14 Points Behind, Skint & The Roof Coming In. Sevco Fans Are Focussed On A Song.

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Have you ever seen anything like this in your life?

Desperate times call for desperate measures, they say, and sure, but this is taking the piss. Because this is as desperate as it gets.

Sevco fans got a song to number one. Ooooh wow!

Celtic fans have been pushing a song in the charts for a few weeks.

We might not have got it to number one, but we were less concerned about doing that than making sure the money went to a good cause.

Where’s the Sevco fans money going?

To a band. To a record company which sure as Hell doesn’t need it.

At Christmas.

When there are oh I dunno, a million actual deserving causes where that money could be better spent.

I read today, with some hilarity, about how the Sevconuts – so familiar to all of us in Celtic cyberspace – have turned their hate on the fans of girl group Little Mix, winners of X-Factor in 2011, which was curiously enough the last year Rangers got through a season without being liquidated. And why? Over a debate as to who’s song really sits top of the charts.

You know what? I’ll take top of the league over the top of the charts any day of the week.

Isn’t this … ridiculous?

If you’d told their fans, back in 2011, that one day they’d be in a Twitter spat with fans of that group, whilst following a NewCo and pretending it was still the same club, that they’d have spent the intervening years following a start-up through the divisions to reach the SPL and be fourteen points behind a rampant Celtic by Christmas … well, that might have caused more than a few meltdowns in parts of Ayrshire and Larkhall.

How sweet it is to ponder these things from our current lofty perch. How bitter it must be to cling to such triviality when good news is in such short supply.

And what of the song itself? Well, their version’s not the one on the record, of course. In fact, it’s a pale imitation of one Crystal Palace fans have been singing for nigh on fifty years and which was being sung at Blackpool and Shamrock Rovers first.

And all this is in aid of what exactly? To honour who?

A striker who doesn’t score goals. You may as well sing a ballad to a jug that doesn’t hold water or a toaster that doesn’t make toast. A guy who cost their club – their skint club – the biggest fee in its short and cash-strapped history. And they can add that to the other cash they’ve squandered on second rate football junk in the last few months. Garner is an on-field ned, whose contribution so far has been virtually nil. He’s picked up more bookings than he’s got goals and if he offers anything other than a bit of dig I haven’t seen it at all.

To me, he’s a typical second rate lower league player.

He wouldn’t get into our reserves.

Honestly, just when you think you’ve seen and heard everything from this lot (and from the media; the way they’ve hyped this has bordered on insanity; did you see Sky the other day? Jesus wept) they pull something like this and you re-evaluate their levels of moronic all over again.

This club is on the bones of its arse. It is beset with troubles, closing in on them, on all sides. And you know what the head of the fan organisation, Club 1872, had to say about this campaign? Apparently as proud as punch, and in all seriousness?

“I’m sure Dave Clark will be toasting fans when the royalties start rolling in.”

Oh you better believe he will be, but I wonder what Warburton makes of it all, and how he squares that with his own Incredibly Shrinking Transfer Budget?

King has broken umpteen promises to them. The stadium is crumbling. The team has gone backwards; their league position hides a multitude of sins and issues. Their manager is a one-trick pony, who’s been lucky enough to keep his job this long. This is a club mired in deep, deep trouble and constantly in turmoil.

Are the fans focussed on that? On finding answers? On pushing for them? No, of course not. They watched the OldCo die and if it was up to them to act the NewCo would definitely go the same way. They would be too busy fighting, on Twitter, with the makers of Pringles because they’d put the words Come On You Boys In Green on one of their tubes.

Perhaps this is all part of the Grand Plan. But when King came in and talked about “getting us to Europe” I had no idea he meant the Eurovision Song Contest. Perhaps we should push for a song of our own, in competition … if only we cared about such things.

How about Abba’s “Money Money Money”?

This is who they are today. Easily distracted.

Fools, just begging for a using.

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