Think of every inspirational sports slogan you have ever seen or heard.
Think of every time you saw a player explode one into the top corner, and imagine how his boot sponsor must have felt about it.
Look around Celtic Park at the ad boards and the giant NB across the stand.
Think players going to EA Sports to have their avatars put into FIFA.
Think about companies which talk about making winners.
About striving to be the best.
Ad campaigns featuring gleaming stadiums under the floodlights and rousing music in the background.
Messi. Ronaldo. Neymar.
Now think about water dripping off a rusty crossbar, a sodden pitch with no players on it, out in the rain like a cat somebody locked out of the house.
Think of players blootering heavy balls with training shoes on and fat guys trying to run the length of the pitch after eighteen beers and a curry the night before.
Think about a dejected amateur sitting in the mud, after his team has just been given a hiding, and a solitary scarf lying pitch-side.
You might think they don’t make ad campaigns like that, and you’d be right but it’s only because “be the fourth best” really would sound kind of weird.
But if you think there are no sportswear firms for the losers then you would be very, very wrong.
Because there are, and Sevco are having their next kit made by one.
Last night, my sister sent me Hummel’s mission statement and by God it is a beauty.
A masterpiece of satire, although I am certain it was not supposed to be.
But taken with the news about Sevco, it really is a wonderful part of this story.
This is posted on their website, and it’s really worth a look.
“Our sponsorships focus on uniqueness. Unique culture, values and individuals daring to break conventions in order to reach their goals,” it says.
And Sevco are probably quite happy with that part because they are certainly unique and their culture and values are certainly distinctive, as every single person in Scotland is all too aware.
And breaking conventions in order to reach their goals?
Put a tic next to that as well; conventions, regulations, rules, laws … anything really.
But here’s where it’s especially applicable, and this makes me laugh.
“We also look for the underdogs – those who rarely win, but where the soul, legacy and dreams are sometimes even bigger. Because for us it is about more than providing quality jerseys and equipment – it is about showing our belief in each and every player, team and fan – as we are fellow soulmates in the pursuit of a victorious dream …”
Hummel: where every shite team has a place in our hearts.
Hummel: For The Losers.
Because they have dreams too.
Imagine having to put that on a billboard?
Yep, it takes a special kind of sportswear manufacturer to quite so brazenly admit that they cater to the also-ran.
One which knows that not every aspiring footballer can be Scott Brown, where some players are just plain old Andy Halliday instead.
Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?
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