Sevco Conspiracy Theorists Beaten By The Unseen Hand

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Charging at windmills. Repeating the same behaviour over and over again and expecting a different result. Banging your head against the wall.

Sevco fans, why don’t you just stop trying to unravel the tangled web?

Don’t you know it’s going nowhere?

Don’t you know it leads to madness, delusion, self destruction?

Oh wait … you already suffer from the first two … and you’ve proven very adept at the third.

Okay then … but for your own sakes, stop with this before it’s too late.

Today’s news that Audit Scotland have rejected, in full, the State Aid case on which so many of you were depending for good news … is it really a surprise?

Don’t you know this is … senseless?

Don’t you know that Celtic runs … well, everything?

Come on, this is just lunacy.

You’re a mouse fighting a gorilla, to nick a cracking phrase from Oliver Stone’s JFK.

Here’s another, but I’m paraphrasing this one;

“We’re through the looking glass here people. Whyte is Green. And Green is Whyte.”

So bark at the moon. Flog the dead horse. Plow the sands.

If you must.

But know that victory is impossible. That you can’t ever win. That the roots of this go too deep, and the tentacles of the octopus reach too far.

Because we’re everywhere. And nowhere.

That Unseen Hand is meddling in every bit of business, and the all-seeing-eye is cast over distant horizons you can’t even fathom, involving in affairs you can’t even understand.

You want a hint of the Grand Plan, I suppose … alright then.

Vladimir Putin is a Celtic fan.

There it is.

Apply your version of logic to this. It all starts to unravel.

He was educated at St Petersburg High School, which obviously makes him a Catholic. Which according to one of your respected (no laughing non-Sevco fans) bloggers is all the qualification he needs to hate the “quintessentially Protestant club” that was Rangers ….

And then there’s the EU … formed under what? The Treaty of Rome.

That Unseen Hand at its very finest and most dangerous.

US Vice President Joe Biden …

Secret Service codename; Celtic.

Sometimes we don’t even try to hide how far our influence extends ….

So beat the air. Cast stones against the wind. Piss into the hurricane.

If you like.

But understand who it is you’re fighting against here.

I mean, let’s take what we know already, okay?

Just in the UK alone.

The Labour Party is in on it.

John Reid. Brian Wilson. Damian McBride. Steven Purcell. Jim Murphy. Too many to count. Too many to name.

And this is why Glasgow Catholic Council is in the frame too, run, as it is, by such a rabid anti-Rangers clique.

The SNP are in on it.

Of course they are. From candidates with Irish sounding names throwing the H word about, to their wish to remove the Union Jack from public buildings to their efforts to break up the union entirely. And obviously their links with Irish Republicanism don’t need spelling out.

They think the same way in that they don’t like rule from London.

And the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act?

A mere smokescreen!

Political cover whilst they come after “traditional British values” like … err …. Nazi salutes and standing up for the troops.

Of course the Greens are in on this too.

The clue is in the name. I mean, come on … named after Charles himself, right?

The SSP most definitely is.

They had that guy in charge once, him with the fake tan. A well known Celtic supporter, even appeared in The View.

And they too want independence. And socialism, and we all know what evil that is.

See Putin, Vladimir.

And Reid, John.

(Stretching it now, I accept … )

Which leaves just the Tories.

(I know I’m missing one, but I can’t think of who they are. It can’t be very important, and indeed it’s not.)

Four words to say about the Tories.

Lord Livingston of Parkhead.

His party is clearly compromised through and through.

The moves by the Green Brigade and the Celtic Trust and a huge chunk of the support to remove him from the board … window dressing!

An effort to hide the fact that this conspiracy still has its influence in Downing Street.

And that just covers politics.

Think of the businesses that have Celtic connections.

Persil and that green strip in their notorious Rangers-baiting ads …. Wotsits and their mockery of the NewCo with their “Zombie Fingers” … Tetley and their “Green Man” logo … Pringles and their notorious green and white Come On You Boys In Green tube … Coca Cola and their bottles with the word “Tim” on the front … more than just a boy’s name, that …

I could go on. And on. And on. But you get the picture.

So milk the ram. Try to square the circle. Shoe the goose.

If that’s what makes you happy.

But don’t expect success.

Even the football governing bodies, albeit except those in Scotland, are with us all the way.

Look at UEFA; even their initials are a subliminal hint:

The Unseen European Fenian Alliance.

Yes, we are everywhere. And we are nowhere.

You didn’t even know your own owners were in on it.

We gave you Whyte first, with a cunningly disguised name. So okay, it’s part of our jersey and part of the tri-colour to which we all allegedly bow … but the spelling threw you. But you must have been a teeny weeny bit suspicious when we followed it up with Green, right?

You’re still not getting it.

I understand completely.

Go read your Bible then.

Even God rested the 7th day.

Why? To go to Mass.

Obvious, isn’t it?

I know one or two of you see psychiatrists.

Next time you’re there, ask him or her what the traditional name they gave to paranoia was.

They’ll confirm this for you.

They called it “the Irish disease.”

See, even you’re catching it.

It’s already inside you. The Unseen Hand has one of its fingers on your pulse already.

You’ll be drinking Guinness and singing Danny Boy in no time.

And your kids? Don’t even get me started on your kids.

They will be Celtic fans.

One way or another.

So wash the brick. Try to get blood out of the stone. Continue with this sleeveless errand.

If it makes you feel good.

But this fight was over a long time ago.

There is no glory in this battle.

There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Celtic will not be found guilty and fined into oblivion, giving you the chance to enjoy years of glee at our torment, the way we’ve tormented you.

Ask yourselves this; how did you ever think it’d be otherwise?

Because if a conspiracy this size actually did exist … how were you going to beat it?

You never had a prayer.

Or maybe you think you did. After all, you are “the Peepil.”

But if you really were “The Peepil” none of this would have happened in the first place.

That just sums you up though; Always The Last To Know.

And whilst we’re going through High Times, you continue to Deceive Yourself In Ignorant Heaven.

This really was your Last Cheap Shot At The Dream.

And it’s over.

Audit Scotland says No Case To Answer.

Did you ever think it would be otherwise?


Why don’t you just know your place?

It might be Unseen, but it’s Everywhere.

Get used to forever being in its shadow.

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