What planet is Barry Ferguson living on?
This time last week this football genius, this managerial colossus, this incredibly knowledgeable character was linked with the job at Airdrie. Some reports say he then “distanced himself” from the speculation. Others say Airdrie distanced themselves from it.
Either way, he’s been out of work, as a boss, since Clyde parted company with him.
He must be grateful to The Record for giving him a gig.
Otherwise whatever would he do?
Those big mortgages don’t pay themselves, now the gravy train has come to a halt.
But you read the standard of his work – a term I use loosely – and you realise that somewhere there are actual journalists going hungry. Instead of them, Scottish football gets this. And what nonsense is he coming out with today? Only that Sevco fans shouldn’t panic because at this stage of the season “results don’t matter.” It’s only when the “real stuff” begins that they should start to sweat, and piss their pants, and quake in fear as the horrible reality of Pedro sinks in.
I am paraphrasing, and I added that last bit on myself.
But really, he actually said that, that results up to now don’t matter. Which must be good to hear for all those fans who travelled to Luxembourg, as well as those who had already booked their trips to the next round tie. (Haha. Hard to feel sympathy for them, ain’t it?)
That news will also have gone down well in the boardroom, where financial projections were wholly dependent on a good European run. But hey, Bazza says it doesn’t matter, so that’s alright then. I guess those bills will just pay themselves, eah?
He’s telling fans not to get in a pre-season panic. It’s silly. As he learned once at the mighty Crewe. Who had a terrible pre-season apparently, and turned it around. To finish tenth. Yes, this is what he actually wrote. This is his actual point.
“These next two games are about building the fitness and an understanding within the system that Pedro Caixinha wants to deploy,” he wrote.
Because none of Pedro’s dozen or so competitive games in charge thus far (sterling record he has too) can be used as a guidepost, apparently.
This part is my favourite.
“I know some fans are in a bit of a flap about the lack of competitive games going into this campaign but there are still two weeks to go for them to make sure they hit the ground running in Lanarkshire.”
The lack of competitive games. If he’s talked about ones that actually get recorded in the history books, there have been two of them. One win and one defeat. Catastrophically, the defeat was the aforementioned European tie.
But if he means in terms of sides just “giving them a game”, well apart from those two matches they played a couple of closed door games, including one where their glorious youth team, along with a sprinkling of gold-dust from the first team (haha) lost to Tynecastle FC and another where they were just beaten by St Johnstone. Not competitive enough?
Anyway, who’s fault is it that they didn’t play more games? This was all decided last season; the point of pre-season beginning early was to get them up to speed for European football …. Oh stop it, Jesus, my sides are starting to get sore with the laughing …
And this font of all football wisdom had this to say about the new boys.
“Caixinha has brought in a host of decent signings. From what I’ve been hearing they are looking decent but it will mean nothing if they don’t fly out of the traps at Fir Park.”
So they are decent. Or at least he heard they are decent.
Where did he hear that?
Around The Daily Record offices?
Because Sevco fans who’ve actually, you know, watched the games would argue something very different indeed.
I love reading this guy, and Sevco fans on their way to the game with their fellow football cheats of Marseille will be delighted to learn that they can cast aside their doubts over Pedro because the European knockout didn’t matter anyway.