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We See A Lot Of Additions To The Squad In La La Land, But Absolutely Nothing To Fear.

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Look closely. What do you see?

This time last year, Sevco was positively radiant with hope and why not? They were spending money. They were spending more money than Celtic. They had signed international players, albeit from Mexico. They were signing players from Portugal. The club looked like it was heading in a brand new direction, a continental direction. Glad times indeed.

Progres changed all that.

I was on a flight to Gran Canaria when the second leg was being played.

When, upon landing, my brother in law called up the plane to me that Sevco had been knocked out I thought – I honestly thought – he’d been drinking too much on the flight or that someone had played a mad joke on him.

It was ridiculous, even for those of us who had looked at their signings and seen nothing at all to be concerned about.

I said at the time that if St Johnstone had signed some of these guys we would have forgotten all about them. With the Mexican’s you never knew, because they seemed – on the surface – to have some pedigree but even that was illusory; the question as to why they were still plying their trade at home instead of abroad was a valid one. Alves was hailed in all quarters as a masterstroke signing and the proof that they were seriously to be feared.

At no point was I in the least bit worried.

Sevco fans could not be told this; they were over the moon and “going for 55”.

Since the summer began their fans have been even more sure that their next triumph is just around the corner. Gerrard’s appointment has been acclaimed from all quarters and the media … well they are star-struck as though they’d never seen an ex-pro before. He has made a number of signings already, and that has fed into the general conviction.

But who exactly are the game-changers who have arrived here?

Scott Arfield, last seen in Scotland in a Falkirk shirt and who couldn’t get a game for Scotland to the extent that he decided to play for Canada instead.

Allan McGregor, forgiven already for being one of the first people to call the Survival Lie the absolute bollocks it is, who stunningly now accepts it. He’s not exactly David De Gea.

They resigned a winger who didn’t help them last season, an unknown defender from the far flung corners of Eastern Europe who the papers were comparing to Luka Modric who plays wide. Him and a Brighton reserve who had heart surgery in his 20’s. Also a Liverpool youth on loan and a thug who beats women, signed on a free.

And tonight rumours of a striker from Roma Reserves who’s been out on loan.

Game changing? Striking fear into your hearts yet?

Capping it all off, the man himself, the man in the dugout, has never managed a senior team of pros in his life and he doesn’t even have the requisite license to coach in half of Europe’s top leagues. If this all looks messy it’s because it is.

Just days after I got off the plane to Gran Canaria, Celtic put in place its biggest signing of the window when we paid £4.5 million for Olivier Ntcham. I had never heard of him either, but he was coming from Manchester City’s fabled youth academy and had spent a year out on loan in Italy. It was clearly a blue-chip signing and he’s proved it. On top of it, he became part of a swaggering squad of Invincibles who’d just won a treble and you knew if he was good enough to get into that team he was going to pretty damned good indeed.

Sevco’s players will all be first team regulars; that’s a given. They are replacing the dross of the last two years, players who were hailed as glorious game-changers when they were signed, much as the current crop are. And they were managed by experienced bosses.

Context is everything; a week ago I pointed out that we’ve spent more on a new pitch and a bunch of lightbulbs than Sevco has spent on its team. We’ve since signed a player who, with add-ons, will smash our transfer record all to Hell and gone.

And even just the pitch and lights currently still outspend them by the way.

But be afraid, Celtic fans. Sevco are coming.

Of course they are. Eventually, maybe, but not anytime soon.

And only if they live long enough.

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