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Sevco Fans Are Dreaming Of Mike Ashley. How Dumb Can You Get?

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I love it when I wake up and find the Sevconuts have been howling at the moon overnight.

When I got up this morning I didn’t expect them to have gone full on Jeffrey Goines (for those who’ve seen Brad Pitt in Twelve Monkey’s you’ll get the picture) but lo and behold they are.

Madness has leapt into them, and they are going haywire.

Haywire waiting on Mike Ashley.

I kid you not. The news, last night, that a Chinese consortium is on the verge of buying a shareholding in Newcastle has been desperately grabbed by some sections of a support which has put two and two together and somehow made 1690. Ashley will sell the English club, make peace with Dave King and sink a fortune into Ibrox.

And all of this is already underway …

Oh my God … I mean, what can you say to that except, “Medication time … medication time …. medication time ….”

There has been a ton of garbage written over the years about Mike Ashley.

I am pleased to say that the Internet Bampots called all of it exactly that almost as soon as it was being put out there. Ashley was going to turn Sevco into contenders. He “needed a Champions League club” and Sevco was his best bet. He was “misunderstood” at Newcastle. Uhuh.

Even as recently as April The Daily Record was breathlessly suggesting that he would not tolerate Celtic being so far ahead of the Ibrox club, as if he ever gave a hoot.

Ashley knew exactly what he wanted from Ibrox.

He has it already, a merchandising deal which just won’t quit.

King thinks in six years or so he’ll be out of it; I wouldn’t put any money at all on that being the case. The newspaper have taken great delight in reporting that Ashley had been bested by King time and time again, and time and time again the Englishman has come back with a counter-move that has left the South African tax cheat reeling. I expect we’ll see more reversals in that fashion long before this saga comes to an end.

Sevco fans – who can’t stand the guy one day and are ready to throw open their doors to him the next – still believe the most foolish nonsense though. They really do believe a Scottish club playing in Europe will give Ashley more exposure for his brand than he’d get in the English Premiership, the biggest and most watched league in the world and with the TV deal to prove it. They note that even with all the billions floating around English football and imagine that he never properly invested in the club because that would have been “too expensive” but that he will see the potential in sinking tens of millions into an SPL side that’s never turned a profit.

I mean, what planet are these people living on? What they want above all is to turn back time, like the lunatic Brad Pitt is talking about in the movie, who only ever wants to watch the TV shows that were on the day before. Even Goines knows that’s not going to fly.

On top of that … have these people, like, just forgotten the last five years?

Are their principles so easily cast aside that they really would welcome this guy, who according to their supporter leaders has squeezed them and brutalised them for years, just on the off-chance he spends some of his cash?

Deary me.

They really do have no long-term memory these Peepul.

Sevco fans should just enjoy the moment.

I know they want a sugar-daddy to come along and tell them all the money that’s been spent is nothing to worry about, but it’s not going to happen. They should bask in the glory of having secured so many signings and try not to worry about it for a while.

In due course they’ll have plenty to be concerned with.

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