Articles

Here We Go Again. Another Ibrox Crisis.

|
Image for Here We Go Again. Another Ibrox Crisis.

I was planning on writing an article relating to Celtic’s ongoing domestic dominance, but that can wait now.

I will write that when we’re past the latest exciting instalment of the Govan circus.

As most of you know Mark Warburton tendered his resignation as manager of Sevco on Friday.

Well his employers claim he did anyway. Mark denies it.

On top of that, Weir and McParland, the junior players in this late winter extravaganza, also apparently handed in their notice without actually knowing it.

As the official announcement came out on the light blues website a cloud of uncertainty formed over Edmunston Drive.

Social media and my What’s App were in meltdown.

Awash with rumour, counter rumour, innuendo and, above all else, general hilarity.

The apparent resignation become more on / off than Scott & Charlene or Ross & Rachel.

Indeed no Australian daytime soap opera or American sitcom could have delivered this script. What seemed like a simple case of the once much vaunted but now merely maligned Warburton deciding to walk away and take his back room staff with him quickly descended into shambles and then all out farce.

At first a hoax was rumoured.

Indeed it appeared, based on the slap dash / child like wording of the official club statement on the matter, that their website had fallen victim to an online hack. Though in actual fact the statement was probably just a quick concoction by someone of the ilk of John ‘WATP’ Gilligan and not some 13 year old wannabe cyber criminal.

The denials of Warburton et al appeared to indicate the club had simply acted on his behalf.

Confusion reigned.

But then enter resident Ibrox xenophobe, he of ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ boardroom fame Chris Graham.

Graham tweeted that in fact Warburton had actually handed in his notice earlier in the week subject to him getting another job. Please explain to me how the hell that works? In any case that job would appear to have been at Nottingham Forest.

Needless to say, he didn’t get it so back to Ibrox went Warburton, magic hat in hand.

But alas those of official club ties and brown brogues within the hallowed Blue Room had decided to take matters into their own hands and simply expedite an inevitable scenario. Not long after these lurid revelations, Derek Johnstone – still visibly reeling from his on-air humiliation from Chris Sutton to such an extent as to sport a luminous orange shirt and half arsed goatee in what I can only presume is a failed attempt to mask his identity when waiting on the bus home outside the Radio Clyde building every night -appeared on Sky to ‘clarify’ the situation.

All DJ appeared to do was muddy the waters.

He was of course disappointed at Mark for jumping before he was pushed as he believed him to be a ‘fighter’ (forgetting to mention that he was denying actually jumping)  but also was pretty certain he wouldn’t be in charge for the Greenock Morton cup tie on Sunday, which I think most of us had already gathered.

Indeed the only reason for all of the confusion was Warburton’s agent, who’ d lined something up which that hadn’t come off. They kind of back tracked. Or s omething to that effect. Depending on whether you believe the manager or the “official club statement.”

Either way, the mind boggles.

You wander why big Derek, who like Graham apparently had prior knowledge to the point he confirmed Warburton had handed in his notice as far back as the beginning of the week, didn’t choose to inform the ever listening legions of Ibrox stadium denizens who hang on his every word, earlier in the evening on Clyde?

So many n ow claim to have “been in the know.”

Did they all voluntarily decide not to chase scoop of the season, or are they all just singing from the same hymn sheet after the fact?

Could it be they serve another master rather than the employers who pay their bills?

I think we all know the answer to that one.

Anyway as it stands Warbuton is definitely off.

He will seek will ‘go-again’ somewhere else. Though in the short term I think it’s safe to say his garden is in for a right good seeing to. The quiet man and allegedly deep thinker (Weir) and master spy / scout/ talent finder (McParland) go with him.

They depart with most Celtic supporters best wishes.

Behind them they leave an ailing team seemingly bereft of talent under the stewardship of someone called Graeme Murty, a man of such unknown quantity that he has to check his own driving license every morning.

He’s the under 20’s coach by the way.

His file comes under ‘Who the hell is that guy?’ and has a picture of a rabbit caught in headlights beside it.

Think Kenny McDowall but even more unwilling.

For all we know it could be Jimmy Bell who’s giving the half time team talk.

Anything is possible at this stage.

Meanwhile one could only wish to be a fly on the wall in the Ibrox boardroom.

It really must be 3D glasses and popcorn time.

This has been a complete PR disaster and in particular when you consider that idiotic statement King put out on Saturday.  It’s so inept that one can see the greasy KFC covered paws of Jim Traynor all over it.

Jim has a history of denial, lies, changing positions, revisionism and selective memory.

His statement aside, Dave King of course will likely be conspicuous by his absence amongst all this. No doubt he was fast asleep, dreaming of off shore bank accounts, other people’s wine cellars and his children’s inheritance when this was all kicking off.

The fallout will likely be prime-time as fingers get pointed, accusations fly and the SMSM pick through the bones of it all.

Dave will likely check in occasionally via Snapchat or the like to touch base, give interesting soundbites and deliver more empty promises.

All in the name of transparency of course.

Expect it to dominate back and possibly front pages in the days to come.

Also expect the standard fantasies to be rolled out with the one already doing the rounds that Frank DeBoer would be interested in taking over.

The current lie of the land suggests the name will be far less glamorous.

I mean even if De Boer was to come in right now, one look at the squad followed by a glance, wince, double take and giggle at the budget would be enough to end that one.

Maybe Frank’s love for the teddy bears might win him over though.

He did play a whole 17 games for them in a trophlyless season after all.

However Tommy Wright and Derek McInnes are the far more realistic and depressing options for the light blues support.

Try spinning either one of those appointments come season ticket renewal time.

Hardly box office. Indeed just barely top 5.

As for Warburton, well it’s goodbye Mark.

You were fun. You did it your way. Just like in the city where you were a highly successful trader that nobody had ever heard of.

It all could have been so different.
If only all the top flight teams were part-time minnows.

If only the players had done Plan A better.

If only Ronny Delia had stuck around.

If only Brendan Rogers hadn’t rolled into town.

Here we go again. Another Ibrox crisis.

Can the ice cream salesmen possibly keep up with demand?

Paul Cassidy is a blogger and Celtic fan who’s currently enjoying the show. He Hail Hails from Glasgow and is already planning his twelve in a row party.

ReLoaded Digital is my new website, guys, run by myself and a team who want to build one of the best, most diverse, most interesting sites online. You can check it out now at this link.

Share this article

Writer on football, boxing, film, tv, politics and more.