Date: 11th November 2017 at 3:41pm
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Chris Jack … you really have to give it to this guy, he is the leading light when it comes to sucking up to the Sevconuts and giving them what they want to hear. And last night, in his Evening Times column, he was expounding a theory so ludicrous it really has to be heard to be believed, and even then you won’t quite know if you’re being taken for a mug or not.

As regular readers will know, when the media was saying at the start of the week that McInnes was in the door within days I wasn’t so sure. Based on what I’d heard from a very reputable source, Murty is going to be given the time to get his “three in a row” of wins. Sevco directors pray he makes it. They can, therefore, appoint him until the campaign ends and see how he gets on. This will save them having to fund a new boss and spending in January.

They can’t afford to do that, so you can see why they want to dodge the bullet.

They believe – and not wrongly I might add – that there’s a growing number of their fans who believe Murty can do the job, as evidenced by a last minute goal at Celtic Park. Really, that appears to be his only qualification for the job, but it’s enough for many of them.

The “global managerial hunt” hasn’t even got round to them checking out the north of Scotland for the guy everyone in the media thinks is the perfect candidate. That they won’t even offer Aberdeen the paltry sum – to Celtic it would be chicken feed – that would secure him tells you everything you want to know about their diabolical position.

For all the media has been pushing McInnes though, there have been a steady stream of “big names” being linked with the post. The likes of the De Boer’s, Koeman, Van Bronckhorst, an Australian, a Belgian, a couple of Englishmen … all grist for the mill, all guys who would command respect at the start, but also high salaries and who’d come with big demands.

That’s why it won’t be any of them, of course, they are all massively out of Sevco’s reach and many of them are using the club to leverage better offers from their current or prospective employers; almost everyone knows how this works.

Sevco fans don’t appear to though.

For them, this is real. For them all these fantasy names prove that they are on the verge of a huge appointment, another “Moonbeam.” Chris Jack was not trying to shoot them down last night, but he was offering a weird alibi for the club just the same.

“The likes of Steve McClaren, Gus Poyet, Alan Pardew and Michel Preud’homme have been rumoured to be in the running but none of the quartet are likely to be given the chance to succeed Caixinha at Ibrox …”

Not “likely to be given the chance.” It’s like an ugly kid who’s never had a date saying it’s because none of the prettier girls were good enough for him.

As if these were real options, guys who had the begging bowl out, who were desperate for some sign from the Blue Room that they were wanted or loved. You almost feel sympathy for them. The club has looked at them – a Dutch title winner, a three times champions in Belgium, a guy who’s three time runner up in FA Cup Finals with different clubs and a guy who’s managed on four different continents and as a player won the lot.

Not good enough though. None of them. Not even for an interview.

In another media environment that would be filed away by rival reporters and used to taunt him mercilessly when Murty is unveiled as the choice; a man who had something that none of the big names do. And the question would be asked as to what that is.

Chris Jack is such a sycophant. He swallows the Ibrox PR line whole and then regurgitates it nearly word for word, but I think this is all his own work. If so he should take a bow. A career in situation comedy might not be outside of his abilities.