Yesterday I wrote about the Wayne Rooney nonsense.
You’d have thought that the story itself was so ludicrous that it would have got one mention and swiftly been forgotten by a media that had suffered enough embarrassment through it, but you would have been wrong. Because this is the story that just refuses to die.
Last night, I listened in incredulity as it was being discussed on Sky as if it were a serious proposition and not absolute bollocks. The show The Debate featured a quite surreal discussion between Paul Merson and Craig Bellamy where they gave this story more credence than it would ever be worth. Bellamy said the move to America and the MLS would be the best one for him. Merson thought that he would be better moving to Ibrox.
What part of this are these muppets down south missing? Which part of the picture are they not seeing, or not seeing clearly at any rate? Which part of “Gerrard’s new club couldn’t afford his bus fare up here” has escaped the attentions of everyone in England?
Did nobody down there follow The Lying King and his barmy press conference? Does nobody know that Sevco doesn’t have the proverbial pot to piss in? Do they really look up here and see Sevco as some kind of sleeping superpower?
Did they not follow 2012, and the liquidation of Rangers?
I wrote earlier in the week that one of the most interesting things about the Gerrard saga thus far is that it has exposed the colossal ignorance in England of Scottish football and the issues that surround it, but I genuinely thought there was some basic comprehension of the facts. On what planet do they think Sevco could afford this guy? On what planet does Merson really believe that this was a realistic prospect?
The Evening Time was getting in on the act too; they have an article up on there and on The Herald’s site – Neil Cameron, at his finest – which reads, and I swear I am not making this up “Wayne Rooney WON’T be joining Steven Gerrard’s Rangers revolution – here’s why.”
Why? Cause they are skint, perchance?
But no, the article is about his MLS offer, as if without that there was some prospect of this coming to pass.
Are these people absolutely stone stupid?
The logic of it, even without the massive wages – his MLS offer is worth £12 million; that’s much more than Gerrard’s entire budget is likely to be – escapes me; an Everton supporter, playing for that club, a player with well-known Celtic sympathies is going to reject a move to America to join Sevco because their manager is the former captain of Liverpool? Yeah, my money is on the opposite of this happening, and for more than financial reasons.
But not to worry because on top of a story this morning that says the club is about to enter the “bidding war” for John McGinn (in which Sevco would be blown out like a candle on a windy day) The Record has four suggestions as to who else might sign on the dotted line at Sevco since Rooney clearly won’t be.
Are you ready for this?
Their own hot tips for a “possible reunion” are Torres (of course; another idiotic story that refuses to die), Pepe Reina, Maxi Rodriguez and Mario Balotelli.
I can hear you laughing.
Believe me, I would be too except that I know this is just getting started.
We have a summer of this bullshit in front of us.
You might be asking where trash like this comes from; there’s an easy answer to that, of course. These are players Ladbrokes are linking with a move. Each even comes with odds; Torres is 7/2, Reina is 9/2, Rodriguez is 5/1 and Balotelli is 8/1.
Only the biggest mug would touch any of those odds. And even as I write that I know Sevco fans will be placing their bets. There really is one born every minute, especially in Larkhall.
And what is Ladbrokes up to with this kind of drivel? Well that’s easy enough to understand; they are represented in Scotland by a company you’ve probably heard of; Level 5 PR. And that should give you all the insight you need because we all know who their top man is and we all know what his day job actually involves and who he does it for. Their current role is flogging season tickets to the most gullible fans in all of Europe.
Which I trust explains the whole thing.
That doesn’t make it any less ludicrous, or insulting to the intelligence of readers. At a time like this it helps to remember that we’re not the target audience of this kind of stuff and that it’s propaganda to entice fools to part with their money … but national newspapers, using their editorial pages to push such pitiful agendas … it’s a bad time for journalism.
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