Wow. Just wow.
Let’s start with the headline; “Rangers winning their 55th league title will be celebrated more than any Celtic balance sheet.” How click-baity is that shite?
First what does that even mean? Even if you take away the fact that Rangers are dead and never will win a 55th title, even if you don’t believe – as I do – that sooner or later some of those titles which are on record are going to have to go, even if you think Sevco is the same club, anyone who’s “waiting on 55” ought to be hoping for a pill that increases life expectancy threefold first. Because that might be how long it takes for them to even mount a challenge.
When did we ever celebrate a balance sheet anyway? The only people I ever hear doing that are the Scottish press whenever Sevco releases one which shows “wow, they’ve reduced their losses! They are the healthiest club in world football!”
I understand the petty, snide jealousy over our being a well-run club, able to sustain itself and its title winning squad year on year without getting into ruinous debt … ruinous, you know, in the way that destroys clubs, that destroyed any prospect of 55.
But this kind of stuff is pathetic.
The feel-good factor calls are barking mad. Full of people saying how good it is to see Real Rangers Men on the park once more. As if Matt Goss (I know that’s not his name, but I neither remember what it is nor feel any particular need to care) has supported them his entire life instead of finding love for them in the last two days.
The first idiot talks about how “exciting” times are for the club right now; that’s probably an appropriate word. No money, legal problems mounting, six years of mistakes, dreadful players to get rid of, a temporary manager, third in the league … a white knuckle ride for sure. Never a dull moment. Except I’m not sure that’s what this halfwit means ….
He elaborates with this wonderful section on their woeful right-back.
“One thing I feel strongly about is that James Tavernier shouldn’t move to England. He isn’t the finished full back yet and to swap a club that will play in Europe for the Championship would be crazy.”
Yeah because who wants to play for a settled team and make good money when you could be stuck at a club in freefall and experience the joys of being out of the Europa League by a team whose name you can’t spell, who finished fifth the season past in a fourth tier country?
The next guy had this to say;
““At last the club are beginning to get a bit of Rangers back into Rangers. Ross McCrorie, Kenny Miller, Jamie Murphy and Andy Halliday … Now let’s get Jamie Walker and Kenny McLean and we’re well on the road to have guys who want to pull the light blue jerseys over their heads.”
Yeah … good to have back Andy Halliday who most Sevco fans couldn’t wait to be shot of. And Jamie Walker? Dear oh dear. Behind the times, aren’t they? Kenny Miller? Isn’t he nearly 40? There’s more chance of me carrying them into the future.
And then the True Idiot of the piece puts his tuppence in; the Headline Goon himself.
“I knew it wouldn’t be long before regular Celtic callers got out their Christmas calculators and spoke about money and double trebles after the Invincibles failed to put Murty’s Marauders in their place. It must be galling for them knowing that when Rangers win title number 55 it will be seen as more of an achievement and acknowledged more than any balance sheet.”
Dear God. Murty’s Marauders. I bet this geezer still wets the bet.
Another called wants Kieran to move to England. Another thinks Jimmy Nicholl is a better signing than any we’re likely to make.
I know Celtic fans – allegedly anyway – call this ridiculous “hotline”; you’re giving money to the enemy and associating yourself and your opinion with people whose brain cells couldn’t generate the juice of a pocket calculator. Why do you do it?