There is an outstanding and hilarious Mitchell and Webb sketch where a Nazi soldier approaches his commanding officer and asks him a question that’s clearly been on his mind a while.
It’s about the SS uniforms and caps which they wear, and specifically an issue he’s having with them.
“They’ve got skulls on them,” he says in distaste. “Are we the baddies?”
What makes this sketch particularly brilliant is the discussion that follows, wherein the puzzled soldier ponders the grotesque visual and how it looks to others.
“Well of course (the Allies) are going to say we’re the bad guys!” the commanding officer says, to which the soldier responds, “But they didn’t get to design our uniforms!”
And it’s sometimes really as simple as that, if you are able to take a step outside of the situation and see it from that perspective.
I thought of that today when I saw Phil Mac Giolla Bhain’s article about the DUP MP Gregory Campbell, who’s racist rant on Twitter about – believe it or not – the makeup of Songs Of Praise has focussed attention again on the backward ideology of the Loyalist ethnocracy.
Phil’s piece offered a not-so-subtle reminder that Campbell considers himself the Right Honourable Member for Ibrox (just look at that brilliant image) and frequently uses his elected position to push conspiracy theories and other such disreputable nonsense on their behalf.
Phil also re-focussed our attention on the Ibrox PR operation, which is in the hands of one of Campbell’s loyalist brethren.
They might be having a good year, publicity wise, relative to our own evolving, expanding, shit-show anyway, but the fact that the upper echelons over there are still inhabited by these kinds of moon-howlers reassures me that we’ll be back to marvelling at their own capacity for self-destruction, not to mention delusion, soon enough.
And there’s already some evidence of it in today’s papers; the latest ring-around the “donor pool” of Club 1872 as the club tries to raise an emergency £2.5 million to see them through the next few months.
As per usual, it’s a share deal that’s on offer …
If those certificates are worth more than the average square of toilet paper I’ll be absolutely amazed.
You’ll have read, no doubt, a lot of nonsense about how they could “catch up with Celtic” in terms of finance next year, right?
The truth is a little bit different as anyone who can read numbers could probably guess.
Only if there’s a major fall-off in season ticket numbers at Parkhead – and that’s up to the board- will that be even possible.
Look, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to write this; even when there was a club called Rangers, an actual Rangers as opposed to a phantom, there were only two seasons that I could find since Fergus finished the stadium where they finished in front of us in revenue terms, and those were in years where they got to the Champions League Groups and we didn’t have European Group Stage football of any sort.
That was an Ibrox operation at maximum capacity, going full-tilt.
And by the way, they were still losing money, year on year on year.
So-called “finance experts” telling us how we’re about to be overtaken have to lace their opinions through with a lot if’s, buts and maybes.
Is there a chance they could catch us, financially?
Sure, there is.
For one season, in optimal conditions, if everything goes right over there and wrong over here.
The truth of their predicament is that they are on the bones of their arses, running an unsustainable operation.
Yes, they might come close to breaking even and maybe even posting a one-year profit if they get to the Champions League Groups … but you know as well as I do that they’ll increase spending and negate most of that right out of the gate.
Frankly, I don’t know what kind of state they’ll be in to pay salaries this time next year.
But right now, their PR operation is doing the job it’s supposed to … spreading disinformation and even outright lies through the media, and making sure that their latest rattling of the tin cup is not interpreted as a sign of a business in trouble.
Which, really, is all their PR department has to do right now.
None of their supporters wants to look too closely at the foundations they built this season, lest they discover that they are made of sand after all, which I assure you is the case.
Never forget who we’re dealing with here.
Never forget what the Ibrox operation is.
Never forget who it is run by or what it is built on top of.
Campbell is the sharp point of the very large iceberg; his repellent views are rampant at that club, which is why they will never be more than a marginal entity whereas we can truly claim to being a global institution.
He symbolises the darkness at their core.
Ibrox fans with any sense of self-awareness at all would be looking at this man and those like him who “Follow Follow” spewing hatred and bile, as well as those who flutter through that club like Deaths Head moths, and be forgiven for asking themselves, “In associating with these Peepul, and in allowing their names to be affixed to ours … are we the baddies?”
And the answer is obvious to those of us on the outside.
“Yes, I’m afraid you are.”