Sevco Is Offering Courses In Sports Journalism. You Could Not Make That Up.

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The next batch of Daily Record hacks is in training right now, at Ibrox.

Think I’m kidding? I’m not.

Part of Sevco’s “Community Hub” program has been revealed; they are offering courses in Sports Journalism.

Yes, if you are in the right age group (S4-S6 pupils) you too can be taught to produce such pieces as the “succulent lamb” story.

Such brilliance as the famous “Motherwell Born Billionaire” tale.

Or get yourself an introduction to court-room writing by penning a scandalous and untrue front page barnstormer like “Thugs And Thieves.”

“Pupils have the opportunity to investigate the key components of feature articles from a range of publications … “ the Sevco website article says.

I’m betting this site and On Fields of Green won’t be on the required reading lists.

Let’s put it this way, it would surprise me!

Imagine what the cirriculum looks like.

Learn the key phrases that will give you an edge in the newsrooms; “cultural celebrations” “transfer war chest” “target jets in” “Celtic flop” “state aid” and “overinvestment.”

Learn how to write one thing one day, contradict it the next day and forget all about it by day three.

Learn which stories are fit for writing, and which the sporting public doesn’t need to know about and should be ignored.

Learn to re-write history. To ignore past precedent. To make stuff up when there’s nothing else to write.

This course could be a real winner if it follows those basics.

This is my favourite bit:

“In this Unit, candidates will interview former Rangers players, compile match reports and experience a matchday at Ibrox with our media team.”

It definitely sounds like a job at The Daily Record, doesn’t it?

Scotland does need a better class of sports journalist, that’s for sure. But this reads an awful lot like giving a rolled up trouser leg-up in the trade to those who are already of a Sevco persuasion, doesn’t it? I wonder who gave them this idea, eah?

Is Level5 short of staff already?

I know I shouldn’t be sneering at this. I’m sure it’s a great opportunity for the kids who are involved, and I wish them all well.

I just hope they don’t bring Jackson or any of his colleagues in to give them pointers.

Maybe he should join the class. I bet the kids could teach him a thing or two.

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