Date: 14th May 2018 at 2:11pm
Written by:

The headline says it all.

Gerrard might have one last gig to do as a Liverpool employee – touring TV studios for the European final in which he will not have even the most fleeting role – but from this moment forward, as Sevco has no more pitiful floundering to do this season, he is theirs and they are his.

I would say I wish him luck, but of course I don’t. I don’t even wish him survival, because his dismissal is something I will celebrate with the joy of a Transylvanian village after the local bloodsucker has been staked. I don’t even know if I wish him to emerge relatively undamaged from the experience of managing at Basket Case FC; the job has a way of hurting careers. My feelings on that will depend on his conduct throughout.

But we’re off to a bad start, I have to say.

Why does every incumbent in that job have to start by coming out with the most absurd PR dreck?

Every Liverpool fan he meets is suddenly a Sevco supporter? Who fed him that absolute bullshit? Who thought it was a good idea to talk that kind of nonsense? And is anybody out there, whether in the media or in the wider world, really daft enough to believe it?

Who exactly is a fairy-tale like that for?

Easy answer I guess; the most gullible fans in world football.

One paper this morning said that Sevco’s support base is about to massively expand; what tripe.

Anyone who believes that should get in touch with me ASAP. I have a bridge to sell them.

If they want to inhabit a fantasy world like that they are fully entitled to do so but if they want to dream about a huge upturn in finance as a result of it – the only thing they care about in relation to making new friends – they are in for a rude awakening.

On top of that, the media has seen fit to announce Scott Arfield as “Gerrard’s first signing.” Do these people think we are mugs or something? Gerrard had the sum total of zero to do with that. That’s no more Gerrard’s first signing than Craig Gordon was Ronny’s first.

We don’t expect honesty from these people, but to try and pass this off without contradiction implies that the media thinks its audience is thick.

But Arfield is the sign of the times. It’s still not clear who will actually be making the signings for Sevco’s next campaign, and the media seems entirely uninterested in pressing the issue. Gerrard will get “the final say” some of the hacks have said … it’s put out there like it’s nothing. But those words virtually beg you to give them closer scrutiny.

What does “final say” actually mean? It means that Allen will present him with a shortlist and tell him “these are the guys we’re going for. You get to decide who the first choice is.”

And that is not “total control” by any stretch of the imagination.

A manager is not in “total control” if all he’s doing is choosing something off a menu put together by someone else. In order to disguise that fact, the Arfield signing needs to be dressed up a bit … hence the whole “this is the first player to arrive under Steven Gerrard” nonsense of today.

Allen didn’t even try to hide it; his words should be a stern warning to any Sevco fan who harbours the slightest notion that Gerrard will be picking players.

“What I can say is that the manager is fully conversant with this signing, as part of my conversations prior to him joining,” Allen said. “He was made fully aware of the target players and was more than happy to endorse Scott. The signing comes with the manager’s blessing.”

It’s Gerrard’s own comments that will damn him though, and he’s already off and running with the supremacist guff. Celtic have “had it their own way too long” he says as if there was no other team in the country, as if beating us meant everything would be okay. Ask Aberdeen, for all their weaknesses and all their underachievement; they still took second place. Ask Hibs, who if they’d beaten Hearts in midweek would have been third.

The last week started with talk of King bringing in millions in outside investment to fund the managerial war-chest people said Gerrard “must have been promised.” But some of us had a different take on why he’s here; he believes this nonsense about them already being better than every other team. He believes finishing second in the SPL and reaching the odd cup final is simply a matter of showing up.

His own ego has tricked him into thinking he can “do a Brendan” and turn a poor team into winners … and it’s a nice theory except Brendan inherited a title winning side full of international players and had the finances to add quality to it.

Today the excitement over there is palpable. But yesterday, a day when they lost five goals for the second time in a month, should have rung alarm bells; that’s being ignored. The feel-good mood over there is everything, and we have months of this to come.

But as ever, it will all come undone when the football actually starts.

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