Sometimes you read something in the Scottish media that is so absurd you wonder where in the Hell they got it from. Sometimes you read something that is so ridiculous it makes you doubt the sanity of everyone who was involved in putting it into print or sending it into the world online. And yesterday I read one of those stories.
Wayne Rooney. To Sevco. And this wasn’t just in one paper, with one idiot hack putting up the scrapings of the internet; this was in all of them. Listing Rooney as one of the “favourites” to sign for Gerrard’s coming Sevco revolution. One of the favourites. It makes you wonder how ridiculous the rest of them are.
How does anyone think this is news? This is fantasy football nonsense right out of the imagination of a Union Bear. Why don’t we ask these delusional muppets what their solution to the Middle East peace process is whilst we’re at it?
Because it could not be any stupider than this.
Let’s start with openers; Rooney is at his absolute favourite club right now. His boyhood club. And as his manager has said, nobody is walking away from that unless the offer is right. And how right can Sevco’s offer be? Is the skint SPL side going to suddenly find an estimated £1 million per month including bonuses? Honestly, who comes up with this stuff?
The rumour mill has already linked them to moves for Skrtel, which has already been quashed, and to dreams of Fernando Torres; none of these players will be at Ibrox and neither will any other EPL star of the last ten years. It is not going to happen.
Today Sevco has opened talks to make the Jason Cummings move permanent; there is your answer to the Gerrard transfer warchest riddle right there. If that club was going to give him serious money do you really think they’d be scrambling to sign the Notts Forest reject whose contribution to their season thus far has been virtually nil?
Jason Cummings is a Scottish Championship footballer; this is the calibre of signing you can expect. There is no pot of gold, far less the truckload of it that would be needed to go after some of the footballers these eejits believe they’ll see arriving.
It is going to be great watching these delusions unravel over the summer.
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