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You Cannot Be Serious! The Media Thinks It’s A Story That McEnroe Has Heard Of Sevco.

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The Scottish media has finally found bottom in their efforts to cheer up the Sevco support. And I mean they have hit the ground, burrowed beneath it and hit water. There is nowhere left to go. There are no depths left to trawl.

John McEnroe has heard of them.

Not John McEnroe supports them. Or is offering to slip some cash into their clutched beggar’s cup. Not he wants to come to Ibrox for an exhibition tennis match where he and the bronzed bullshitter (bullfighter haha, sorry) can go head to head … none of that.

He has heard the name.

Somewhere.

As the man himself might once have said, “Really? You cannot be serious!

I don’t know where today’s piece of “Aren’t Sevco Wonderful?” got started, but like a bad dose of the runs it has now gone right through the media system and is bursting forth with brown mess everywhere. The analogy should give you some sense of how I view the story.

This one may have eclipsed comedy.

Kevin Bridges ought to hang it up now.

In an exchange that took place I do not know where and do not care when John McEnroe – yes, the tennis player, for those old enough to remember; I know a lot of the younger guys are scratching their heads saying “Eh, who?” – was covering an Andy Murray match and although I care not in what context it came up, his co-commentator mentioned that Murray is a Hibs fan .

And McEnroe said, “I needed a little helping. Glasgow Rangers is as far as I’ve got.”

And this … this … is a story.

Apparently.

In some parallel universe where no actual news is taking place.

Perhaps the same parallel universe in which there’s still a club going by that name.

It is unclear where McEnroe recognises the name from; it’s highly unlikely that he gives a snails fart one way or the other. To be fair, the assorted clubs of Ibrox do get a lot of media attention, and it could just be that he picked up on some of that.

The liquidation. The court cases. The sectarianism. The racist fans. The dodgy directors. The tax fraud element. There’s a lot to choose from.

Isn’t this the day there are supposed to be, like, a rash of big signings over there?

I find it curious that the media has room for this crap in their publications when people must be working hard on profiles of the guys who are incoming, such as the wonderful ones last year which had Arsenal interested in Josh Windass, you know the Accrington Stanley player they are prepared to let go for free. There must surely be preparations afoot for them telling us how the Portuguese defender they are after was so close to signing for Spurs, who just didn’t move fast enough to secure his signature, his being 29 and a virtual unknown.

Or maybe this story is a wee “feel good” piece because some of the negotiations are already on the slide?

Who knows. But this is not news. It’s not even entertainment.

Sevco fans are said to be over the moon. At what exactly? I thought their fans believed they were “the biggest club in the world?” Shouldn’t they just shrug this off as nothing, as “Well of course he’s heard of us …” instead of pissing their pants.

It reminds me of that old Hollywood story, about the great director and now film historian Peter Bogdonovic, who’s first three films were such spell-binding successes that he was showered with accolades and attention, so much so that he became completely self-absorbed and arrogant to the point where he would no longer introduce himself to the people he met, assuming simply that if they didn’t already know who he was they weren’t worth knowing.

His career crashed after a series of flops, and those he has spurned or offended with his hauteur didn’t want to know him.

He found himself outcast in the very circles where he had once moved like a king.

Years later, after he’d had time for some self-reflection, he would walk up to people he admired at parties, hold out his hand and say “Hi, I really love your work. I used to be Peter Bogdonovic.”

Yes, and they used to be Rangers fans.

Back when it meant something.

Before the crash. Before the end.

Now they’re Sevco supporters, clinging to whatever small crumbs of comfort they can.

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