Sevco are set to bring a sensational Portuguese striker to the club.
His name is Dalcio.
And if you haven’t heard of him you’re probably not alone.
He is sensational not for his prowess in the penalty box but rather his lack of it.
He has one solitary goal in 30 odd games this season.
For Benfica’s Reserves.
Sevco are set to bring him to Scotland on a one year loan.
According to The Scottish Sun the deal is almost complete and there will be a grand unveiling this week. Rumours that Police Scotland have put all leave on hold to cope with the numbers expected outside Ibrox to welcome him are probably unfounded.
Listen, I know sometimes people think I simply make this stuff up. How could you not? Some of it is so ridiculous that it just has to be invented. But I promise you, I don’t do that and I’m not doing it here. This is their first summer signing, as they prepare to build a marquee squad to challenge Brendan Rodgers’ Invincible team.
This is what their fans are paying their season ticket money for.
When we stop laughing maybe we’ll start worrying.
You must excuse the picture on this piece. Believe it or not, I couldn’t find a single correct sized image of this 21 year old “superstar.” However, this picture does appear to fit the article rather well.