The Daily Record really is full of it, eah?
Today one of its hacks, David Dubas-Fisher, has written a sarcastic piece suggesting that “according to one measure at least, Celtic is the biggest club in Scotland.” You can already tell from the sneering tone that he doesn’t believe we are. The article itself goes even further into deep sarcasm when he reveals what said measure actually is.
We have more hits on our Wikipedia page.
This is The Record attempting humour, but there’s a serious message (or what passes for one) in its article, and it’s this notion that we’re not really the biggest at all, that some other club out there has us beat. That they would sneer at this Wikipedia stat is their way of saying any other standard is all in our minds, in our heads, something that can’t be quantified by other means.
Except … it can. It is. It does.
And we are.
Highest average attendance.
Highest valued team.
We’re top of the Football Rich List for this country, and not by a little but by miles and miles and miles.
We have the top paid and best manager.
We have the highest earning footballers.
The ground itself is a marvel to look at, from the frontage to the interior.
And we can pay to have it maintained.
Our income and expenditure dwarfs all the rest combined, and by virtue of the Death of Rangers we’re also the most successful club in the country … and achieved without cheating.
Anyone who wants to see what makes us truly great only has to consider one glorious year in our history, the one without parallel, the one that casts the greatest shadow, the one in which we became the only club in this country to win the European Champions Cup.
It’s nice to know we also have the best Wikipedia page.
We’ll add that to the rest along with best dressed fans, best looking and most intelligent to boot.
David Dubas-Fisher thinks he’s being a smartarse today with his cheeky headline and his piece.
In fact, I’m glad for halfwits like this because they make my job the easiest in the world, batting aside this utter guff day on day, and hammering the facts home which no-one can deny.
By every conceivable measure – those that matter, and those that simply raise a smile – we are, without a doubt, the biggest club in Scotland, now and forever.
And they really can’t stomach it can they?
They can choke on it instead.
In Brendan We Trust.
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