening this week. I would rather grate my balls then feed the shavings to stray dogs than entertain the notion of some bond.

THEY HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT C*NTS TO US SINCE THE FIRST GAME.

Let’s just give THE BIG SPOILED CRY BABY C*CK RADISHES something to moan about like a few testicles in ice packs and a couple of dismembered limbs sent home via air mail.

BOND, MY AR$E.