Today a feel-good story for Sevco fans still reeling from the weekend and adapting to the shock of watching their best academy side since Murray Park opened being dismantled easily by a Celtic team that strolled through the game like they were playing against passers-by in a public park.
This one’s from The Daily Record and it made me laugh.
Apparently “celebrity fan” Garbo (who I had never heard of until this morning) appeared on ArsenalTV last night and decided it might be a good idea to share with the supporters watching how he and his “fellow fans” celebrate victory. Arsenal fans watching might have been forgiven for asking when the last celebration was, but that’s a digression. We’ll skip over that.
The Daily Record has its hands on the footage that follows; a guy trying to teach other people how to jump up and down and repeat one word.
Lessons. In that.
Because he thinks that’s required.
Let’s not even discuss the sectarian connotations in the actual act; I’m sure he didn’t broadcast them to the Arsenal fans.
And yes, I know the Sevconuts will scream foul over that accusation and say how it predates the actual murder of a Catholic in that manner, but I’ve seen YouTube videos of people in blue scarves and jerseys doing it in precise imitation of that. Granted, maybe they were Chelsea fans, but a Hell of lot of them wanted to sing about Jock Stein at the same time and I don’t know many Chelsea fans with that sick obsession.
Hey, I’ll make a deal with their supporters; when they stop producing gutter trash like this I’ll stop writing about them and highlighting their existence. Am I supposed to forget that the same people claiming this is an innocent party song occasionally sandwich it between one about being up to their knees in my blood and another which broadcasts an intent to “kill (me) “before I die …”? Afraid not. Go try and convince somebody else.
Let’s focus on the utter dumbness of giving an on-the-air seminar on jumping up and down.
Let’s ponder that for a moment.
Ever watched what the Sevco fans call “The Bouncy”?
Not very co-ordinated, is it? Just a bunch a guys … bouncing. You see the same in a certain Glasgow rock nightclub on a Saturday night; there it’s called slam-dancing and there is a certain skill-set involved in it, but it’s not one that will get you a job at NASA.
But we’ve all done The Huddle, right?
That does, in fact, require a bit of team-work and “let’s all do the huddle na-na-na-na” has a lot more words to learn than “The Bouncy.” I don’t remember when I first did The Huddle, but I do know I was a big boy about it and did it on my own, without any help.
Complex as it was, I tackled it and now I consider myself an accomplished “huddler” if that’s the word.
But then I also consider myself educated.
Perhaps it’s the schools.
I don’t really know who the Daily Record video which accompanied this story was intended for. Arsenal fans who missed last night’s big performance? Sevco fans needing a lift? Or people who haven’t quite mastered the moves yet? I can’t help the Arsenal fans who missed it, save to direct them to The Record’s page and let’s face it, they don’t need that in their lives, and nobody, nobody at all, can help Sevco fans needing a lift …
But … here’s the good news.
I can help those whose IQ level is sufficiently below room temperature that they’ve not grasped complex manoeuvres like slam dancing.
YouTube thankfully provides a series of “How To …” videos and I’ve picked out one as a demonstration; I think they’ll find it useful.
It’s called How To Be A Zombie.
I hope they enjoy it, and learn something from it.