All partied out, folks?
Yeah, it’s been some weekend, right?
Do yourself a favour tonight; suit up in your safety gear, clear an hour from your schedule and take a dip in the swamp.
Check out Follow Follow.
Check out SevcoMedia.
Read their take on our seven titles, our double treble, our Invincible season, our boss, our players and yes, all of us fans.
Your mind will be blown. It is awesome.
I cannot promise you that you will find all of it pleasant. You certainly won’t. The safety clothes are not, alas, to be regarded as an optional extra but as a cold necessity. Sevco Land is a cesspit. Their forums are a swamp badly in need of dredging. Think a holiday camp run by the KKK. That’s the general ambience. That’s the overall tone.
But it’s instructive, and I urge you to do it nonetheless.
The thread I find most amazing is the so-called Generic Laugh At Celtic thread which features on SevcoMedia. Suffice to say, there’s not been a lot of laughter on there of late. In fact, every now and again one of their regulars will go on there and have a rant about the very existence of such a thread, and how when we’re streets ahead of them it’s a brass neck.
Instead of laughing at us, the thread has descended, over time, into one of outright viciousness and hate.
The pain is palpable in it, and the pain is what I suggest you go and experience for yourself, that and the delusion that roars out of every thread. The seven pages of “You’d Think Glasgow Was A One Club City” are particularly amusing, as is the one entitled “F@@king Sick Of It …”
Why do I take such pleasure in their suffering?
First, I remember the 90’s, as I’ve said on here a few times before. But I also remember the last six years and how we all have to live with the Survival and Victim Lies and the way they’ve bent rules and regulations and the way their hatred has swelled in that time. I follow their pages now, and their social media accounts and I see nothing but supremacist bile, casual racism and sectarian sentiment. It makes them easy to dislike. It makes it a pleasure to mock them.
I know they think this is obsessive; go and read those pages and tell me who is obsessed. Their entire lives are defined by the way we keep them down. They spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about us and concocting the most atrocious conspiracy theories about us. They talk about “obsessed Timmy” and how it’s “all about the Rangers” in threads which are 100% about Celtic and Celtic fans. And they don’t see any contradiction in that at all.
I am not obsessed with them any more than I am with great American TV shows. They are both a form of entertainment. They amuse me. They are something to do on a night when there’s not much else going on. Supping on the fine wine of their pain has taken on the same attraction for me as some folk get watching porn; this is the Celtic fan’s version of that. Is it healthy? A lot more so than sitting in their stands must be. Is it thrilling? Most definitely. Does it make me feel soothed and relaxed of an evening? Oh Hell yes, better than a massage.
Raking through the muck on those forums is worth it when you find one of those little gems that bring a smile to your face and laughter to your life. Like the guy posted this, about our seven in a row; “I hate the fact that 4 of them we haven’t been in the league for. We couldn’t influence it at all …” to which the very next poster replied, with some sense; “It also makes me sick that even when we have been in the league we haven’t been able to influence it …”
And that’s about as close to reality and acceptance as some of them will ever come.
One guy on that thread tried to cheer his mates up with this beauty; “Depressing as it’s been we can only hope things are going to start changing from next season. And we can give thanks that in 2018 we are still part of the Union. That was at least one key battle the rhepublicans didn’t win.”
A statement that’s missing the end of the sentence “… yet.”
That particular thread ends with the realisation that Phil has been trolling it on Twitter. That’s one of the things that makes it so much fun to do.
“The day after a double treble, and they are on a (Rangers) forum …” one said, pretending to find it funny instead of excruciating. Hey, it’s two days after it and we’re all partied out for the moment. So what better way to unwind than by laughing at the dumbest fans on Earth? And as that’s the aim, where else but their forums would we be?
Just because they throw a juvenile word at us, it doesn’t mean we’re going to stop laughing at them. Would you stop laughing at a loud-mouth who’d got his head stuck between two railings just because he said you were hanging around because you didn’t have a life?
What in life could be more fun than watching his wee face going all red with embarrassment and anger? What could be better than mocking him about the dog that just pissed down the side of his trousers or the young kids who’ve drawn on his coupon with magic markers?
It’s free fun, which even with the popcorn thrown is still cheaper than renting a movie;
They really think the coming summer will be special for them. They forget that they thought the same last summer, and kept on believing it all the way to the closure of the window. They expressed their delight at “how good the quality was” even as I was suggesting that if St Johnstone had signed the same players nobody would even have noticed.
This summer they expect big names. They can’t say how they will be paid for, but they expect them just the same. They believe Gerrard is some kind of miracle worker, although not one shred of evidence for that actually exists as he’s never managed a team of adults in his life. They believe his very presence at Ibrox will bring the big names to the club … a concept so ludicrous I wrote a mocking piece on it today when I heard Frank Lampard might get the Ipswich gig.
You can read that article here.
But if you really want to feast your eyes on a banquet of delights, their forums are wide open and I suggest you jump in. But safety first, folks. Put on your full radiation suit before you even walk through the door. You’re going to need it.