Andy Goram. The idiot’s idiot.
Yes, this one.
At a time when we’re dredging up the sins of the past, I think it’s a good idea to remind people of what a double standard looks like.
The next time he appears as a guest of the Ibrox regime, or at Hampden, think on that picture.
If the average footballer isn’t going to get into Mensa, then what to say about a guy like this?
He’s thicker than a concrete milkshake. When I think of people from Scottish football’s long history who I wouldn’t want running a chip shop he’s one of the folk who comes to mind. I always thought a managerial double-act of him and John Brown would have been hilarious. Bitter and Bitterer.
They would not have been challenging for honours, that’s for sure.
Goram drifts in and out of the papers and I guess we should be thankful that’s all he does. This is a man who’s literally too dumb to get a job at a national title in an era where the likes of Kris Boyd, Barry Ferguson and Derek Johnstone still turn copy in. Not even Neil Cameron would sanction a gig for this guy, and he boasted about hiring Lee McCulloch.
Today he’s got his name in the tabloids by jumping onto the Steven Gerrard bandwagon. Of course. It seems that every ex player who fancies getting back in the spotlight knows he only has to call his favourite reporter and offer a few words on the record and they are suddenly in the public eye. Gerrard is a good story to piggy-back on and they know it.
Almost every commentary on him is vacuous nonsense, with people saying a lot of meaningless fluff. Goram actually had something to say, and I congratulate him on that at least. He didn’t bother with all the usual garbage which is so prevalent elsewhere – “If Gerrard gets £100 million to spend he would be able to catch Brendan Rodgers” and other variations on the theme – he actually had an observation to share, a little Andy Goram insight.
Of course, it’s ridiculous, but the Scottish media doesn’t take points off for that.
His assertion was that it would have been better had Gerrard come as player-manager because he would have been the best player in Scotland and would have easily dominated any rival midfielder. I wonder who he could have been thinking of?
Gerrard is 38. He last played professional football two years ago, in the United States. Without giving offence to that particular league, it’s still seen by a lot of European players as a holiday destination. You aren’t going to go from a two-year hiatus from playing the game at all to stroll around the SPL as if you own the pitch. And certainly not when the final two years of your career were spent in an actual stroll, in a football environment where bling is king.
This is not Goram adopting a pro-Sevco stance. This is just another typically myopic view of Scottish football from someone who deep down sneers at the standard of the game. This is an insult – although probably not an intended one – to every player up here, but to certain players in particular of whom Scott Brown is only the most prominent.
I agree with him on one count; that Gerrard would be an improvement on any player in the current Sevco midfield, but that’s really not such a glittering group of footballers. Many are the textbook definition of “lower league quality.”
We’ve heard all this nonsense before, of course.
Barton was going to come up here and simply boss people about and run the show. He lasted even less time than many of us thought he would, having not seen even six months of his contract out before it was torn up and he was sent on his way back to England. Amazingly, he performed reasonably well down there after his return which demonstrates clearly that the standard up here is better than he imagined.
It’s better than Goram imagines too, but when your brain power is so meagre that the few cells rattle like peas in a tin cup when you’re walking down the street, that ought not to come as a surprise.