I’ll keep this brief; it is becoming ever more apparent that if you lined up the editorial team at Ibrox Noise and popped a group of rhesus monkeys beside them, and asked each group to do a multiple choice questionnaire I reckon it would be a toss of the coin as to who got the most right. The monkeys would chew the paper. They would throw their shit at each other. They would end up swinging from the rafters. But I still think it would be close.
This is the website which spent the first half of the season demanding a clear out at the club and now thinks the likes of Windass and Tavernier will fetch bids in the millions; Tavernier, it priced at £5 million in an article yesterday which I was too amazed at even to mock.
Today it’s published a piece called “Why Is Morelos Worth £11 Million?”
In that article, it makes bizarre claims; that the media talks down the value of its players. That no-one raises an eyebrow when Hearts sign someone (although what that has to do with the issue of Morelos I do not know and they don’t make any attempt to explain), and above all else how their club gets treated differently and “the normal rules do not apply to us.”
Oh don’t we bloody well know it, and lament it often.
Except I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing, or seeing this the same way.
This line is typical of the self-pitying nonsense their writers believe in and which has made them a source of great mockery down through the last couple of years. A Hibs blog mentioned them the other day; it was not to suggest that they be nominated for any awards, I can assure you. These guys are becoming infamous.
Their headline today is a beauty though, and I can answer it in one sentence; “he isn’t.”
But they believe otherwise.
They’ve pointed out that a lot of us have said this is a PR stunt. We have. We know that it is. Because their club doesn’t have a pot to piss in and pretty soon might not have a window to throw it out either, and they would never have turned down the initial reported bid of £6 million far less these pie in the sky ones the media keeps pushing.
Read this gem of a line;
“Also, why did no one suspect the same about Craig Gordon to Sunderland, or Victor Wanyama to Spurs, or Van Dijk also to St Mary’s?”
Ahem … maybe because those bids were real and those deals were actually done? I’m just guessing, but that could well be something to do with it.
Their argument is that Scottish clubs do occasionally sell players for big money; that is correct. But they’ve missed the important point … those players have to be worth it. Nobody believes Morelos is worth that kind of cash. Nobody.
They have always believed we hyped the value of Wanyama amongst others; he has gone from Southampton to become a mainstay at Spurs.
You know, the team that just drew 2-2 in Turin this past week.
They think we hyped the value of Van Dijk.
Who just starred in a Liverpool team which thrashed Porto at home.
They think the Gordon story linking him to Chelsea was a flight of fancy; except that Gordon is a Scottish international who had been playing in the Champions League.
They believe going from the Finnish league to the SPL has increased Morelos’ value; well, Timo Pukki went from scoring goals in the Finnish league to the Bundesliga, where he scored goals including some in Europe against top clubs. We paid a mere £2 million for him and he wasn’t even worth that. Morelos has scored half as many goals as Moult scored last season … where did he end up and how much did he go for? Where was the Chinese offer for him?
You can’t talk sense to these people. It just doesn’t work.
Sevco, they claim, are the platform that has shown Morelos off. They are, the website claims, “a colossally bigger club with far more exposure” than HJK Helsinki, but this is all part of this “Sevco as a global brand” bollocks which has been scorched again and again and again; even Rangers was seen as nothing more than a West of Scotland football club with a rabid following in part of the North of Ireland because they pander to the bigot pound and small enclaves amongst the Scottish diaspora worldwide.
Their former director Hugh Adam investigated this “global appeal” nonsense back in the 90’s and found that it was non-existent. Far from having a “soft spot” for the club most ex-pat Scot’s actively despise them. Those folks are generally fiercely patriotic.
Do you think Sevco’s appeal – and they are a club with a far smaller footprint than Rangers – has been enhanced by Britishness days and the rabid No campaign which took root in their stands and amongst their forums at the time?
This is all delusional rubbish; their best chance of putting players in a shop window where people might actually have noticed them was when the club was still in Europe; Progres took care of that though. Morelos played in both legs.
These Peepul believe they could net upwards of £20 million for three players; Morelos, Tavernier and Josh Windass.
That, alone, should put them beyond the line of mere ridicule.
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