Charlie Nicholas is not a favourite of this website. That goes without saying. He is one of the stupidest people making a living in broadcast journalism, the sort of person who makes you weep for the standard of our public debates, even the football ones.
Today he spoke on Sky Sports News about the Steven Gerrard thing and the words that came out of his mouth might have been in English but they were embarrassing nonetheless. His employers should be questioning the wisdom of putting him on the telly at all.
“They’ve got me a bit concerned, I have to admit,” he said, and he is the only person who self-defines as a Celtic fan (although I refute the suggestion that he is) who I’ve heard say that yet. “I think it’s an iconic signing. People have been telling me that it’s as big as Gazza) no it’s not, it’s bigger than that.”
Or it would be if Gerrard was actually, you know, playing instead of doing a job he’s never done before. You might as well, as Dave Campbell said the other day, hire Robert De Niro for the job and talk about the acting awards he’s won.
“The last big thing that happened like this was Souness joining Rangers. Celtic didn’t have the money then and it was an easy league to compete against. But he sorted it Souness, this is similar, very similar.”
Did you get all that? Did it make sense to you?
Let’s break it down.
“This is like Souness joining Rangers.”
Really? Souness came as a player/manager. Is Gerrard doing that? Will he go out and immediately sign two England internationals? No, of course he won’t and we’re all well aware that he won’t.
“Celtic didn’t have the money then.”
Correct. Rangers had the money, sugar-daddy wealth. It was, in fact, the start of the sugar-daddy era at that club. We do have the money now, and they don’t. We are the huge side. They are not. So quite how this scenario is the same I do not know.
“It was an easy league to compete against?”
Really? Both Aberdeen and Dundee Utd had won leagues and done well in Europe not that long before. Is he thick or what?
“But he sorted it, Souness.”
Yes he did. With other people’s money.
“This is similar, very similar.”
Actually it’s different. Very different. For the reasons I’ve stated above amongst others.
““I know they’re playing catch-up with Celtic,” he said next. “But I was impressed with the way he spoke yesterday.”
What the Hell does the way Gerrard spoke have to do with his abilities as a manager? I read this same gushing pish in a dozen articles this morning; guess what? The same people were rattling the same stuff out in relation to Warburton and Caixinha and they never shut up about what a nice guy, what a good media person, Graeme Murty is.
Hey, Nicholas did not descend to the ludicrous sick-bucket level of Neil Cameron and his comparison between the Ibrox Blue Room and “a wedding suite waiting for the bride” but some of the general tone of the coverage has been vomit-inspiring.
Chris Sutton at least got to the guts of it today when someone suggested to him that Gerrard can come up here and learn his trade and cut his teeth without difficulty. Sutton, who unlike some of these eejits has experience of playing here, destroyed that argument in one of his famous rants. I may not agree with everything he says, but Sutton stands up for the game here and respects it in a way that idiots like Nicholas never, ever will.
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