I like to read, and every now and again a subject grabs my attention. I don’t always completely understand exactly what I’m reading but I try to think I can grasp concepts. The one about alternative realities always fascinates me and so does the one about energy and matter. Before I get to alternative realities, let’s talk about that one.
The world around us is real only in that appears to be. Yet every single thing we see and interact with is simply a collection of molecules ordered into something our minds can understand. Nothing is “solid”; even the table I’m sitting at right now is simply a process of chemical and electrical interactions. Some outlandish theories believe the world itself is constructed inside the human mind; that individual consciousness is what shapes all around us.
If that’s the case then Sevco fans should be even more worried than they are now; if human consciousness really did build the world they see in front of them then their lives aren’t going to get any better. Cause I think Celtic fans like this construct pretty well. If we really have shaped it then imagine what happens to those poor sods next.
They, of course, choose to believe in other things.
They choose to believe in the theory of alternative realities. They choose to believe that somewhere in the dimensions of time and space is another Earth, running in parallel to this, in which the Billy Boys is the national anthem and David Murray is as well respected in the game as Johan Cruyff.
And in that reality, perhaps, The Daily Record hotline headline of today makes some sense; “Rangers star Alfredo Morelos is worth twice as much as Moussa Dembele.”
Let’s deal with this in an appropriate way.
Because The Record likes to troll us with these headlines.
But that one is not trolling us as much as it’s trolling the paper and those who continue to phone its ridiculous number. That’s a premium rate phone call; do these people not get that the Record has a hand in their pockets even as its hacks laugh in their faces?
The people who phone it are those who actually read and believe what’s in that rag and anyone in Scottish football stupid enough to still be doing that is beyond helping. But think of the total lack of self-awareness it takes to phone that number and make a point so stupid as this. Think of the sense of pride that comes with getting your name in the papers, only for people to look at you funny when you walk into the pub.
But to tackle this properly you have to take it semi-seriously, as difficult as that is to do.
Even at the lowest estimate of what we would fetch for Dembele, we’re talking around the £15 million mark. Is Morelos really worth £30 million? Does anyone, even the most delusional eejit in the Sevco support, really think so? Is he worth one third of that? Is he worth a tenth of it?
Morelos has 12 goals this season.
10 were in the SPL and 2 were in the League Cup, scored against Dunfermline. Of his league goals, all but two were scored against teams in the bottom six. Think on that for a minute. All but two. He played their two European games against Progres. He did not score in either, as they crashed out in disgrace.
Moussa has had a quiet season thus far, one plagued by injuries.
He has scored eight goals, including one in a cup final, two in a semi-final, two at Pittodrie and one against PSG in the Champions League. Even in a disappointing campaign, Moussa has scored goals in big games when the chips were down. He has scored big goals when it mattered.
Last season he scored three hat-tricks. Sevco fans should remember one of them; it was against their hapless team. The others were scored in the space of a week, in February, as he gunned down Inverness and St Johnstone. Along the way he scored Champions League goals, a League Cup final goal and one in the semi against Sevco. In the Scottish Cup he was the architect of young Callum McGregor’s wonderful opener.
Added to that, he’s scored, regularly, for the French Under 21’s.
Moussa Dembele is a £20 million plus player for those reasons.
He has done it when it matters, and not just against SPL bottom six clubs and in friendly matches.
There may be a universe where Morelos is worth twice what he is, but it’s not this one. And no amount of Sevco wishful thinking can make it so. Not even the concept of reality as a conscious construct is going to get them there; these Peepul read The Daily Record.
Their collective intellect is not going to redefine the universe as recognised by NASA.