Date: 8th August 2020 at 8:31pm
Written by:

The forums buzz and hum tonight with talk of conspiracies.

Confusions reigns as ever as the dumbest people on Planet Football try to get their story straight.

Desperation wafts off them.

From the moment the Aberdeen-St Johnstone game was called off, I knew they’d be off to the races.

Watching them try and square the circle has been extremely amusing.

At first the conspiracy was simple; “the Tims” – not the word they used – would be pushing for all three games to be called off and the points awarded to Aberdeen’s opponents. It has happened in other European countries, so it had a certain logic to it.

Why bother playing the game next weekend when we could simply have it called off and take the points and a 3-0 victory, right? Obviously a solution that would suit Celtic right down to the ground. That was the general thinking, and they agreed on it.

Now, a short time later it was made clear that Aberdeen’s following two fixtures would go ahead anyway, including the one against us. Did you really think that would make these clowns reverse their position and acknowledge that none of this was our doing?

Of course not. Because although many of them had declared that the 3-0 win would suit us and therefore we’d be pushing for the forfeiting of the game behind the scenes, they were all able to swiftly change tack and declare that we hadn’t wanted that at all.

No, instead Celtic fought for the game to be played because we know we will beat Aberdeen by more than the three goals we’d have been awarded.

And the cancellation of the St Johnstone game but not the Celtic match proves, definitively, to these lunatics that the Unseen Fenian Hand was working away behind the scenes, to get the outcome we desired.

What must it be like inside their heads, do you think? To imagine that every deed in Scottish football is being directed by the dark artists of Celtic Park? It doesn’t matter that much of what they believe is illogical nonsense; they believe in it anyway.

They see our presence everywhere, in everything, from Dundee’s missing vote to the global health emergency itself.

If someone proposed a theory on their site which explained corona as a necessary feature of the ten in a row campaign, and it had the slightest hint of underlying logic to it, I swear that it would sweep through their forums with its own lethal virulence and become an article of faith for them forevermore.

They believe we exploited it; it cannot be more than a modest leap to believe that we had a hand in its entrance to the world stage.

Sevco fans are a little crazy, aren’t they?

Holding so many contradictory views in their heads at any one time has to be exhausting.

The CelticBlog faces many challenges going forward. If you like what we do, please subscribe and never miss another article. If you’re on Facebook, join us on our Facebook Group or share us on yours, if you’re on Twitter remember and re-tweet all our work.

1 of 14

Which word is the media resistent to using about the events of 2012?